


The Scenes Between

by Adelheide1121



Category: General Hospital
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 62,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adelheide1121/pseuds/Adelheide1121
Summary: What do a Secret Agent and infectious disease Doctor do off-screen? A series of vignettes to help fill in the gaps. Think of it as Finn & Anna: The Extended Cut. These scenes won't be in chronological order.





	1. Chapter 1

Holding Cell, Location Unknown

The damp air of the cell grew colder making Anna deduce that night had fallen. Out of habit, she walked a circuit around the cell. Her senses were alert, constantly looking and listening. She turned towards the narrow cot that was set against the stained cinder block wall. Finn lay there his arm thrown over his face and he was snoring ever so slightly. Her face softened as she looked at him. She had scolded him for following Robert's plan but if she was honest with herself she was impressed with how well he was handling the situation. She was coming to understand that he had more skills that of just sarcasm.

She walked over and looked at Finn as he slept and before she could stop herself she reached to brush the dark hair away from his eyes. She was tempted to run her fingers through it but was loath to wake him. Experience had taught her that sleep was a precious commodity while in captivity.

A noise on the other side of their cell door caught her attention. They must change guards for the night shift she thought. That would make the time around eight or nine o'clock pm. Suddenly she felt fingers close around her wrist and looked down to see Finn rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Oh good you're really here I didn't just dream you.” He rubbed his temples in an attempt to rid himself of the weariness he still felt.

“If being in a damp room perfumed by mildew is a dream of yours I would recommend you reach higher.” She arched her brow at him and smiled wryly.

“You know that's a really good idea.” He stood up and loomed over her.

Anna never perceived herself as small but she was acutely aware of how tall he was as he leaned closer in. She swallowed. As much as she wanted to deny it something about Hamilton Finn made the calm cool Agent Devane feel breathless and undone. It was something she hadn't felt in a very very long time and It was a feeling she was happy to be enjoying again so unexpectedly. Kidnapping be damned she decided she didn't want to waste a moment with him. They had wasted too many already since their disastrous New Year's Eve thanks to Cassandra and in large part to her own fears. Don't ever push me away for my own good again. Finn’s words echoed in her ears. Stepping even closer she smiled brilliantly at him as she reached her hands under the edge of his vest. She spread her fingers across his ribcage when she heard him inhale sharply.  
“Are you ok?” she pulled back immediately

“Sure, your hands are cold and I love the feel of ice cubes on my skin.”

“No, that wasn't it. You winced in pain. Did they hurt you?” Before Finn could protest she had pushed him towards the cot and placed her hands on his shoulders urging him to sit down.

”Let me see.”

Without waiting for an answer Anna knelt down in front of him and reached for the buttons of his vest. Despite her concern, she couldn't help but smile at the contrast of the formality of his attire with the drabness of their surroundings. She also realized she liked this, the ritual of undressing him. There was something so sensual about peeling through all of the layers: vest, tie, and dress shirt to reach the man beneath. It was so different from what she experienced with her past lovers, especially Robert, who usually stripped himself down to his boxers before she had even made the first move.

She heard Finn hiss in discomfort which broke Anna from her revery and caused her to refocus on the task in front of her. First, her fingers deftly unbuttoned his vest. He reclined slightly and watched, making no motion to assist her. Anna eased the vest off his shoulders and set it aside. Her hands moved to his tie and as she slid the knot down his hand reached to cover hers. He looked into her eyes and kissed it gently then released her so she could continue.

She moved next to unbutton his shirt and parted it to look at him in the thin pale flickering neon light that barely cast enough of a glow to see by. She could see swelling and the mottled color of a bruise on his torso. Her trained eyes recognized a blunt force contusion when she saw one. She looked at him in surprise.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Goons 1. Ribs 0.” he quipped.

Anna resisted the urge to roll her eyes and got back to her work. She carefully ran her hands along the swollen skin pressing carefully to feel for signs of internal bleeding.

“Ouch! A warning maybe? Your bedside manner could use some improvement.”

“You are going to lecture me on bedside manner? Seriously?”  
“Hey, my patients find my abruptness...refreshing”

“Mmmhmm...I'll bet they do.” she retorted sarcastically. She leaned back on her heels and looked him over with her eyes. “Well, Dr. Finn I'll need to determine the severity of injury so I can know if this is serious or not.”

“And who's the doctor in this operation?”

“Don't worry all WSB field agents have to be trained to deal with injuries in the field. I will need to thoroughly assess your wound”

“Oh, really how will you do that?”

“Well the first task is to assess the injured person, perform a full check of the wound and look for signs and symptoms of more serious injury.” she leaned forward angling for a better look.

“Oh, well that doesn't sound too bad. Feel free to assess me for as long as you like Agent Devane.”

The way he placed just a hint of suggestiveness in his voice coupled with the dark look in his eyes made Anna pause. She had a sudden and overwhelming need to touch him. She wasn't sure what had come over her but at this moment she didn't feel like second guessing it either.

With a gleam in her eye, Anna leaned down and gently kissed the marred flesh on his abdomen. Once the area had been thoroughly explored she continued up his rib cage and then up and over the line of his sternum. She smiled with satisfaction when she heard his breath hitch as her lips breathed warm air onto his chest. Goosebumps rose as she continued to survey his body for any other signs of injury.

“Next I have to ask if you have any allergies.”

“Not that I'm aware of.”

“Good. Medications?”

“I try to stay away from pills if I can.”

“Duly noted. Past pertinent medical history?”

“That's a long sordid tale do you want to be up all night?”

“Alright then.” She leaned in, the nearness of him was overwhelming. She placed her hands on his chest and angled her face toward his. She had really missed him and the realization both surprised and delighted her.

“Last oral intake?” She whispered low in his ear His face was only millimeters from her own. She felt him shiver and she was certain it wasn't from the cold. He made no sound and Anna realized she may have finally left the man of endless comebacks completely speechless.

“Doctor?” she asked huskily and then in an instant his hands were in her hair and his lips were on hers. His tongue was insistently exploring her mouth and she adjusted to deepen the kiss. It had been so long since she had felt him this close and warmth spread like fire through her limbs. During her captivity, she had spent hours trying to keep track of the days and weeks passing by but she had spent a fair amount of time thinking about the planes of his body. Their time together had been interrupted and remembering the feel of him was something just familiar enough but not so routine that she knew it by heart.

Her hands moved to tangle in his hair as he placed his firmly on her hips. He pulled at her till she was sitting on his lap and then his hands moved to the buttons of her blouse. Anna inhaled sharply as Finn's lips moved to the column of her neck and she closed her eyes taking in the sensation. But something in the back of her mind was blaring like a claxon, trying to get her to return to earth from the heights Finn was quickly taking her to.

She knew they needed to stop. The practical side of her psyche knew he was injured and had gone through a harrowing experience. He needed rest. But there another side of her that had been hidden away for so long and that part of her soul was aching to be touched. Anna let the angel and devil wrestle on her shoulder until the practical side won out. She reluctantly pulled back from his embrace and attempted to catch her breath.

“What?” Finn looked at her quizzically but stilled his hands as soon as he felt her withdraw.  
“As much as I hate saying this, and believe me I do hate saying this, but you really need to rest. I don't want this bruise to get worse and we have no idea to expect tomorrow. On top of it all, I need to think out a plan for us.”

“But I feel fine. Fit as a fiddle.” he patted his side for emphasis and then groaned. “Ok, maybe it's more than a little tender. But if we slow down now you have to promise we can celebrate properly when we get home, right?” She nodded emphatically, her heartwarming when he reached out to squeeze her hand.

“Can you hold me?” she noticed by his raised eyebrows that her request had caught him off guard. And no wonder, she wasn't one to ask for things from others.  
He lay down and shifted his weight on the thin mattress to give her a sliver of space. She carefully wedged herself against the wall of the cell and the warmth of his body trying her best to avoid disturbing his left side. She settled into the crook of his arm and relished the feel of his hand on her hip. She pulled the rough wool blanket that lay at their feet over them and looked into his clear blue eyes; eyes she could see were filled with weariness.

”I'm sorry,” she said softly. She looked at him in the dim light. “I'm so sorry.”

“Hey,” he said reaching to cup the side of her face “I'm sorry for not being here sooner. I’m sorry I didn't know you were missing. Maybe we can have a code or something so I'll be better at this whole thing in the future.”

“The future…” she began but let her voice trail off. She couldn't bear the thought of him being in danger again because of her. He must have read her mood because he turned to look her directly in the eyes and wouldn’t let her look away.  
“Listen, I'm just glad that you are alright. I was worried they had hurt you. When Robert told me you were missing I assumed the worst.” He entwined his fingers with hers his thumb tracing circles on the side of her wrist. She liked his hands and how they always seemed to be reaching for and caressing hers. He had healer's hands, strong and capable.

“It's ok, I'm fine.” she squeezed his hand reassuringly hoping the pressure would alleviate some of his worries. “But I am curious about something. How did Robert handle my disappearance?”

“Calm actually. Which seemed strange considering that you are...you know...what the two of you are to each other.  
Anna chuckled “I know what you are trying to say. No, that's good that he seemed controlled that means that the Intel he has convinced him that our lives are not in immediate danger. If he had been truly worried for my life then you would have been able to tell.”

“You mean he has a setting other than sardonic disdain?” Finn was rewarded by the sound of Anna's silvery laugh that was muffled as she pressed her face into his chest.  
“Oh yes. He can be overbearing but he has gotten me out of a tight spot more than once and God knows I owe him for that.” She snuggled closer to Finn. “Thank you, by the way, for trusting me. I need to know who is behind this and what they want with you. Thank you for understanding that.”

“If there is one thing I have learned about you, other than how you like your tea, it's that you would rather banish me from your life than let me get harmed so if I should trust in anything, it would be you. You wouldn't risk me unnecessarily, at least, I don't think so.”  
“No that's true. I wouldn't. I hope to keep you around a bit longer. Go ahead and sleep. My instincts tell me that they will want to move us right before dawn; early enough to transport us without being hampered by traffic but late enough not to draw suspicion while on the road.”

She kissed his cheek and she felt his grip on her tighten and he pulled her closer. She could feel him kiss the crown of her head. The gesture was so sweetly given that she felt the prick of tears forming unbidden behind her eyelids. Finn had a way of disarming her in unexpected ways, he was such a surprise.

“Anna, promise you won’t go anywhere without me,” he said softly. With those final words, Finn closed his eyes and was out like a light.

Anna smiled and reached to touch his face. She felt the curve of his jaw and the roughness of the stubble of his chin under her fingers. She luxuriated for a moment in the feeling of his warmth.

“Don't worry, I won't,” she whispered before joining him in a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He found her standing at the pier looking out into the harbor. Can Finn comfort Anna after the confrontation with Peter at the Pier? Will, she let him?

Pier 55, Port Charles Harbor

He found her standing at the pier looking out into the harbor. The sound of the bells was tolling in the distance and the breeze coming off the water lifted her dark hair, wafting it about her shoulders. She was still dressed in the same outfit she had worn to the Nurse’s Ball. Her arms wrapped around herself, rubbing her upper arms as if to keep herself warm. As he walked closer, Finn noticed her teeth were chattering and she seemed to be shivering uncontrollably. He recognized the signs. In WWI it was called shellshock, then it was called post-traumatic stress and now in civilian terms, it was called an Acute Stress Reaction. But it all meant the same thing, her body was reacting to a traumatic incident. He couldn’t think of too many incidents that could top being held at gunpoint and threatened by the child you gave up for adoption. But then again this was Anna, she had endured more pain than anyone should ever have to bear. He moved to stand next to her, his hands in his pockets, simply waiting to see what toll the last 24 hours had taken on her body and soul.

“He was right you know, Valentin. I was ambitious. Impressing Sean, that's all I could think about. How could I get WSB Chief Donely to notice an orphan from nowhere in particular? And I thought I was so clever that I'd take down Cesar Faison. What stupid stupid fool I was. And now we all pay the price, Peter, Robin, Nathan, Robert. I should have killed him a long time ago. But I never could and for the life of me, I don't know why. Why did I turn out to be such a coward? Sean would be so disappointed in me. And Valentin...I should kill him for what he did to Peter. I could do it you know, but I'd have to think it out carefully.”

Finn recognized what was happening. He had seen it in areas ravaged by disease when the loss was too great, trauma had a way of unlocking memories and emotions long buried. Anna was in a full memory cascade. He turned to her slowly like he was approaching a skittish colt that might bolt at any moment. As he moved her he saw her tense up. He raised his hands in a non-threatening manner.

“When was the last time you ate?”

She looked at him confused. “What?”

“When is the last time you ate? It's a simple question. How about slept? My guess is that you have been up for at least 24 hours. Listen, even superheroes need sleep.”

She returned to looking at the water and he sidled close enough to reach for her hand. She didn't pull away. As nonchalantly as he could manage, he placed his fingers on her wrist and tried to look at his watch without being obvious. She turned to look at him and he felt like she was just becoming truly aware of his presence for the first time.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm taking your pulse.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm a doctor. And I was right, your heart is racing. Your body is in a tug of war between fight and flight. You need to take care of yourself.”

“I'm fine.” She took a step away a resumed looking out at the dark choppy water.

And there she was, Agent Devane. But Finn knew Anna was in there somewhere buried deep down in her psyche. He wanted to find her and retrieve her before she was too deep to reach.

“I disagree with that assessment. I’m going to take you home.”

At first, he was sure she was going whirl on him and tell him to go to hell. But instead, she exhaled in a deep weary sigh and nodded and then she leaned on his shoulder. He held her close and stared out at the harbor amazed that just 5 hours ago she had been in a standoff and could have ended up with a bullet hole. What would he have done if she had been wheeled into General Hospital, bleeding out on the very night he had worked up the courage to tell her the truth about how he felt. She had begun to fill this void in his life and the prospect of losing her terrified him.

It's not easy to stand by and watch people eviscerate themselves with the best intentions.

That's what makes this a tragedy.

Their words from earlier filled his mind as he helped her into his car. Throughout the car ride, she rambled about the times she could have eliminated Faison punctuated now and then with how she would rid the world of Valentin. Finn was impressed by her creativity. And her knowledge of international maritime laws and countries with bribable judiciary systems was exhaustive. He took note that she seemed to be owed several favors from individuals with questionable backgrounds. Good to know.

As time passed she grew silent in the car. He tried to keep her talking but soon she ignored even yes or no questions. She was shutting down and locking herself up in her own mind. All Finn could concentrate on was his desire to care for her. There was no one stronger than Anna Devane but everyone had their limits and he knew she had reached hers. As a doctor, the drive to heal and restore the body was what got him out of bed and into the hospital every morning. But it's the emotional wounds you can't diagnose with a blood test or see on a scan that frustrated him. How could he even begin to devise a course of treatment? He would have to do what he did best and focus on easing the physical symptoms first. Everything inside him was urging him to take care of her and he would.

Finn unlocked the front door to their house- Anna's house he corrected himself. It hadn't been his for months. He helped remove her coat and led her up the stairs and down the hall to her bedroom. She followed docilely. 

He walked into the master bathroom and began to run her a bath, filling the white clawfoot with hot water. He had expected Anna to follow but she still stood where he had left her so he took her hand and brought her in. The room was already becoming warm with steam. His hand moved to the satin sash at her waist and he untied it. Her choice of attire for the nurse's ball made sense now. It would be hard to conceal a gun in an evening gown although Finn had no doubt that Anna had plenty of experience with guns and gowns. 

Next he removed her satin jacket leaving her upper body covered only by her black bra. He had her sit on the vanity chair as he bent to remove her shoes then pulled her up to stand and he worked to peel her black slacks from her. At no time did she pull away or make motions to help him. She was still locked away in her own thoughts. Soon she stood, underwear-clad, in the middle of the bathroom. The tub was filled and white oleander-scented bubbles covered the surface. He waited for her to make motions to finish undressing or move towards the bath but she still stood motionless. 

Finn’s jaw set as he made a decision and closed the distance between them. He picked her up and she felt like nothing in his arms. Somehow this woman managed to be tough as steel and light as air at the same time. He gently set her into the tub and she gasped as she sank into the warm water. She leaned forward drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Finn reached forward and lightly touched her shoulder. She looked at him and nodded knowing what he wanted to do. He reached forward and unhooked her black lace bra and she shrugged it off. She then shimmied in the water until her black lace panties were removed as well. Then Anna leaned back and closed her eyes. 

Finn left her to soak and walked downstairs to the kitchen and set about making tea. He pulled down the electric kettle from a shelf and filled it with water. He had gotten it for her for Christmas. He pulled down the largest mug he could find and the tin of chamomile tea that was also a gift from him when he had thought she could use less caffeine. He remembered the exasperated look she had given him as she had pushed his gift aside reached for her favorite Earl Grey. This room was filled with memories. The whole house was filled with the ghosts of laughter and conversation. He thought over his time here and one thing struck him. He had been happy. Home, that was what this house was to him if he allowed himself to admit it. Here with her and her things. He got back to the task at hand. He wondered if he could convince her to eat something. Maybe toast to go with the tea. He set two slices of bread into the toaster and got out the marmalade and peanut butter. He didn't know where she developed a taste for such an unholy combination but then nothing about Anna Devane had a simple explanation. 

With all of his items collected Finn mounted the stairs again. He set the tray holding the cup and saucer and toast on her nightstand. He looked around the room until he found a dog eared copy of Pride and Prejudice. Despite her tech savviness Anna preferred to read real physical books, and she had a particular fondness for hardbacks. He set the book next to the tray in case she wanted it. He then turned down the covers to make the bed ready for her.

He crept up and put his ear to the bathroom door and he could hear the sound of wracking sobs. He resisted the urge to go to her. This was the catharsis she needed and his presence might keep her from giving in to her emotions. She was the strongest person he had ever met but she had a lifetime worth of tears that needed to be shed and he would give her the space to do that. He would be there to help build her up again after.

Finn crossed the room and pulled open the top drawer of the dresser looking for something to put her into after her bath. He stopped short when he found a dark blue men’s dress shirt neatly folded and sitting on top of her pajama sets. He lifted it up. He recognized the dark blue material printed with tiny black polka dots. This was his, he must have left it behind the night of their ill-fated second attempt at New Year's Eve. He inspected it closer. The shirt had been brand new and he had only worn it once before he left the house. But looking closely at the shirt in his hand he could see that fabric was faded and the collar was no longer crisp. It showed signs of wear and looked as if it had been laundered often. The scent of Anna’s perfume lingered on it. He stood stunned for a moment processing what this meant. She really had missed him all this time.

He set the shirt on the bed and returned to listen at the door. The sound of her cries had ceased and when he entered the room she lay back with her eyes closed. Finn took a moment to unbutton and roll up the cuffs of his shirt. Bottles filled a caddy that was next to the tub. He selected one and poured its contents into the palm of his hand. He then knelt down behind her and massaged the lavender scented gel into her wet hair, raking his fingers across her scalp causing her to sigh in appreciation. He then scrubbed her back and arms till her skin was pink. Finn finished by rinsing the suds from her hair. He felt like he was helping her wash away all of the guilt and sorrow she had harbored for so long. 

Once he had finished bathing her he held out a warm terry cloth towel as she stood up and exited the bath. He tried to be gentlemanly and avert his eyes but it was hard to ignore the sight of her, shining and sleek from the tub, in front of him. She was beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and carry her to the bed and finish what they had started before he so foolishly left all those months ago. But now was not the time he reminded himself, so instead, he dried her off and smiling he held out the blue shirt for her to slip her arms into. 

She stiffened when she saw it as if she had been caught red-handed but Finn’s smile was soon mirrored by her own as she covered face with her hand in embarrassment. He helped her into the shirt and carefully fastened each of the small jet black buttons leaving the top one open. Try as he might he couldn't ignore that she bit her lip when his fingers grazed her skin as he worked at each buttonhole. Once done, he folded and smoothed the shirt collar and took a step back to look at her.

The sight of her standing in front of him barefoot, her damp hair tousled, skin glowing and wearing his clothes caused something to snap inside him. Finn’s heart began to pound so hard he was certain she could hear it. The urge to wrap his arms around her waist and place his mouth on hers was so strong he didn't know how he found the strength to resist it. He took a deep breath to compose himself and reached for her hand instead.

Anna took his hand in her own but then walked right into his arms. Surprised, Finn pulled her to him enveloping her. Anna seemed to melt into him and then he felt her knees buckle. Exhaustion had finally overcome her. He picked her up and carried her to her bed, laid her down and tucked her in. He even cajoled her into taking three bites of toast and a gulp of tea. He then sat beside her and rubbed her back until he heard the even sound of her breathing which signaled that her battle with sleep was over and she was finally at rest. He leaned down and kissed her cheek softly before gathering his things and leaving her home. But this time he knew he would be back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So this is how I’m going to die. Going over a cliff and drowning in the ocean.” Anna and Finn take on Monte Carlo.

Monte Carlo, Monaco

“So this is how I’m going to die. Going over a cliff and drowning in the ocean.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic.” Anna shifted and accelerated out of the turn.

“We are supposed to be driving to a casino not winning the Grand Prix.” 

The growl of the Ferrari F430 F1 Spider accelerating around the next curve was the only response he received.

“Well if you ever wanted to quit the spy business, you could have a good career as a race car driver.”

He saw her expression change ever so slightly as she flinched at his words. Something he said had struck a nerve. 

“You are not the first person to make that observation.” She said tensely. “Listen, it's been a long time since I’ve driven these roads and even longer since I’ve done it while not being chased or in pursuit of someone. Let me enjoy myself, while you sit back and enjoy the ride.” 

The roar of the V8 engine prompted Finn to check his seatbelt one more time and braced his arms against the center console and the armrest. He tried to look out the window to enjoy the views of the Cote D'Azur, but all he could think about was careening into the picturesque Mediterranean ocean. He didn’t relax until Anna brought the car to a screeching halt at the front entrance of the Casino de Monte-Carlo. The glamorous Belle Epoque building loomed over them, aglow with light and activity. Once he was done being thankful that he was standing on solid ground, Finn surveyed the architecture trying to classify the ornate style of the building.

“Neoclassical?” he asked

“Close.” Anna answered “Beaux-Arts style.”

“That’s it.” He snapped his fingers.

She handed the keys to the valet and reached to take the arm that Finn offered her.

“See? You made it in one piece,” Anna teased. “You really should learn to trust me.”

They walked up the stairs and through the heavy doors made of polished wood and gleaming glass. They passed by the Salle des Amériques, the sound of slot machines merrily rang out, serenading the gamblers that were sitting at them. Anna seemed to know her way around the complex, as she deftly guided him towards a room of impressive proportions.

“Welcome to the Lounge Bar Salle Europe. Please allow me to check your coats for the evening.” The lounge host greeted them warmly. 

Finn looked appreciatively at the opulence of the setting. His gaze was captivated by the gilding, the vibrant paintings, sculptures, and bas-reliefs. The effervescent atmosphere around the gaming tables made the Salle Europe Bar the perfect location to take in the sights. The lounge offered a cozy area in which to sit back and watch the casino floor, perfect for soaking up the atmosphere. The live piano music only added to the charm.

Finn tore his eyes away from the lounge’s polished interior to help Anna out of her long black overcoat. As she shrugged out of it, Finn’s eyes widened. The sight of what was being revealed made him forget about the decor altogether. The short, red silk cocktail dress she wore skimmed her body like a second skin. It had a high neckline but draped low in the back, exposing the long line of her spine. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and glinted in the bright lights of the casino floor. Finn was speechless for a moment. Anna was usually so buttoned up that seeing her like this made his jaw literally drop. He told himself not to stare and instead fiddled with the buttons on the sleeves of his dress shirt.

Anna turned to him and smiled as she placed her fingers on his tie, smoothing a small crease. She made a final adjustment and slid her hands slowly to rest on the lapel of the perfectly fitted dinner jacket she had selected for him. Anna thought he looked quite handsome. She hoped that she could help assuage the sadness that still lingered in his eyes. She still felt terrible for her insensitivity earlier in the evening at the Brasserie. Talking about her family after the loss he experienced had been callous. She was already pushing him far past his comfort zone to catch Cassandra Pierce she didn't need to top it off with cruelty, unintentional or not. “Your ability to read a person is slipping Devane,” she chastised herself internally.

“Try to have fun tonight, yeah?” She looked up into his face and gave a small smile, and he nodded in response while letting out a deep breath. The sight of a figure walking up to them caught Finn’s attention, and Anna turned to follow his gaze. Unexpectedly, she gave a little squeal, jumped and clapped her hands together. Finn blinked in surprise.

“Mademoiselle Devane! We have not seen you in so long, Cherie! What a pleasure for you to be with us tonight.” A man Finn guessed to be in his late 50’s was walking towards them his arms wide. He was graying around the temples and was clad in a white tuxedo jacket. The red geranium at the lapel gave him a rather rakish look.

Anna clasped her hands to her heart before holding them out to the man. “Jacques! It’s been too long.” They kissed their hellos and then Jacques took her hands in his and looked her over. 

“You are as beautiful as ever.” 

“And you are as charming as ever.”

“Now what brings you here to Monaco? Business or pleasure?”

She looked behind her shoulder at Finn. “Perhaps a little bit of both.”

“And who do you have with you tonight?” 

“Oh, of course, where are my manners. Jacques this is Dr. Hamilton Finn. Finn this is Jacques, he is the floor manager here at the Casino de Monte-Carlo. He has been a dear friend to me over the years.”

“If I am your dear friend then you were my angel. Come! Drinks are on the house tonight. What can I get you, Anna? A Kir Royal? Or champagne? We have the 2006 Laurent Perrier Grand Siècle, your favorite year as I recall.” He snapped his fingers to signal the bartender.

“You have an excellent memory but…,“She glanced at a rather uncomfortable looking Finn who stood with one hand in his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck with the other. “I think tonight calls for something stronger. I think a scotch on the rocks will do nicely.” 

“And you sir?” Jacques asked politely

“Club soda with a twist of lime will be fine.”

“I’ll leave you to enjoy yourselves and your drinks while I find you both room in the VIP salon.” With that, he kissed Anna on the cheek and hurried away. Finn looked at her incredulous.

“Really? A Secret Agent in Monte Carlo, isn’t that a little cliche?”

“Mmm, maybe it is.” she acquiesced. 

“Next you are going to tell me you had Baccarat lessons as part of your training, right after poisoning.” 

She arched her brow at him. “Oh yes, that’s right. It was right after Poisoning 101 and before the Seminar on Enhanced Interrogation Techniques.” 

Anna turned and leaned back against the bar looking out on the busy casino floor. Finn noticed that her eyes were scanning the faces in the room and she seemed to take special note of all the entrances and exits. Anna picked up her glass and walked to a small table that gave her an unobstructed view of the gaming tables. Finn followed and pulled out the chair for her, and she nodded her head in thanks as she sat down. 

“Looking for someone?” He asked.

“Not in particular, but this is the sort of place where one might run into old friends.” A faraway look filled her eyes for a moment. 

“Why do I get the feeling that "old friends" is just spy-speak for enemies.”

Her eyes snapped to his, and she gave him a withering look. “I think you’ve watched too many James Bond films.” She took a sip of her scotch. She tasted caramel, toasted oak with a smoky finish and a note of dark honey. It was sublime. 

“Besides,” She leaned forward in her seat and leaned her chin on her hand so she could look at him directly, “I’m too high profile of a target. They would have to be foolish to attempt an assassination in such a public place. They will wait till we leave.” 

A look of horror covered Finn’s face, and he looked all around in a panic. Anna tried to contain her mirth for as long as she could, but then her laugh rang like a silver bell through the casino floor which turned heads in their direction. Anna barely registered the stir she was making as her laughter made her breathless. Once she composed herself, she leaned in over the small table between them and smiled widely at him. Her smile seemed to brighten the whole room. Finn realized that this was the first time he had really heard her laugh and it was delightful. It took him off guard and before Finn could help himself, and he was joining in her laughter until his face hurt from smiling. 

“So how do you know that Jacques guy? Ex-boyfriend?”

“Hardly. No, I helped break up a card counting ring that was using international casinos as a means to launder money from illegal arms deals.” 

“Impressive.”

“It sounds more exciting than it was,” she said dismissively

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“Well, it's not like what you do.” Anna raised her glass towards him in salute.

“Like what I do?” Finn was perplexed. “Look at slides through microscopes?”

“No, being an Infectious Disease doctor.” Anna slapped him lightly on the shoulder, and he looked down in surprise then back at her.

“Excuse me, how is that exciting? I don’t think I have heard anyone use that term to describe me ever. I’m probably the least exciting person on the planet.”

“Oh come on, you’re joking.” she rolled her eyes, but when he continued to look at her uncomprehendingly, she sighed and sat up straighter so she could explain. 

“It’s exciting because of the risk you take in treating your patients every single day. Most doctors simply treat their patient’s condition. Take Griffin, for example, he’s a talented neurosurgeon, but he doesn’t have to worry about contracting the tumor he’s removing from his patient. But you...you have to treat the patient and contain any threat there might be to the population at large. What you do doesn’t affect just one life; you might protect hundreds if not thousands of people. And then there is the risk to yourself from being exposed to dangerous infections that you face head-on every day. It takes courage to do what you do.” She raised her glass to her lips and swallowed the remaining liquid. Then she signaled to the bartender for another drink.

Finn was stunned by her words. He had never thought of himself in those terms before, and courageous was definitely not an adjective he would have applied to himself...ever. He had spent the last month in seclusion barely keeping himself afloat and this woman, who took down international weapons dealers for a living, was talking to him like he was some sort of a hero. 

He took a moment to really look at her. The single candle on their table reflected its light off the angles of her face. The hollow of her throat stood out in relief at the base of her neck. Her warm brown eyes smiled at him, and her sleek dark hair shone glossy in the candlelight. He felt an unexpected tightness in his chest when he looked at her, and a feeling he couldn't quite place filled him. Gratitude wasn’t the right word. Maybe the right word was honored.  
He cleared his throat and reached for this club soda. “I guess...I guess I never really thought about it like that.”

Anna nodded and took another sip of her drink. She tapped her glass against her lips and seemed lost in thought. Finn wanted to ask her what was on her mind but before he could the lounge host approached their table.

“Pardon me, Sir, Madame, but a place has been found for you in the Baccarat lounge, please follow me.”

Finn stood up and offered her his arm. She nestled her hand in the crook of his elbow, and they walked towards the Salle Médecin, ready to try their luck.

“So do you think the Baccarat gods will smile on us tonight?“ Finn asked

“I’m hoping you will be my lucky charm,” Anna answered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fake dating can take its toll, especially when there is an attraction. Anna and Finn take a moment to enjoy each others company.

Devane Manor, Port Charles

The house was quiet when she entered it. Anna had noticed Finn's car parked in the driveway but the lights were dimmed and she couldn’t hear him on the lower floor. One would think that the house was empty, but she knew it wasn’t. Even if it were not for the sight of his medical bag on the table next to the door she would know Finn was there. She could feel his presence warming the house. He filled the large empty space with life, sarcasm, and humor. He was like a spark inside her home, which for so long had been as cold and vacant as a mausoleum in the nighttime hours. 

Anna kicked off her shoes in the darkened foyer and mounted the stairs with the intention of shedding herself of her business attire, getting comfortable and maybe retiring with a good book and a glass of red wine. The light seeping out from under his door let her know that he was inside. “He must be in his room relaxing with Roxy,” she mused to herself. The thought of him cuddled up with his bearded dragon made her smile.

As she made her way down the dark hallway, without warning, Anna found herself walking straight into a firm object. She pitched forward and lost her balance. Her world tilted and she was falling until she felt herself caught in two strong arms. Anna’s dark brown eyes found themselves looking into Finn’s crystal blue ones. His damp hair fell over his right eye which gave him an almost boyish look despite his age. She was suddenly aware that her hands were pressed against his naked chest. She could feel the firm muscle under her palms and the smell of sandalwood, musk, and clove on his skin was rosy and warm. 

Anna’s mind slowly started piecing together the situation she was in. Two things were suddenly apparent. One, Finn had just come from the shower. Her eyes spied a spot of royal blue on the floor. Two, Finn’s effort to keep her from falling must have made him drop his towel. She looked at the muscles of his arms taut with the task of holding her in place. 

Finn pulled her upright and then, to her surprise, lifted her completely off the ground then set her down. Anna Devane was not used to being literally swept off her feet. Once her feet were on the floor she was aware that she was still pressed against him and he had one hand on the back of her neck, tangled in her hair, while the other was still pressed against the small of her back. The whole situation had left her breathless, and the combination of the fall and Finn catching her had set her nerves on fire. Finn looked into her eyes for what seemed like a lifetime then he smiled at her.

“When I let go don't look, alright?” His voice was low and gruff and Anna felt the rumble of his voice reverberating down through her toes. She felt herself flush like she was some shy teenager rather than a grown woman who had seen plenty of naked men in her time; although she admitted to herself, it had been awhile.

Finn released his hold on her. Anna stepped back and turned her head as he bent down to retrieve the towel from the floor. When she turned back he was securing it at his waist. “I’m sorry I almost knocked you over,” he said sheepishly. ”I was using the hall shower because the water pressure is better than in my room for some reason.” He used his thumb to point towards the door behind him.

“Yes...well you know these old houses the...uh... plumbing...is..is well…” Her eyes were drawn down to the muscles of Finn’s abdomen and continued to his navel. She was distracted by the sight of his hipbone that was peeking from just above the low-slung towel. Anna found herself grasping for words. “What were you saying?”

“I wasn't saying anything. You were telling me about the plumbing.” A smile began to bloom on his face and mischief was in his eyes.

“Oh, right, well it can be...surprising. I mean it's surprising how things can change room by room.” She suddenly had the great desire to sink through the floor.

“Uh huh…”

“Well let me move out of your way. You probably need to get dressed to head to the hospital later.” She stepped aside and ran her hands through her hair and smoothed down the front of her skirt and blouse.

“No, I'm not on call tonight so I don't have anywhere to be.” He adjusted the towel on his waist and Anna could just barely see his muscles flex in the dim light of the hallway. “I can hang out all night.”

Anna's mouth went dry.

“-dessert?” 

“Hmmm?” She realized he was speaking to her but her brain was having a hard time concentrating on his words 

“I said, ‘I know you probably already ate but I bought a pint of Rocky Road on the way here and I was wondering if you wanted any dessert.’ Maybe we can just sit and talk?” 

“Oh, uh sure. Yes! That sounds good.”

“Alright let me get out of this towel and I will meet you downstairs. You look like you had a long day, why don't you get comfortable too.” 

“Ok, that sounds like a plan.” She noticed her voice sounded unusually high and a lot louder than she meant for it to be.

Anna straightened herself up and nodded before moving towards her bedroom at what she hoped was a casual speed. As soon as she was through the door she sank against it, willing her heart to beat slower. Once she had composed herself she moved towards the mahogany dresser and she opened the top drawer. She was thinking about Finn. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking only a few doors down. She was engaged in an internal struggle. Part of her longed to be held, ached for his company and nearly swooned at the prospect of being touched by him, but that side of her was at war with the part of her that had a deep need to hide how much he affected her physically. 

There was an attraction there, yes. She couldn’t deny that. The way she saw him look at her left her in no doubt that he felt the same way, but that didn’t mean they should act on it. Anna knew her armor was wearing paper-thin. She longed to finally allow herself to come in from the cold, lonely life she had been leading and feel his warmth. She took a moment to admit the truth to herself. They were here together simply because they want to be here, it was no longer about the case or his protection. He had asked her to spend time with him and tonight it was about enjoying each others company.

Anna selected a navy blue silk pajama set from her lavender-scented drawer and quickly changed. Her fingers fastened each button starting from the bottom up leaving the top button undone. She paused and looked at her reflection in the dresser mirror, examining her silhouette. On impulse, she unbuttoned the second button of her top and was pleased with the effect. She reached for her matching robe and began to pull it on but then stopped as a memory entered her mind. 

Without me or this operation, you are one step away from putting on a bathrobe and adopting a cat.

Anna decided against the robe. 

Downstairs she went and met Finn in the kitchen. He was dressed in a black, v-neck t-shirt and black sweatpants. She tried not to openly stare but he looked relaxed and appealing in his comfortable clothes. Anna could feel Finn’s eyes flick over her as he took in her lounging attire, pleased when his eyes lingered for a moment at her neckline. He smiled as he handed her a bowl of ice cream and Anna moved to the living room while Finn followed on her heels. She sat down on the couch with her back against the armrest, her feet tucked underneath her. Finn joined her and set himself in the middle with his feet propped up on the coffee table. The fire crackled cheerily and spread its warmth through the room. They sat savoring a rare moment in which they were together, not as agent and asset or doctor and spy, but as themselves. 

“So? How was your day of protecting the free world?” He dug into his bowl with his spoon and got to work demolishing his mountain of Rocky Road. 

“Good.” Anna ate a spoonful of ice cream enjoying the smooth creaminess on her tongue.”Got through a mountain of paperwork. Nowadays it feels like is 10% thrilling, investigative work and 90% bookkeeping.”

“Sort of like my job, 1% brain worms 99% chlamydia.” 

Anna snorted and then laughed hard. Finn joined her. Anna had grown to covet the sound of his laugh. He didn’t let himself indulge in it all that often so anytime she could coax his throaty laugh out of him was a success. She found nothing seemed to work better than her own laughter. As she watched him, Anna felt her eyes drawn to the images inked into his skin. 

“You have tattoos.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“Yes, I do. Why are you surprised?” 

“I don't know. I guess I just never pictured that under your three-piece suit.” He quirked his eye at her and she recognized how her words sounded. “I mean, not that I'm thinking about what's under your suit. I mean...I didn't see you a someone who would trust anyone to put a needle to your skin.”

“I had a buddy in med school that moonlighted as a tattoo artist to help pay his way through school. We all tried to throw him business. How about you? Do you have any?” 

“No. The WSB discourages any markings that can make an agent identifiable to the enemy in the field.” 

“Even if you can cover them up?” 

“Well depending on the type of operation, you might...need to uncover a bit.”

“Oh. And you've had those kinds of missions?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise and she could feel his eyes rake over her again.

“I'm sorry, that's classified.” 

“Too bad sounds interesting.”

“A good agent never seduces and tells.” 

Anna laughed and shifted her weight, she had the urge to stretch as she felt the pinpricks starting to settle over her legs. Finn noticed and motioned for her to do so as he set his empty bowl down. She hesitated for a moment and then unfolded herself. Finn reached and took possession of both her feet in his hands. He set about massaging her right foot and it took everything within her to keep from outright purring at the sensation. The feeling of his thumb stroking the arch of her foot was exquisite and suddenly felt very intimate.

They held each other’s gaze unable to vocalize what was passing between them. The air seemed to crackle with the electricity. 

“Hold still. Here, you have chocolate right... there.” Finn reached over and ran his thumb against the corner of her mouth. He looked at her for a moment and then put his thumb to his lips tasting the sweetness he had swept from her. Anna felt her insides turn to warm liquid. She couldn't take her eyes off his mouth. 

Finn moved a little closer. His arm was draped over the back of the couch and he brushed his hand against her shoulder. Now that he was close enough, he reached to finger a strand of her hair and Anna’s breath caught in her chest. He curled his large hand around hers making it feel both warm and small. The kiss they had shared before Christmas was on her mind and it was clear that it was on his too.

He looked at her intently as he reached to take the bowl from her other hand and set it down on the coffee table next to his. He ran his fingers from her hair over the side of her face and down her jaw until he was holding her chin in his hand, tilting her face towards his. Anna swallowed. He was so close, the clean smell of him filled her senses. She brought her hand to rest on his upper arm, tracing the images printed there, feeling the firm muscle underneath smooth skin. With the other, she traced his bottom lip. She knew what she wanted and moved to close the distance between them.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The sound of Finn’s beeper startled them both. The spell was broken and they pulled away.

“Uh, sorry that's the hospital. Something big must be happening if they are calling me tonight.” 

“You need to go. Of course. I hope nothing too terrible has happened.” Anna sprang up from the couch.

“I'll know when I get there. I’m sorry to have to run like this...”

“No problem. I should be getting ready for bed anyway. It’s late.” Finn looked at her so intently Anna felt rooted to the ground by his piercing gaze. He nodded and walked out of the living room and up the stairs.

Anna didn't know what to do with herself or her hands so she walked over to retrieve his medical bag from the table by the front door. Her hands gripped the worn leather handle tightly, echoing the grip she was trying to get on her own feelings. When Finn came down the stairs, the t-shirt and sweats were replaced with his usual slacks, dress shirt, vest, and tie. He collected his coat from the hall closet and put it on.

“Good luck!” She said as cheerfully as she could masking the disappointment she felt at their interrupted evening and what might have been. She handed the bag to him.

“Thank you.” Finn took a few steps away and then turned on his heel and returned to her. He cupped the side of her face and kissed her softly on the cheek. “I’ll see you later,” he said into her ear, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. His lips trailed along her hairline and she was sure she felt him nuzzle her hair, but the moment was so brief Anna was left wondering if maybe she had just imagined it. Finn turned, walked to the door, opened it and was gone. 

Anna let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and walked up the stairs to her bedroom to spend another night alone with a novel. She wondered if that would ever change. She hoped someday it would.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna is ready to leave Port Charles to begin her hunt for Dr. Obrecht. Finn has a few requests before she goes. Anna has to confront her feelings.

General Hospital, Port Charles

“This is good, isn’t it? Standing still long enough to stop running away from each other?” Anna looked at Finn

“The pleasure is all mine.” He smiled. She leaned in to kiss him again and ran her hand over the side of his face.

“So? Can you stick around for a little while?” Finn enjoyed having her in the hospital and hoped to spend as much time with her as he could before she went on her next adventure and left him behind.

“I’d love to but I need to finish making my travel arrangements and I want to go over the field agent’s notes before I go and I still need to pack.” Anna looked at him apologetically.

“Oh ok. But you will be home later?” Finn asked with a plaintive look in his eyes. At the word home, Anna smiled. “I only have a few more patients left to see. Can I spend the evening with you?”

“Of course. I’d really like that.”

“Ok, then I will see you later then.” He made a motion to stand up from the bench.

“I’m going to miss you.” The words slipped out before Anna could stop them.  
Finn sat back down and tilted his head as if he had misheard her. “What was that?”

She offered no further explanation and maintained her steady gaze in Finn’s crystal blue eyes. He looked at her expectantly but Anna just smiled back, enjoying their game. Anna leaned in for one more kiss and then stood to head down the corridor but felt a tug on her hand pulling her back. Finn stood, pulling her body flush against his and kissed her hard before letting her go.

“I’ll see you later.”

Devane Manor, Port Charles

Anna walked through the door of her home, leafing through the documents in her hand, her passport, another passport that contained her alias just in case it was needed- it was always best to be prepared- her first class plane ticket and the case notes sent from her contact in Argentina, the last place Dr. Obrecht was detected. A delicious smell drifted from the kitchen. She set her purse and papers down and hung up her coat before walking towards the promise of something delicious. She walked past her little-used formal dining room and was surprised to find the table set for two with candles lit. They very rarely ate there, they usually chose to eat standing and talking in the kitchen or companionably on the couch. She was intrigued.  
“Finn?” She called and walked through the door to the kitchen. She found him uncorking a wine bottle. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and there was an apron tied around his waist. Anna was amused at the sight of him. The cork made a loud popping sound as it came loose and Finn stood upright and acknowledged her presence.

“Red or white?”

“Red.” She said. Finn poured and handed her the glass.

“You made dinner?”

“No, I ordered from that little Italian place next to General that you like. Chicken Piccata and roasted vegetables for you and lasagna for me. Why don’t you take your glass into the dining room and I will be right out to join you.”

Anna did as she was told and sat down at the table. Finn joined her and placed her artfully plated meal in front of her. She picked up her silverware and tucked in. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. They talked about the challenges he was facing at the hospital. Being down a doctor with Griffin’s suspension had reverberated throughout the staff, shifting workloads and changing schedules. Anna let him know about the WSB’s lead on Obrecht and her plans to start in Argentina. After dinner was done Finn emerged with a slice of lemon chiffon cake and a cup of tea. Anna felt certain there was something he wanted to discuss beyond the day to day events at General Hospital so she decided to try and get to the point.

“So what is the occasion for all of this? Besides my leaving, that is?”

“Well, I thought that this would be a good time to talk somethings over. There is something that we need to discuss.”

“Really? What?”

“You asked me earlier if I was ok with you going after Obrecht and leaving me behind.”

“I do recall that yes, and if I remember right, you said no.”

“Correct.” He countered.

“But you know I’m going anyway.”

“Oh yes, I am under no illusions that I can tell you to do anything. But, since this is something that we will have contend with going forward I think we should talk about it. After all, we are involved. Right? We can agree we are involved?”

“Yes, I would say that we are involved.” 

“Ok good, at least we agree on that. So before you head off to bring that German-Swiss, whatever- mad scientist to justice, there are a few promises that I would like you to make or at least consider making.”

Anna raised an eyebrow and took a sip of tea. “This should be interesting. I’m listening.”

“Ok, first is you won’t sneak out in the middle of the night.”

This gave Anna a pause and she was about to make a retort but stopped. She placed her teacup on its saucer. She suddenly had an image of herself frantically trying to track down Robert during one of his many disappearing acts. The recollection brought the feelings of anger and fear right back to her. How could she do that to Finn? And he without the tools or means to find out her fate. His request was fair. She slowly nodded her head and saw Finn she exhale in relief.

“And second?” She motioned for him to continue.

“Whenever possible we will spend the evening before your departure together.”

Anna smiled and leaned back in her chair “Ok.”

“And third, you will let me make love to you, hold you all night, and you will wake up in my arms.”

Anna’s heart melted a little. The thought of him wanting to spend time with her before leaving was sweet and made her smile.

“And finally, you will let me kiss you goodbye before you leave. If you can promise me these things then I can figure out how to do without you once you are gone. And, I will have a wonderful memory to hold on to if, God forbid, something were to happen to you.”

She started at his words. “Nothing is going to happen to me...”

He raised his hand in the air to stop her. “Call me superstitious but I think you shouldn’t say that out loud.”

“You don’t want me to tempt fate. Is that what you are saying? Like, in Greek myth when the happiness of mortals attracts the anger of the gods?”

“Yes, like that.” Finn sorted through his memories until he found what he wanted to recall then quoted “Think not to match yourself against the gods, for men that walk the earth cannot hold their own with the immortals.”

Anna tilted her head, surprised at his recitation. The words were familiar and she sought to place them. “Let me see...Homer? The Iliad.” Finn nodded his head and grinned. Anna was pleased with herself for a moment but then contemplated his words.

“Sometimes my life feels like a Greek tragedy. Or maybe Gothic Horror would be a better comparison; mystery, Byronic heroes, returns from the dead, a doppelganger, even a Mad Tyrant. and me at the center, La Belle Dame sans Merci.” It was her turn to quote. ”I saw pale kings, and princes too, Pale warriors, death-pale were they all; Who cried—La Belle Dame sans Merci, Hath thee in thrall!”

Finn loved the sound of her voice. She made the melancholy words sound vivid and sweet as honey. The Beautiful Woman without Pity. The poem spoke of a woman with a cold heart. Is that how she saw herself?

“John Keats. Nice. Let’s see, I think I know some of that one. ‘I met a lady in the meads; Full beautiful, a faery’s child; Her hair was long, her foot was light, And her eyes were wild.’” Finn quoted “I’d say that’s fitting.” And it was true, that was Anna Devane to a T. Wild, untamable, and enthralling. “Although, I have to admit Keats sounds better with your accent than mine.”

Anna raised her eyebrows and lifted her teacup to salute him. “Impressive.”

“Don’t tell anyone. I might not have read Jane Austen but poetry is different. If I hadn’t been so interested in virus mutations, who knows maybe I’d be teaching survey poetry courses to bored college freshmen. Now, if I am understanding you, you are saying you are cursed. Is that a warning?”

“Cursed, I have felt that way at times. Robert and I had two chances at love and each time I almost died. And Duke, we loved each other so much but it wasn’t enough to get us through the consequences of his choices. And David, I know I don’t speak about him very often, but that’s because the pain of losing Leora is too wrapped up in my memories of him. Our love couldn’t survive that loss.”

“The pain of losing Reiko was something I wasn’t prepared for and it sent me down a dark path that I didn’t think I would be able to get away from. Even with Hayden, we loved each other but it wasn’t easy. But now, being with you feels like the most natural thing in the world. I can’t remember a time when I felt as...unburdened as the way I feel with you.”

“But being with me landed you in the hospital, got you held hostage, knocked out, and kidnapped.” Anna deadpanned.

“And I’ve never been happier. What about you? Are you happy, Anna? Do I make you happy?

Her cheeks bloomed red under his gaze. “Yes, you make me happy,” she said softly.

“Good. Sometimes there are things that I want to say to you, but I don’t know how to start. I feel like I just got you back. I’m not looking forward to being away from you again. I think the fact that I don’t know how long you will be away is the hardest part. I’m going to miss you.”

For some reason, his words took her by surprise. They were uttered with such tenderness that Anna felt all of her defenses shatter into a thousand pieces. Finn kept looking at her with a gaze of devotion that almost felt like a soft caress. Her heart was overflowing with feelings and emotions that she thought were long buried and would never be felt again. And yet here a pair of clear blue eyes were raising them from the dead. It was too much. 

Anna could feel tears forming in her eyes, brimming close to the edge. She felt one escape and with that, she could feel the dam break. She tried to blink the first few drops away before she left the table and rushed from the room. She made it as far as the living room before her tears began to fall in earnest. She tried her best to stop them but the more she tried to calm herself the more frantic her cries became. Her breath caught in her throat and she gasped between the sobs.

Finn was on her heels and his hand was on her shoulder. “Anna, are you ok?”  
“Yes... for the first time...in a long time I am...OK. And I don’t... know what to do with...this feeling.” she managed to speak haltingly through her weeping and she felt him move closer.  
Her words to Griffin echoed in her ears.

I’ve spent my life running away from things I should have been running towards and that’s because my life is dangerous and I want to protect people but if I protect them I’m removing myself from their company. I’m setting limits on love that aren’t mine to set.

Love.

“I feel...I feel…I don’t know... what to say…,” her voice wavered and more tears fell. Finn extended his hand running his fingers through her hair and his palm cupped her cheek. Anna leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. She took several deep breaths willing herself to regain control. When she opened her eyes again, Finn looked at her tenderly.

“Shhh...You don’t have to say anything. Listen, maybe the gods are watching us, but if we stay still and quiet they will grow tired and leave us alone. You don’t have to say anything. No one needs to know what you feel.”

His eyes bore into hers and seemed to declare his feelings without words as she desperately tried to do the same. The honesty she saw was almost blinding and she didn’t know if she could bear for him to keep looking at her. She attempted to pull herself together and summon the courage to speak. She could only imagine what she looked like to him. Her eyes were red from her outburst and she was embarrassed for coming apart at the seams in such a way in front of him. For Finn’s part, he was mesmerized by how beautiful she looked with her emotions rising to the surface.

Suddenly he wrapped his hand swiftly around her wrist and pulled her to him and up against his body. She felt firm arms wrap around her frame and pull her close. She didn’t fight it. She didn’t want to. Anna pressed her face into his neck and focused on the embrace that felt tender and comforting. Finn’s hands gently stroked her hair and made soothing sounds as he pressed his lips to her temple. She looked up into his eyes. Before she could say anything he pressed his lips against hers. She struggled to breathe as he kissed her repeatedly, her lips burning with the intensity of his caresses.

To Finn, she tasted of bergamot, black tea, and a taste that he was coming to recognize as her own. Soon Anna matched his passion with her own, her hands moved to his hair, her mouth tasting his. His hands moved over her back and waist making her feel undone. They barely made it up the stairs as they took turns pressing each other against the walls of the house a frenzy of lips and hands on skin. Anna pushed him hard against the wall making the pictures swing with the force. Finn was always amazed at her strength. He knew for a fact that she could take him down to the floor with ease and any resistance he made would be ineffective. The thought excited him, and if he was willing to admit, made him nervous at the same time. But at this moment all he wanted to focus on was craving lips and her nails digging into the flesh of his arms.

Anna reached to remove his tie. Her deft fingers loosened the knot with practiced ease from the time they had spent together as lovers. She pulled at one end and the navy blue silk slid from his neck and into her hand. His shirt came next. The desire to make the moment last slowed their pace. They finished undressing each other with care. They stepped over the pile of clothes on the floor then sat onto the bed.

Finn kissed her deeply and slowly pushed her to lie back into the mattress. He stopped to gaze at her silently and she merely held his gaze before pulling him down to her. Finn pressed a lingering kiss on her lips before moving to her jaw and traveling down to the dip at the base of her throat. Her body arched in response. Finn continues to explore her body slowly with his lips. He enjoyed the soft gasps that escaped Anna as she said his name. His hands traced the curve of her hips and he moved to settle himself over her. He didn’t leave her waiting long before their bodies aligned. His grip on her tightened as he felt her fingers rake down his back. They both lost themselves in each other and soon a blaze of pleasure swept through them. Finn relished the sound of his name being called out as hers was on his lips.

Exhausted from passion Anna felt Finn roll onto his back and then he reached to pull her to his chest. Comforted by the heat of their bodies, Anna’s eyes remained closed and all she was aware of was her own ragged breathing and Finn’s heartbeat. As her breaths slowed, the haze filling her mind dispersed. Her thoughts were cleared and she knew that she loved this man, even if she was still too afraid to say it. Perhaps he was right, maybe if she kept it in her heart they would escape the notice of the gods and they could remain like this happy and unharmed.  
Anna lifted her head and looked at Finn and he looked back at her with his usual adoration. He kissed her temple and pulled her closer. She felt safe and sound and put all thoughts of their inevitable parting out of her mind. She closed her eyes again and waited for sleep to take hold, her body and mind both contented.

Devane Manor, The Next Day

The pale light of a cloudy fall sky filled the room, softly filtered by the scarlet and yellow leaves of the maple tree that grew on the other side of the bedroom window. The sight of her made Finn pause. Anna was already awake and reclined in bed with her arms extended over her head stretching her limbs. She smiled at him and an instant of recognition passes between them. His chest tightened and his heart felt as if it was pushing against his ribcage. The pounding in his chest was so intense it was as if his heart was trying to escape its bonds. He slid closer wrapping his arms around her

“Good morning.” Finn’s voice was still husky from sleep. It vibrated under Anna’s skin in a comforting way.  
“Good morning.” She answered. Finn noticed that her accent became more pronounced first thing in the morning or late at night when she was sleepy. She reached for his hand, bringing it to her lips and pressing a firm kiss on the back of his hand. Her lips felt cool against his warm skin. Her mouth stretched into a smile against his palm and he was happy for a moment to have her safe and snug next to him before she went out into a cold and unpredictable world.  
Finn responded by tracing the line of the gold ring that always adorned her pinky finger with his thumb and then interlacing their fingers. The bright smile on her face dimmed for a moment. Her eyes studied him quietly, studied them, he suspected. Finn submitted to her scrutiny trying to convey with his eyes all that she meant to him. He ran his fingers over her left shoulder feeling along an almost undetectable depression in her soft skin. Whoever had treated her had done an impeccable job, touch was the only way that he could tell that she had been shot and that the bullet had entered and exited cleanly. The stitches had been immaculate and left no trace. 

Her body carried the marks of her profession. He did a mental inventory of all of the visible effects of her lifetime of danger. He was memorizing every speck of her. The thin white lines crossed her flesh here and there were knife wounds he was sure. If he looked close enough he could see a faint pinkness on the scalp along her hairline. Finn was certain that it was from a burn. And then there were her hands bearing scars of a different sort, needle pricks needed to control her Polycythemia Vera as if the outside world wasn’t treacherous enough her own body had to betray her as well.

Perhaps the best he could do was be prepared to mend her body when needed. He looked at some of the wounds with a doctor’s eye and thought he could have stitched them better. There was one on her inner thigh, raised and jagged. The placement of the scar and its appearance told its story to him. A deep splash of crimson, a belt or rope for an improvised tourniquet, a desperate push to stem the river of hot blood- too far from medical care, sutures were hastily sown in the field, maybe infection or fever followed. Finn wrapped his arms tight around her.  
Anna placed her hand on his cheek and pinned him with her dark inscrutable eyes. “You can’t worry,” she said sternly. She managed to remind him that she is capable and independent even while lying naked in his arms. But to ask him not to worry was the same as asking him not to breathe. She continued “I will be just fine. I have everything I need.” She stroked his cheek in tender consolation. He would do anything to keep her from harm yet it felt like she was the one protecting him. She always was.

His embrace tightened and he sighed contentedly. She turned in his arms and stretched herself slowly as if to prove a point, her body casually brushing against his. Finn groaned. His lips were already on her collarbone, his hands eagerly tracing her hip.

“I need to be getting ready. The car will be here in an hour to take me to the airport.”

“Then I promise to be quick. Well, quick but not too quick.”

“I need to shower.” she protested half-heartedly, she already knew where this was leading

“Perfect, I’ll join you and we will check two things off the list for this morning.”

“It’s a deal.”

An hour later Anna had her suitcase in one hand and her briefcase in the other. The car to take her to the airport was waiting out front. Finn reached to adjust the collar of her jacket.  
“Be safe.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her long, hard and thoroughly. When he broke away he found himself looking into brown eyes trying his best to paint the picture of her in his mind.

“I will. Please try not to worry.” She ran her gloved hand against the side of his face.  
“I promise to do my best.” Finn opened the door and stood to watch until the car pulled out of sight. He made up his mind to head to the hospital, the best way to keep from missing her was to keep busy and Finn intended to be as busy as he could until she was back safe in his arms. He hoped it would be sooner rather than later.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first kiss leaves Finn unnerved and Anna guarded. Finn decides he needs to clear his head.

Devane Manor, Port Charles

“Goodnight Anna. Don’t wait up.” Finn waited. He waited for her to say something, anything that would call him back into her arms and finish this dance they had started. He wanted to pick her up, carry her upstairs and spend the rest of the night extinguishing the desire that was burning through him. He just needed her to give him one sign that she wanted the same thing.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Her words hung in the air between them. 

Finn looked at her. He could still feel her on his lips. He could smell her on his collar. But she was unyielding. He nodded and walked out of the living room, leaving her behind. He thought he might have detected a hint of regret in her voice, but it was most likely wishful thinking. 

He put on his coat, grabbed his keys and walked out the door with no plan on where he was going. As he opened the door to his car he thought about heading to the hospital, but the thought of having to answer questions about why he was there or making small talk with the nurses was more than he could handle. Instead, he found himself driving towards downtown. The sidewalk was filled with shoppers bustling along the streets. The storefronts were filled with light and Christmas cheer and for some unknown reason, he was drawn to it. 

Wyndham’s Department Store, Port Charles 

Finn walked into Wyndham's. The store was crowded but being lost in the crowd felt like a relief. No one would pay him any mind, he was just another shopper among many. The hum of people mixed with the instrumental Christmas music filled the air. He walked past the artfully placed displays filled with mass-produced merchandise designed to make shoppers spend more money for the holidays. He picked up a pair of socks and then put them down. He held a scarf up to the light then draped it over a mannequin that was nearby. 

A stack of boxes caught his eye. He picked up an electric kettle from the pile and turned the box over in his hands. He read over the information printed on the packaging. It heats water in three minutes and could hold a liter and a half of water. This might be convenient. A practical gift. She could even keep it in her room if she wanted. He tucked it under his arm. He was suddenly struck by the absurdity of his situation. He had told her not to wait up and here he was buying her a Christmas present. 

Electric kettle in hand Finn began to make his way through the throng of shoppers towards the checkout counter. On his way, he walked past a glass display case and stopped when something caught his eye. It was a silver cuff bracelet. He stepped up to the case and peered in to have a closer look. It wasn’t like anything he had ever seen Anna wear but for some reason, he could imagine how it would look on her slender wrist. As he did so, an image of him kissing her palm flew unbidden into his mind. His heart began to beat a faster rhythm in his chest while his mind replayed the events of the evening. He had pulled her to him and he had done it. He had done the thing his mind wouldn’t let him stop thinking about; what he had imagined himself doing more times than he wanted to admit. He had kissed Anna Devane. And, he had kissed her long and hard. More importantly, she had kissed him back. 

“Can I help you, sir?” A small gray-haired woman was standing opposite of him. Her hair was cut short in a no-nonsense way and she wore a red Christmas sweater adorned with a wreath that blinked on and off. Her plastic name tag said Hello My Name is Carol. 

“Huh? Uh...no that’s ok. I was just looking…”

“Are you looking for a gift for someone special?”

“Uh..no! I mean...not that she’s not special. She’s very special she’s just not special to me...I mean she’s special to me just not in that way.” Finn wished he could disappear.

The clerk looked him up and down with what he was sure was equal parts pity and disdain.   
“Uh huh. You seem to be trying really hard to convince yourself of that.” 

“I’m sorry, we don’t know each other. I don’t think you know anything about my situation.”

“Listen, son, I’ve worked the jewelry counter for the last 20 years which means I’ve seen thousands of men walk through those doors looking for something that sparkles. I’ve seen thousands of couples shopping for rings thinking they are ready for a happily-ever-after. I can tell by the cut and size of a diamond if a relationship is going to work or not. They should just give me a PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy for all of the relationships I have helped repair with a gold pendant or the pre-marital advice I’ve had to dole out. Let me just say I’ve learned a thing or two over the years about what brings men to this counter.” 

“I know I’m going to regret this but what?”

“Men are at this counter for three reasons. Reason #1, they want to say they are sorry because they screwed up. You look like you could be a screw-up but that's not why you’re here tonight.” 

“Thank you, I think?”

“The second reason is that they think it will impress a girl. I’m going to take a guess that that is not your game either because you are looking at silver jewelry instead of gold, platinum or diamonds. You also are carrying a modestly priced electric kettle under your arm and the way you are dressed lets me know you don’t have to be cheap.”

“I’m not cheap!”

“I know, I just said that. That’s how I know you are here for the third reason.”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“You are looking at this case because you actually care about her. Something caught your eye and you wanted to have a closer look. You want to get something nice for this special-girl- who-isn’t-special-to-you.” 

Finn raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Here’s the thing though, kid, you need to come to terms with the fact that she is special to you even if you don’t want to admit it. It would probably make things easier for both of you.” She reached up and patted him soothingly on the shoulder. 

“How could you possibly know that?”

“Well, it would be easier if she was here too, then I could get a really good feel for your situation. But since I just have you, I would say you have got a case of the romantic feelings and you’ve got it pretty bad. So? When are you going to man up and tell her how you feel?” 

“If I buy this, will you stop psychoanalyzing me?”

“Only if you buy the two-year replacement warranty and get it gift wrapped. And if you open a Wyndham’s credit card you can get 15% off today’s purchase.”

“Deal.”

“Ok, Casanova, hand me the kettle and I’ll take care of that too.”

Finn paid and took his packages with him. “Thank you Carol. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.”

“I hope you grow a pair so you don’t have to spend your Christmas alone.” 

He practically ran out of the store.

Devan Manor, Port Charles

“You’re back?” Anna turned in surprise at the sound of the front door closing. Finn stood in the doorway with his hands in his pockets.

“Yes, I just had an errand to run.” 

He looked at the boxes and paper and ribbon that lay in disarray around the living room. 

“Were you looking for something?”

“Yes. I was. But it doesn’t matter I couldn’t find it.” 

Finn looked at her carefully. From the way she was chewing on the side of her mouth and pacing back and forth, he knew something was bothering her. She seemed to be filled with nervous energy but he didn’t think it had to do with him. Something must have happened but she wasn’t ready to share. He walked to the foyer to retrieve his packages and handed the largest box to her. 

“Merry Christmas, Anna”

“Finn, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know but I wanted too.”

She smiled and tore the paper from the box but looked perplexed when she saw the contents.   
“Thank you? But I already have a perfectly good kettle. The one over on the stove. I can just turn the burner on.”

“That’s true but I’m betting that you will like this one anyway.” He turned away to head out of the room. He didn’t think he had the courage to give her the other gift. He felt certain that Carol would have called him a coward and she would have been right.

“Wait! I have something for you too.” She smiled shyly, “Here.” 

She handed him a present he knew she must have wrapped herself due to its haphazard appearance. He carefully peeled back the tape and unfolded the paper taking care not to rip it as he opened it. He could tell Anna was growing impatient

“Oh for God’s sake just open the damned thing like a normal person.”

“Hey, It’s my present and I will open it how I want.”

The paper came off in one piece and he carefully folded it and set it aside. In his hands was a heavy hardbound book. Calfskin by the feel of it. It was old and worn by the look of it. No title was imprinted on the cover so he opened it. Printed on the page was Anatomy: Descriptive and Surgical by Henry Gray F.R.S.; Philadelphia: Blanchard and Lea, 1859. He looked up in wonder at her and found her eyes shining like stars.

“Is this what I think it is? This is the first edition of Gray’s Anatomy.” Finn was practically speechless.

“The earliest editions hadn’t received that title yet. I thought a doctor and surgeon such as yourself should have a copy. There are notations in the margins by a Dr. Winslow Brown, who used this book during the Civil War at Camp Dennison Hospital. Do you like it?”

“Like it? It’s incredible. Thank you. This means a lot to me.”

“I’m glad.”

He closed the book and held it over his heart and looked at her. 

“Well.” she said “Happy Christmas. I’d better get this place cleaned up and head to bed. It’s getting late.” 

“Wait! I have one more thing for you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the white box tied with a red ribbon. 

“What’s this?”

Anna opened the box and lying on a soft piece of cotton was a silver cuff bracelet. It was a larger piece of jewelry than she would normally have chosen for herself but its textured surface caught the light and sparkled in an appealing way. He had picked this out for her and she was touched. 

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” She said so softly he almost didn’t catch her words. 

Finn looked at her. She was bathed in the soft glow of the Christmas tree looking at his gift. The refreshing smell of fir filled his senses and the sound of the fire filled his ears. Anna was silhouetted by the light around her and he could see the shape of her dark in contrast. The quiet intimacy of the scene in front of him took his breath away. He felt what he could only describe as yearning. Finn had been mistaken. He did yearn. For an instant, he felt brave and he decided to not let the moment pass. 

He walked up to her and embraced her. Her small frame fit perfectly against his larger one. Anna relaxed against him, resting against his chest. He leaned his cheek on the crown of her head, the soft, silkiness of her hair kissing his skin. He felt her arms reach around his waist and clasp together behind his back. They stood together like that, content to hold each other until the clock on the mantel began to strike. It was midnight. 

Anna withdrew and Finn was certain he saw her hand hastily wipe under her eyes. 

“It’s late. We should probably call it a day.” She said in an overly cheery voice. She stood up straight and ran her fingers through her hair. 

“We probably should. Goodnight Anna.” Finn walked over to pick up a stack of towels that were still piled on one of the chairs in the sitting area and walked up to his room. A few minutes later she heard her door close across the hall. He was certain that she would get just as much sleep as he would tonight. 

The next morning a groggy Finn came downstairs to find the electric kettle out of its packaging and on the counter, already filled with piping hot water. He grinned at the sight of it and pulled down her favorite cup and saucer, opened a packet of earl gray tea and set it to steep. When Anna entered the kitchen he handed it to her and she set it down to let her cup cool while she moved to start his coffee brewing. 

Anna picked up her tablet and he instinctively handed her her glasses. They sat down at the kitchen island while she read over the WSB’s overnight notices. For his part, Finn picked up one of the patient files that he had brought home with him. Anna even read bits and pieces out loud since the security clearance was low enough. Her questions about this or that virus and how it was transmitted that she asked as she read made Finn wonder about the state of the world but he tried not to dwell on that. As she picked up her teacup and lifted it to her lips Finn saw the glint of silver on her wrist. Anna raised her eyes to his and smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After pushing Finn away, Anna is adjusting to life on her own again with mixed results. Can an adversary turn into a confidant?

The MetroCourt, Port Charles

It was the emptiness that drove her from the house. It used to be filled with life, companionship, and conversation but now nothing but the sound of her heels clicking on cold tile echoed throughout the cavernous halls of her empty home. It felt as if the beams, the painted walls, and the glass windows were pressing down on her. 

Since Finn had exited- no, been pushed from her life, the high ceilings and ample bedrooms just served as a reminder that space served just one solitary soul. Being alone in her house had never bothered her before, but that was before she had shared it with another person, unusual circumstances notwithstanding. Now the silence was deafening and Anna felt like a trapped animal despite the sizable square footage of her cage. 

So she fled. And this is how she found herself staring at the entryway of the MetroCourt. She chastised herself. Why would she come here of all places? She refused to admit the truth, that she secretly hoped to run into a pair of clear blue eyes. And then, when she does, she will wonder why she chose to torture herself in this manner. A wave of hot regret washed over her as she looked across the crowded dining room and saw him seated next to Alexis. Anna told him she didn’t want him. The lies that were needed to keep the ones she cared for safe were always difficult to bear. And God knows she’s had plenty of practice.

Finn watched as Anna walked in and took a seat at the bar. It had been quite a while since they last saw each other, not since Anna told him that Alexis wouldn’t be stepping on her toes by pursuing a relationship with him, the sting of which is still present. But it was true, her toes looked just fine.

She looked smart in her blue silk blouse and black pencil skirt. Finn mused on how she was always full color in a sepia-toned world. Their eyes met for a moment, she turned away first. Finn continued to look at her, he couldn’t help it. He wished she would turn around one more time so he could see her face. He wondered if she could feel his eyes on her because she seemed to be doing everything in her power to avoid his gaze.

Alexis took a glance behind to follow his stare. She rolled her eyes when she saw what caught his attention. She should have known. She turned back to him and decided it was best to address the impeccably chic elephant in the room straight on. 

“Do you want to go say hello?” She asked. 

“What? Ah...no. That’s not necessary.” 

Alexis looked at him from the side of her eye but decided to just move on. “Ok, fine, I’ll let it go at that. Will you be stopping by my place later?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. I think I’m going to head to the hospital to go over some of my patient files before tomorrow. I have a heavy schedule this week.”

“I also have a heavy caseload this week and court most of next. It’s probably best. But, can I buy you lunch tomorrow?”

“It’s a date. Let me walk you out.”

Anna watched as Finn helped Alexis into her coat and kissed her on the cheek before they walked out of the room. She sighed deeply, seated herself on a stool and crossed her legs. She tapped a staccato on the underside of the bar with the pointed toe of her boot. The bartender took notice of her and approached to take her order.

“What can I get you?”

“Scotch on the rocks. Actually, make it a double.”

Once the drink was set before her she picked up the cool glass and raised it to her lips to take a sip. Anna felt the comforting burn of the scotch in the back of her throat. She raised her glass to the light and looked at the amber liquid shining inside. She then tilted her head back, drained it and set it down on the bar. The clink of the glass against marble was sharp to her ears. She signaled for another.

“Anna?” 

Anna closed her eyes in irritation. She knew who addressed her without needing to look. Great, she thought, as if this day wasn’t already a disappointment, she knew it was about to go even further downhill. She didn’t turn her head to him but just stared at bottles of high-end liquor lined up on the back wall of the bar. 

“Valentin,” she said cooly and took a deep gulp of her second glass of whiskey. 

“Shouldn’t you slow it down a bit.”

“What are you, my mother? I’m a grown woman and I’ll do as I please. Go away. I really am not in the mood for one of our tete-a-tetes.” 

“That may be, but I was supposed to meet Nina. She’s running late. So while I wait why don’t I save you the embarrassment of drinking alone.”

“I’ve never needed saving from anything,” she said cooly turning away from him. 

“Fair enough. But I don’t usually see you tossing back scotch like it’s last call. Is something bothering you?”

“No.,” she said morosely, her fingers traced a pattern in the condensation of her glass.

Valentin removed his black leather gloves and laid his coat on the back of the barstool before he settled himself on it. Anna finally glanced in his direction. There he sat, tailored, elegant, aristocratic. And treacherous, she added to herself. The bartender stepped forward to attend to his new customer. “Can I get you something, sir?” 

Valentin picked up the wine list and scanned it quickly. 

“Yes, I 'll have a glass of the 2012 Château La Gaffelière. Thank you.”

“That's a good year.” Anna acknowledged. 

“I know it's a good year. It's Nina favorite so I make sure that the MetroCourt has it available.”

Anna picked up the cardboard coaster from under her drink and turned it over in her hands.

“The 2012 Château Margaux is better. The La Gaffelière has too many fig notes, making it heavy. The Margaux is bright with a raspberry undertone that is the right balance of tart and sweet.”

“That's your opinion,” he retorted.

“That's the opinion of people who have taste.”

A muscle worked in Valentin’s jaw and he gripped the stem of his glass tightly. He looked at her nonplussed but he couldn’t fault her assessment. The Margaux was the better choice but he would never admit that to her...or to Nina.

Anna sat back and eyed him critically. Valentin always found that look unnerving. Her ability to cold read him was uncanny. Valentin felt exposed and vulnerable under her cool gaze. On one hand, he was fascinated by her insight, on the other he resented her for it and he felt his anger rising. He worked to control his temper. He couldn't put his finger on why her inscrutable gaze could be so infuriating. His vexation was as cold as marble, filling the air with palpable tension. Valentin was used to making people feel threatened or apprehensive but, Anna merely looked at him unconcerned and uncowed. 

“You must have nothing better to do if you are going to sit here and let me insult your palate.” Anna could see the daggers in his eyes and it amused her. 

“Well, one thing we learned at the Academy is that there is lots of intelligence that can be gathered over the course of an alcohol-soaked evening.” His tone was curt but he had centered himself.

Suddenly, Anna smiled and set her glass down. She clapped her hands together with glee. The abruptness of her change in demeanor took Valentin by surprise and he almost sent his wineglass hurling to the floor. He was able to recover in time and set it down.

“YES!,” she exclaimed. “WSB Rule # 24: Never give up an opportunity to get information meant for someone else's eyes or ears. Oh! That was one of Sean's favorites. He used to drill me on those, you know. For hours on train rides and flights on the way to a mission. I bet I could recite all 156 if I thought hard enough.” She looked at the ceiling as if beginning the recitation in her heard. Valentin raised his hands to stop her.

“Well, please spare me the performance,” he said dryly. “What brought you here tonight? I doubt it’s nostalgia for the WSB days. Something else has you drowning yourself in a bottle of scotch. What could it be? Perhaps I saw the answer to that question as I was walking in. I see that Dr. Finn and Alexis are now an item. What happened? I thought you and Finn were...close.”

He looked at her with a smirk. He could read her too. 

“Well, that shows you what you know.” Anna slumped back into her seat and proceeded to swallow another mouthful of scotch, then another.

“So who decided to end it?”

“End it?” She said with a bitter edge to her voice. “We never even began. It was better that way. The farther away he is from me the better for his well-being.”

Valentin looked at her critically. “If I’m going, to be honest-” 

“But you're not honest.” Anna looked at him pointedly. She could practically see the steam rise from him at her words. “Anyway, continue.” She waved her hand to prompt him to resume his sentence.

Valentin’s eyes narrowed at her interruption. His bruised feelings rose to the surface, a churning dark tide he could not control. 

“I see the game you are playing- leave him and make him want you even more. Ever the predator playing with your prey.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Finn has moved on. I’m sure I’m barely a footnote in the course of his life.”

“Stop. It's unbecoming.” He was in no mood for her games.

“What?” She asked insistently. He looked at her and read genuine non-comprehension in her eyes. That took him by surprise. All he saw was a pure curiosity at his words. This fascinated Valentin.

“Is it possible that you really don’t know? I thought it was just false modesty at best or insincerity at worst, but maybe you really don’t know.”

“What are you going on about?” Anna’s temper was being roused from its slumber. She had no patience for these sphinx-like exchanges that Valentin was so fond of.

“You. The way you are. The effect you have on men. Whether it's by design or not you make an impression wherever you go.”

She narrowed her eyes and shot him a withering look. She dismissed his words with a wave of her hand. Valentin forged ahead.

“Let’s examine things for a moment. Robert Scorpio, a career agent, and notorious womanizer married you three days after your first introduction and planned to leave the WSB behind to run away with you. Question. How does that happen?”

The inquiry took her unawares and Anna started. A voice in the back of her mind was reminding her that loose lips sink ships, but the scotch in her system was making her feel warm and comfortable despite the company. The image of a sandy-haired Australian standing in the warm Italian sun filled her mind. Anna smiled to herself at the memory. 

“Dear Robert, he always thought himself so clever. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he realized I had rescued the hostage and completed our mission on my own while he was asleep. And his surprise when I detonated an explosive I’d set on the DVX car that was pursuing us...” She chuckled softly to herself at the memory.

“I’d say that is not a conventional boy-meets-girl scenario.”

“Maybe not. But Duke was different. We met at the Policeman's Ball. That’s a conventional enough setting.”

Valentin folded his are and looked at her. “Why were you there?”

“I was the Police Chief at the time and receiving a commendation for solving a string of murders. Duke asked me to dance.” Anna knitted her brows together in thought. “Actually, I had his close friend arrested and threatened to have him arrested too.” 

Valentin raised his eyebrows at her and was satisfied when she looked away, her cheeks flaming.

“And weren't you married to someone else at some point that wasn’t named Lavery or Scorpio? How did that start out?”

“Been memorizing my dossier, have you? Should I be flattered? Let’s see...David. I held a gun on him and, uh, he caught me breaking and entering his hotel room. I thought he was heading up a drug ring. I bugged his medical bag so I could track him.

Valentin shook his head at her sarcastically. “And they say romance is dead,” he deadpanned. “And what about Dr. Finn?”

“Maybe I blackmailed him...a little bit.”

“Well you’re not forgettable, I’ll give you that. Scorpio even went after you a second time.”

“I might have tied him to a post with my stockings.” She said under her breath, but not low enough to escape his notice. Valentin sputtered into his wine glass

“But, to be fair, he was into it.” She looked at him directly and unapologetically. Valentin felt a tightness at his collar that made him want to loosen his tie.

Valentin regarded her for a moment, debating whether or not to share a memory that still haunted his dreams. Perhaps the Château La Gaffelière had made him nostalgic as the scotch had done for her. His features softened as he recalled a time long past when he was a different man altogether; a different name, a different face, and a different temperament.

“I remember the first time I really noticed of you. When we were at the WSB Academy. I found you the common room with a first aid kit and a very nasty cut on your hip. You had a thread and needle and were trying to stitch it up yourself.” 

Anna grinned. Her smile dazzled, “I forgot about that. I was trying to find the location of a DVX safehouse. I found it and got a knife slash for my trouble.”

“You were out past curfew on an unsanctioned mission, and you refused to go to the infirmary because you didn’t want to be punished. You asked me to help you. So I sewed the sutures. If anyone found out, you would have been suspended at the minimum. And, you begged me to keep your secret. We became friends after that.”

Valentin doesn't tell her how the shape of her silhouette against the fire is burned in his memory. How the iron-rich smell of her blood, mingled with the smell of antiseptic is imprinted on his senses. As is the sound of her sharp gasp as the needle weaved through her skin and how she took a swig from the bottle of whiskey she had pilfered from God-knows-where, to dull the pain a bit. She had told him of her adventure with the flair of a gifted storyteller. He had never seen anyone more alive than her at that moment.

Anna’s voice broke into his memories. “It didn’t matter. Agent Scheider found out anyway. I thought I was in the clear, but I got hauled in and dressed-down anyway. I never did figure out who turned me in.”

Valentin paused a moment, debating his next words. But he looked at her out of the corner of his eye to gauge her response, then forged ahead.

“It was me.”

“You? Why?” He registered genuine shock on her face. She had never suspected him, just as he had intended. The sincerity of her response made him feel like he owed her some sort of explanation.

“I thought it would ground you for a little while. Keep you around the Academy more.”

She considered his reason for a moment, looking at the ice in her glass as she swirled it around and around. She set it on the bar and caught the bartenders eye and signaled for another.

“You know, I should be angry with you, but actually I think I should thank you. Sean was there when received my “court-marshall” so to speak, and by the end of it, I was fast-tracked into fieldwork. He personally oversaw my training regimen from that point on. That's how I ended up meeting Robert. So in some way, I have you to thank for all the best moments in my life and, in equal measure, some of my worst.”

“Well, we're even then. You are responsible for some of my worst moments.” Valentin’s eyes gleamed grimmly. 

Her eyes glittered back at his words and she was more amused than insulted by them.

“Oh, I don't think you'll ever let us be even. You’re too competitive.” She reached out and poked him solidly in the chest with her finger.

“Ouch.” he couldn't help saying and rubbed the tender area briskly.

“Oh, come on that can’t have hurt. You’re growing soft.” Anna's eyes lit up as an idea broke over her like the sun after a storm. 

“Do you want to arm wrestle? I bet I could beat you,” she said loudly.

She placed her elbow on the bar and Valentin spied the bartender looking at her with interest. One hard look from Valentin sent him scurrying away to make himself busy among the glassware. Valentin scanned the room to see how many heads were looking in their direction.

“No, Anna I don't want to arm wrestle.” Valentin took a moment to mentally add up how many drinks he had watched her consume over the course of their conversation.

“You're no fun.” She huffed and crossed her arms.

“Sorry if I disappointed you, but the last thing I'm going to do is arm wrestle you in the middle of the MetroCourt.” 

“It's because you know I'd win.” She took another drink and then leaned in closer to him. Her chin resting on her hand. Her eyes were half-lidded and she lowered her voice to a gentle tone.

“You know what? It’s too bad you are so despicable because we could make really good friends, you know? There are very few people that have sacrificed the way we have or can understand what it was like to operate in a world of lies and deceit. You made a Faustian bargain. You traded a crooked body for a crooked soul. It's a shame.” Her words came out breathy and heavily accented. The scent of scotch heavy on her lips.

“What a compliment,” he said dryly.

“I mean it, Valentin. I might not agree with you- let's be clear, I never agree with you, but I do think I understand you. Does anyone else really understand you?” Her eyes glowed softly and all he found himself trapped their depths.

Like a grotesque inversion of Dante's Divine Comedy, she is Beatrice but rather than leading him to Heaven, all she is doing is leading him to his Seventh Level of Hell. He knew if he continued to follow she'd leave him there with no guide to help him back.

Anna stood up, the world swam around her and she sat back down. She stood up more slowly steadying herself with her hand on the bar. Instinctively, Valentin reached to steady her, grasping her by the wrists.

“Whoa, easy there. Ok, I think you have officially had enough. Bartender put Ms. Devane’s drinks on my tab and I’ll take care of the bill.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Anna laid her hand on his lapel and angled her lips near his ear. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his neck. Valentin swallowed and his mouth went dry.”

“What?”

“I think you could be a really good man, you know? It’s in you. You just have to know when it's the right time, to tell the truth. Lies need to be told sometimes, I know that, but a good man knows when to be honest. Please. Be good, Valentin.”

Valentin grimaced and gripped her wrists tighter. Her words rankled and he looked at her ready to lash out at her taunting. But when he viewed her, he saw no malice or mocking in her dark brown eyes. Valentin looked at her in surprise and she smiled slightly. For a moment he saw the woman who had been his friend looking at him. She appeared vulnerable, tired…and sad. 

He could smell her perfume and the warmth of her palms almost scalded him through the fabric of his shirt. He felt a sharp pain as if something was piercing his heart, which was soon replaced by a dull ache. Here she is, and here he is. And she’s telling him how to be the man she wants him to be. It enraged him and humbled him. A part of him wishes he could be better for her, but, dammit, she made him this way. He wondered if she could unmake him just as easily. 

All of a sudden, he felt her stagger ever so slightly. He was about to ask if she was alright when Anna’s hand gripped his shoulder and her other hand came to rest on his forearm. Valentin reached an arm around her waist to keep her upright. Why, after all this time, could he not shake her hold on him. She was a vortex and he always let himself get too close even though he knew the danger. For years the image of her had possessed him. She was Demeter the Lawbringer and he, Erysichthon, cursed by her with an insatiable hunger. The craving for both validation and vengeance consumed him and could never be sated. Desire like that swallowed the soul and left a man starving.

He heard a soft buzzing noise and realized it was his phone. He looked at it. It was Nina. He knew he should answer it, but here he was holding Anna in his arms. She was an enigma that he will always want to unravel. A puzzle he will always want to solve. 

“Merde.” he cursed under his breath.

“Language, Valentin.” Anna giggled. 

He looked at her in surprise. Giggling is not something he heard very often from Anna Devane, and by not often, he meant not since their academy days. “Oh, dammit all to hell!” he cursed to himself.

He released her wrist and with an impatient jab of his finger, he sent the call to voicemail. He then put both his arms around Anna’s waist to support her. Damn her. Bless her. He didn’t know which to do, but this was his lot in life. Anna Devane would always command a piece of his soul. He just would have to make sure it was not the lion’s share.

“Alright Anna, I think you have had more than enough for tonight. I’m going to help you get home.

“I don’t need your help.” She protested. 

“ No more arguments. My driver will be at the front waiting.”

He helped her into her coat and Anna leaned heavily on his arm as they made their way to the entrance of the hotel. Valentin helped situate her in the back seat of his car and after a moment's hesitation slid in next to her. Classical music reverberating through the car, she leaned her head against the window, her face pressed to the cool glass. Feeling herself descend into slumber, Anna shook her head and sat up straight, letting out a sigh.

“Sleep, Anna. You'll be home soon.” Valentin said calmly.

She shifted herself and rested her head on his shoulder. He worked very hard not to look at the chestnut locks that brushed his coat. He wondered if there was a cure for a slip of a woman who could charm, punch or shoot her way out of any situation.

During the drive, he took care not to wake her. She needed sleep. He knew she was dealing with her own personal demons that night, and he knew his role in them. If only she was right, that he could be a good man, but she didn’t know the extent of his sins. And with any luck, she would never know. Never know the depth of his betrayal.

When they reached her home, instead of waking her from a deep slumber, he scooped her into his arms. She would reprimand him if she knew. She stirred in his arms and mumbled, “Finn, please don't go...I'm sorry,” and his jaw tightened as he gritted his teeth. He walked to the front door and with some careful balancing used her keys to open the front door. 

Devane Manor, Port Charles 

The sound of a key turning the tumblers of a lock and the sight of the handle moving brought Finn’s attention to the front door. He felt a moment of relief. Anna was finally home. His sojourn at the hospital had been brief. The sight of her at the MetroCourt had made him long for the opportunity to talk to her. There were so many things he missed about her. He found himself on her doorstep and rather than wait in the cool night air for her return, he put his key to use. He didn’t know why he had held onto it. Maybe because that would have seemed too final, even though he knew her decision had been final. But then again, she hadn’t asked for it back either.

Finn quickly made his way to the foyer but was shocked by the sight that greeted him. Valentin Cassadine was carrying Anna in his arms, her head nestled on his shoulder and her arms slung around his neck. She appeared to be unconscious and a sudden panic in his chest swelled and engulfed him as all of the scenarios of how she got into this state flashed rapidly through his head. 

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER? Did you hurt her? Put her down!” Finn yelled.

Valentin bristled at the unexpected insinuations that were being hurled at him by an equally unexpected intruder. He adjusted his grip on Anna’s sleeping form and turned to face his accuser.

“What did I do? I brought her home. She overindulged on liquor tonight and was in no condition to get her here herself. She fell asleep on the way and I'm just trying to get her inside. Now, excuse me!”

Valentin walked past Finn, cutting close enough to make him take a step back. Valentin laid Anna gently down on the sofa, tucked her hands under her cheek, reached for the throw blanket that lay on the back of the couch and placed it over her. Once his task was done he turned towards Hamilton Finn. They stood facing each other, both rigid with anger.

“You can go now. I'll take care of her.” Finn gestured dismissively towards the door.

Valentin scoffed derisively, “You'll take care of her? You’re the reason she's in this state. People like Anna don't lose control very often. And why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with Alexis since you relinquished your claim to Anna? You know, for a doctor, you think you’d be less of a fool. You had an opportunity with a person of Anna’s caliber and you blew it.”

Finn sought to keep his temper. “For the record, I didn't blow it. It was her idea, not mine.” 

Valentin’s voice dripped with disdain, “Well, that just shows me how weak you really are. You don't even know how to fight for a woman, just how to let them walk away from you, isn’t that right, Dr. Finn? Is this bad luck or is it becoming a pattern?”

Finn's hand tightened into a fist. He felt like he wanted to punch something and if that something happened to be Valentin’s smug face, he felt it would be worth the risk to his surgeon's hands. But then again, why use fists when words can pack just as much of a punch. Finn took a step closer, just an inch or two into Valentin’s personal space and was gratified to see him lean away ever so slightly. 

“Listen, Anna is a grown woman and she makes her own decisions. If one of those decisions is to not be with me, then I will respect it even if I don’t like it. Because that is what a mature person does. They respect the decisions of others instead of treating them like a commodity. Which, you know, speaking of things you treat like commodities, shouldn’t you be with your wife? Or has your obsession with Anna made you forget about her?”

Valentin’s lip twitched almost imperceptibly and his eyes narrowed. Finn saw a look that borderlined on murderous in his eyes.

“My wife has nothing to do with this, you son of a bitch.”

Finn knew he struck a nerve and couldn’t help the self-satisfied smile that crossed his face. It was probably a dangerous game he was playing but knowing that he could push Valentin’s buttons was a good feeling. 

“I know why I’m here. How about you? Maybe you could tell me a thing or two about having a thing for Anna.”

“I don't have to explain anything to you. Listen, I’m someone who knows a thing or two about addiction and whatever this fascination you have with Anna shares a lot of the same qualities; tolerance, withdrawal cravings. It’s all there. You need to let this go. There is nothing for you here!” Finn’s voice grew louder. 

“I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS FROM YOU!”

“HEY! Can you both keep it down? I’m trying to sleep.”

The sound of Anna calling groggily from the sofa interrupted their standoff. They both turned their eyes to her in surprise. They both had forgotten she was even there. She still lay on the sofa, eyes closed and a sofa pillow pulled over her head.

“You can keep fighting just do it a little more quietly, yeah?” her voice muffled from the pillow.

Sudden she sat bolt upright. It must have been too quick for her because she placed her head in her hands for a moment before remembering what she wanted to say.

“I know! You can arm wrestle! That way you can settle your disagreement.” Valentin looked at her with exasperation. Finn just looked confused. What was it about imbibing too much alcohol that brought this up? 

“But fair warning Valentin, Finn's arms are...just...wow.” She giggled and tried to stand. Finn bolted to catch her when he saw her waver on her feet. It was just in time and she collapsed against him. “Oops!” she exclaimed.

Valentin watched as her hand curled around Finn's upper arms and she smiled at him with a look of guileless adoration. Finn, for his part, appeared to be scanning her form for any signs of distress or injury. She reached to smooth a lock of hair away from over his eye. At the sight of the caress, Valentin felt darkness descending into the far recesses of his soul. The only solace he could take was that her heart was on display and he knew she would hate herself for it in the morning. 

“I'm done here.” Valentin turned and stalked towards the door.

“Grrrreat!,” Anna slurred. “Can you turn out the light on your way out?...It's so...bright.”

Valentin stopped and flicked the switch to the living room leaving only the light from the foyer to illuminate the room. The slam of the door, strong enough to shake the foundations of the house, confirmed his departure.

Finn set about caring for Anna. He got her settled back on the couch. He felt it was best to keep her downstairs for the time being. He retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen and set it on the coffee table within her reach. He roused her enough to get her to swallow an ibuprofen and take a sip of water. He kept encouraging her to drink until the glass was empty. When she was finished she smiled and rested her hand on his cheek.

“I miss you. But shhhh…dodon't say anything. You can't know, ok?” 

Then she was out like a light. He brushed the hair back from her face and his fingers lingered there. He missed her too, but he knew she would forget this all by morning and they would remain in the same state they were now in, looking at each other from a distance. Finn remained long enough to pull her boots from her feet. As he headed for the door he took his key to the house from his pocket. He set it on the foyer table. It was time to let it go, let her go. He looked at it for a full minute before picking it up again and placing it back in his pocket. Finn closed the door softly on his way out. He left determined to call and check on her in the morning.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna wakes up in her Berkely hotel room with Finn beside her. What does this step mean for them?

The Doubletree Waterfront, Berkeley California 

She awakened slowly, like emerging from a pool of water. Her limbs felt heavy, and her heart was experiencing what she could only explain as an emotional hangover, the effects of which she knew would linger. The conversation with Robin had drained her until she felt empty and depleted. Anna opened her eyes briefly, then shut them again taking a moment to get her bearings. She was lying in bed in her hotel room although she couldn't remember when she fell asleep. She was naked. And she was not alone. Her head was pressed to Finn’s chest; her arm splayed across his body. She didn’t know how much time had passed, but a quick glance at the window told her it was still late in the night. She listened to the sound of his heartbeat and felt the soft rise and fall that accompanied his even breathing. A slow smile crept across her face as she recalled the events of the night before. The banter, the double entendre, him showing up on her doorstep, limbs tangled together in wild passion. It all flooded back in a torrent of mental images.

Anna raised her head to get a better look and found herself reaching towards his face. Her hand hesitated, her palm hovered inches away from his face before she finally touched his cheek. Her fingers lingered briefly before she brushed away a loose strand of hair. She could do that now, all she wanted she realized. There was no need to restrain herself from touching him now. 

Anna sat up and swung her feet off the bed and onto the floor. She felt the touch of soft cotton and she reached down to retrieve the item at her feet. It was Finn’s black tank top. It must have fallen there after she pulled it over his head and discarded, it in her hurry to have access to his body. She felt warmth blossom on her cheeks as she remembered the feel of his skin against hers. She held it up and breathed in the smell of him. On impulse, she threaded her arms through the openings and put it on. It hung loosely on her small frame, but she felt comfortable wrapped in his clothing. 

Anna was too awake to try and rest again. Standing in the middle of the room she felt her heart racing, pulsing against her rib cage wildly. There had been so many sleepless nights, too many to count, wishing she could curl up in his arms and be lulled to sleep by his steady heartbeat. Now that the dream was her new reality, she was held awake by a nearly unbearable lightness of body and soul. 

She crossed the room and drew back the curtains, taking pains to ensure he stayed surrounded in shadow. She stood, looking out at the twinkling lights of the marina. The hulls and masts of the boats illuminated in the darkness by the lights on the docks. She pondered for a moment. Ships in the night, that’s what they had been to each other these past few months. She needed him, and he wanted her, but they had sailed on their courses, moving farther and farther apart. And then she had almost capsized, drowning in a sea of regret and despair over choices made so long ago, a lifetime ago. When she thought all hope was lost, Finn folded her into his arms helping keep her head above water. 

She had tried to push him away, thinking that with time and distance she would be able to lock her feelings away. She hoped the affection she felt for Finn would wither and vanish. But, she underestimated the power of her own heart. It refused to let him go, no matter how much her mind told her it was for his own good. And, he always refused to go anyway.

She heard sounds of stirring and then she could feel him behind her. His arm wound around her waist and pulled her close. His other hand brushed the hair from her neck and moved the strap of the tank top from her shoulder so he could lay his lips there. She shivered with delight as he nibbled at the sensitive skin. She leaned back against him; eyes closed, reveling in the sensation. He sighed happily as she responded to his touch and sunk into his embrace. Finn’s hands slid over the curve of her hips to caress her thighs. Together they swayed back and forth gently mirroring the movement of the boats in the waterfront before them. There was so much to be said, but Anna didn’t know where to begin so she waited and hoped he would be the brave one.

“Now that we are finally here together I don’t want to let you go.” 

“You don’t have to,” she smiled and closed her eyes, while she enjoyed the feel of him wrapped around her.

“Good,” he spoke softly into her hair. “Anna, I wasn’t sure we would ever get here.”

She turned to him, and she could feel his a gaze wash over her, warm and comforting. She traced a pattern on his chest and moved to caress the line of his jaw, feeling the roughness under her fingertips. Then she raised up on the tip of her toes and gently kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I know,” she whispered against his lips, “so much time wasted because I kept pushing you away.” Anna held his hands in hers. “I’m sorry for that.” 

“That’s over now. We will just have to make up for lost time.” Finn reached around her and slid his hands down her back to grip the underside of her thighs, and lifted her up till she was at the level of his hips. Anna gasped at the sudden change in elevation. She looked down into his eyes and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. She crossed her arms around his neck and curled her forearms around the back of his head, pressing her body against his. 

As if in slow motion, their mouths moved toward each other and came together.  
Soon they were drunk with the taste of each other. Finn broke his mouth from hers for a gasp of air, then moved his lips along her jawline and down her neck. She could not contain the moan that escaped from her lips. Their bodies strained toward each other. He moved to pin her against the hotel wall. With one arm he supported her hip, his other forearm cushioned the length of her spine while his hand cradled the back of her head.  
Gravity increased the friction between them. Held off the ground, Anna could do nothing except wrap herself more tightly around Finn and hold on. With a quick fluid motion, they were together.

”Oh god, Anna..." Finn buried his face in the dark softness of her hair, his lips brushed over her earlobe before settling once again at her collarbone. He was pleased to hear the sharp intake of breath in response. Anna was coming apart at the seams. She abandoned herself to the feeling, forgetting everything that had come before and whatever might happen after. All she could focus on was her increasing desire for him as she gave him free rein of her body. Her appetite had only been sharpened by their months apart. To Finn, she felt incredible. His whole body was set aflame by the feel of her. He could feel her hands moving across the muscle of his back, encouraging him to continue his exploration of her. Anna’s soft gasps joined his huffs of exertion, quickening until finally she could not keep quiet and called out his name. The sound of her voice urged him on until her name was on his lips. The room was filled with the sound of their ragged breathing in the aftermath of their passion.

Exhausted, Anna hung her head over Finn’s shoulder, and her hair fell in front of her face. She could feel his body quake from the effort to remain upright. He released her, and Anna slid to the ground on shaky legs. She leaned against him, and he held her, kissing the top of her head.

“Is it ok... to admit that I've... wanted to do that since New Year’s?” he panted. 

“Only if it's ok to admit I've wanted to since Christmas,” Anna fought to catch her breath.

They laughed together while Finn took her by the hand and led her over to the bed. He pulled back the covers so she could lay down and settled himself beside her so he could look into her eyes and take in her beautiful smile. Anna pillowed her hands under her head and enjoyed her view of his beautiful baby blues. 

“So what happens tomorrow? When we are back in Port Charles?”

“I suppose we will be together. I hope, with no reservations.” 

“And Alexis?”

“I never wanted to hurt Alexis. I thought it would be best to try and move on from you. That was an idiotic move on my part.” 

“I deserve my fair share of the blame in that. She gave me plenty of opportunities to remedy my mistake, but I was stubborn.”

“Can you say that again?”

“That I'm stubborn?”

“No, that pushing me away was a mistake.”

“Hmmmm...what if I just say, ‘I'm happy that we’re together.’ Would that do?”

“I suppose it will have too.”

“We should probably try to sleep. We have an early flight, and you will owe me breakfast. I have a feeling I'm going to be ravenous tomorrow.”

Finn moved closer and placed an arm on either side of her. His body hovered over hers. “What if I told you I'm ravenous right now.”

She arched her body up against his and bit her lip. “Then, I'd say we would need to do something about that. I guess we could always sleep on the flight home.” She pulled him down so his body was pressed flush against hers and she reached to stroke his hair.

“You have the best ideas.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas time in Port Charles and Anna and Finn prepare for their first holiday as a couple. What could possibly go wrong?

Dasher & Dancer’s Christmas Tree Lot, Port Charles 

“I want a really tall one this year. What is the point of having such high ceilings if you don’t get a tree to match them?” Anna reached to shake snow that covered the prickly riot of green bows in front of her. The crisp, sharp smell of evergreens filled her nose, awakening her senses. She thought about the contrast between the peaceful snow-blanketed world she now found herself in from the hot humid vitality of Cuba. The only thing the two locations had in common was the man who stood next to her. The man she loves and who loves her. She presses her lips and together and smiles at the sentiment.

“Do you like Noble firs or Douglas firs?” Finn helped her bat the snow away so she could have a better look.

“I like a tree with a lot of fullness. I have a lot of ornaments.”

“Alright let's check out the Fraser firs then. Do you want it flocked?”

“Mmmm...no it always gets everywhere.”

“How about this one?” Finn pulled a large tree from the fence and held it up for Anna to inspect thoroughly. He turned it slowly so she could see it from every angle.

“It's got a bit of a bald spot in the back.”

“Ok this one?”

She shook her head and looked around her.

“Are there any taller trees?”

Finn pointed to a magnificent one in the center of the lot. It stood at least 14 feet tall and its limbs stood out proud and full from its straight trunk. It was perfect.

“There's that one but how are we going to get it to the house? It's not going to fit in the car.”

“It doesn't need to. I came to this lot because they will deliver. I should have done this sooner but with the wedding, the manhunt for Obrecht and Havana it was off my radar.”

“Well at least we'll have it for your party.”

“Our party.”

“I'm pretty sure It was your idea. So it's your party”. She rolled her eyes at him but she recognized the teasing in his voice and the look of mischief in his eyes. 

“I happen to feel like there is a lot to celebrate. What better way than with family and friends?”

He smiled. “What do we have to celebrate?” 

“A successful mission. New Beginnings. Us. Love.”

“There's that word again. And you said it first this time.” Finn mentally added a mark in his favor. Of course, he and Anna had started an unspoken game to lure each other into saying the L word first each given day. He wasn’t sure who was winning and it didn’t really matter but he played just the same. 

Anna pulled him by the lapels and kissed him soundly. She was had almost forgotten how much easier the trials and tribulations of life could be born when wrapped in the love of another. Anna was relearning how to love and be loved in return. 

“Hmmm, so you won't make out at the hospital but Christmas tree lots are fair game?”

Snow began to fall and Finn loved the way the soft delicate flakes clung to her hair and eyelashes. He reached to make sure that the scarf at her neck was keeping the frostiness at bay and kissed her forehead gently. Her cheeks bloomed pink in the winter air. Anna Devane was enchanting at all times but especially so winter.

“Mmm...you nose is cold.” she nuzzled hers against Finn’s cheek.

“So is yours. Since we've picked out the perfect tree maybe we should go home and get you warmed up. I don't want you to catch a cold.”

“I like the sound of that. But how do you suggest we do it?” 

“Maybe a warm bath, followed by a warm bed? You know they say the best way to increase body temperature is skin to skin contact.” Finn took her hand and kissed her gloved fingertips. She chuckled and rose up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Her eyes were shining.

“I think I'm ready to go home. And I'll drive.”

Devane Manor, Christmas Eve

The kitchen is perfumed with the smell of citrus, vanilla, cinnamon and star anise from the wassail that was warming on the stove. Anna was busily setting out the crystal punch glasses.

“There is so much that still needs to be done. I haven’t even started wrapping the party favors yet.” She rubbed her hands on the front of her skirt and began mentally running through the checklist of items that needed her attention. 

“Well pause a moment and give this a try.” Finn handed her a glass filled with deep amber liquid, it shone almost crimson in the light. She took it from him with a smile.

“Happy Christmas!” she toasted and clinked her glass against his. Finn delighted in watching her take a sip. Her eyes fluttered closed as she savored the taste on her tongue. “Mmmm,” she said and to Finn, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. He was grateful that some of her cheer had returned. Yesterday had been a blow to her there was no doubt about that. He had listened to her as she raged in her frustration at Obrecht’s latest escape from justice and he had held her as her anger gave way into bitter tears of disappointment, mostly aimed at herself. She has cried for Robin, for Emma, for Duke, for Robert, for Peter and all the others she had failed to protect. Finn had held her tight and soothed her when she was receptive. She had collapsed exhausted in his arms and he had hoped that sleep would be a step in the right direction. He was pleased to see her the next morning in a much better state of mind. Once her emotions were purged she seemed to rally, determined to enjoy as much happiness as she could muster. 

“So what’s your deal with Happy Christmas? Is that a just a Brit thing?”

“Not just. Happy is an emotional state, while merry is a behavior. Happy Christmas expresses a wish for well-being and caring which is the spirit of the season whereas merry is something you can be with a drink in your hand and nothing else. It’s impersonal. Happy Christmas is warm and intimate.”

“Well, I disagree. ‘Merry’ does have connotations of merrymaking, which is something traditionally associated with the communal feasting. Which I believe this dinner qualifies as.”

“Well, it’s my party, my greeting.”

“I thought this was our party.”

“And I thought you didn’t like parties.”, she countered. 

“I’m finding that there are a lot of things I like if you are involved. Dancing for one, that wasn’t so bad. Especially since I got to do this.” He reached and pulled her close. He breathed in the smell of her hair and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist before kissing her deeply. She accepted his kiss and sighed in appreciation. Her hands slid up his lapels before she pushed him away with a laugh. 

“Finn, we need to focus on getting ready.” 

“There are other things I’d like to focus on.” He moved to reach for her again.

She giggled and evaded his grasp, staying just out of reach. “Now is not the time! Besides, the tree should be delivered soon, yeah? We are still going to have to decorate it before everyone arrives.” 

“What time is it supposed to arrive?”

“I don’t know? What time did you arrange the drop off for?” Anna looked at him quizzically.

“Me? I didn’t arrange anything?” Finn answered, confused.

“At the tree lot. I went to get the car and you ordered the tree. I saw you talking to the lot attendant.” A faint flicker of panic was starting to fan into a flame.

“He was complaining about a rash on his hands so I took a look. I don’t think it was contagious, just a pine tree allergy so I recommended him to an allergist to have it looked at. I thought you had already taken care of the tree.” Finn shrugged helplessly.

She slapped him on the arm. “Well, this is just great. No Christmas tree for a Christmas party. And there’s no time now! How could this have happened?” She put her face into her hands trying and groaned. How to fix this? She couldn’t begin to sort it out.

“Listen I’ll figure something out. You go finish up in the kitchen. Don’t worry about the presents I can get those figured out in no time. Wrapping is sort of my thing.” 

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Finn, she picked up a plastic snowball ornament and threw it at him. 

Finn grabbed his coat and walked out the front door of the house. He had no idea what he was going to do. So he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around. The stately trees that lined the walkway to the house were too large to be of any use. Anyway, he couldn’t begin to fathom the grief he would get from Anna if he cut one down. He surveyed the neighborhood and something caught his eye. He looked up and down the street before trotting across to get a better look.

 

***************************************************************************************************

“I found us a tree!” He held out his hands triumphantly. He was holding a two-foot tall conifer in a pot. He ran his hand over it to fluff the scrawny branches and more than a handful of needles fell onto the floor. Anna looked at it and him out of the side of her eye.

“Ok, I’m not sure that qualifies as a tree, it’s more like a bush. And where did you get that? Wait a minute- that looks familiar. Did you steal that from the neighbor’s porch? Tell me you didn’t!” 

“Hey, compared to the duplicitous actions I have been encouraged to perform by you over the last year did you really think that tree theft was beneath me?”

“So international espionage is a slippery slope to petty theft is what you are saying?” 

“You said we needed a tree for this party so the end justifies the means in this case, wouldn’t you say? Besides Tom and Terry aren’t even home for Christmas. They are visiting family in Vermont.” Anna opened her mouth and stared at him then closed it again. Sometimes you just have to let things go she thought.

“Fine, set it on the table over there and I will try to get some ornaments on it. Maybe this is the Christmas tree I deserve this year.” Finn set the tiny tree down and nudged the large box of ornaments with his toe. He would have to put them back in the attic. He turned to see Anna massaging her temples as warding off a headache. The look of her all flustered and discombobulated tugged at his heart. Something about this woman tied him in knots in the very best way. 

“I stole something else while I was over there.” Finn produced a sprig of mistletoe tied with a red ribbon from his pocket. “We missed out last year.” He walked over to her and held it above her head. “Did you know that in Victorian times as man could request a kiss from a woman who was under the mistletoe and it was bad luck to refuse. They would remove one of the berries for each kiss and once they were gone all of its kisses were used up.” 

“Maybe that was the problem with this year. I had bad luck because you didn’t kiss me under the mistletoe.”

“A mistake I will never make again.” Finn tilted her face upwards and placed a kiss sweetly and tenderly on her lips. They lingered in the moment before the broke apart and returned to the task of opening their home to family and friends. Come hell or high water it would be a happy Christmas this year.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected letter from Hayden leaves Finn reeling. Anna encourages him to explore his feelings, no matter the cost to her own heart.

MetroCourt Hotel, Port Charles

“So what are you going to do?” Anna asked softly, looking at him questioningly. The setting sun had given a warm glow to the room. The light filtered through the window and it was reflected in her dark eyes, eyes that he knew were searching his face for signs of what he was thinking and feeling. She was trying to read him. 

Finn looked at her. He almost couldn't bear the look in her eyes, so full of compassion and concern. There was else there too that he couldn't describe, almost a sadness that seemed rooted somewhere deep in her soul. What was he going to do, she was asking? What was there to do? His mind was reeling, caught somewhere between the present and the past but a pair of brown eyes, shining like gemstones, had brought him straight back to earth. At this moment all he wanted was to remove that heartbreaking sadness from them. He wanted her eyes to smile again. Her hand was still in his, fitted perfectly in his palm and he squeezed it in what he hoped was a reassuring way

“Listen, I don’t need to do anything right now. There is no more to really say about it today. Thank you for being here with me. What I want to do is forget about the letter for a moment and just be with you. I want to focus on us.” 

He touched her hair then moved it aside so he could clasp the back of her neck. He pulled her to him, wanting to kiss her lips into a smile, but Anna placed her hand on his chest and turned her face away ever so slightly. 

“What is it?” He pulled back in surprise. Anna patted her hand gently over his heart, she could feel it beating under her fingertips before she turned and took a step away. Her eyes fell on the bed. Earlier at the hospital, she had delighted in the idea of taking him back to this room and using her body to sooth away the difficulties of his day. But then Curtis had arrived with Hayden’s letter and now that seemed unwise. She quickly turned and moved to look at Roxy, warming herself in the terrarium. How Anna wished for a moment she could be like her, oblivious to everything other than the small narrow life she lived, insulated from the harshness of the world. 

She could feel him watching her. Anna desperately needed to avoid his gaze, but then her eyes were again on the white piece of paper lined with Hayden’s feelings and her request for him to join her in Rome on the Via Veneto. A request the significance of which Anna knew too well. Once, years ago she had inserted herself back in Robert’s life, unwelcome and unbidden. Yes, the circumstances had been different but his world had been shaken nonetheless and once the dust had cleared Robin’s existence had shattered it anew. She had been selfish, not thinking of Holly or the life he had built. All she had wanted was for Robert to listen to her, to understand her choices, to understand what she had done out of love. Hayden was asking for the same chance.

“Finn, you have had a difficult day. Between the school presentation and this letter, your mind must be in a hundred different places right now. And I don't want to be another distraction.”

“What are you talking about? You are not a distraction.” 

“I am if I keep you from really considering Hayden’s words. You loved her, you should think about what she said. Like I said before, I’m not threatened by it.” She willed her eyes to not betray her. She picked up the letter. If felt thin and fragile in her hands. She found it ironic that something so delicate could push through their bubble like a wrecking ball. 

“Finn, I think I know what this moment is like for you. I wouldn’t be fair for me to stand here and command your attention when your time should be spent honestly examining your feelings. To that end, I think it makes sense that we place a little bit of distance between us. Just temporarily. I am going to be busy over the next few days with my matron of honor duties and that should give you some time to process Hayden’s request. Maybe by the wedding, you will have some clarity” 

“Anna, I don’t understand…”

“Finn I care about you but I don’t want us to be together just because we both had a bad day.” She turned and looked him directly in the eye and she saw him flinch ever so slightly at her words. She instantly regretted it and reached out her hand to him. He folded her hands in his and she squeezed them reassuringly. 

“I’m going to leave you alone for a bit. We have Jordan and Curtis’s bachelorette and bachelor party later so I’ll see you there, yeah? And remember, you have to be a gracious loser when we beat you, ok?” She ran her hand down the side of his cheek and placed a wide smile on her face hoping it would set him at ease. It seemed to work because he smiled back.

“We’ll see about that.”

“Alright then. I’ll see you later.” Anna winked and gave a little chuckle. Finn ran a hand through his hair and nodded. He grasped the handle and opened the door for her.

“I’ll see you later, Anna.” 

She gathered her coat and her purse and reached to touch his face once more before she walked out. Finn stood looking at the closed door long after she had gone.

 

Port Charles Museum of Mayhem

Anna could see him across the room amid the falling confetti and cheers. She felt alive with adrenaline coursing through her veins. It was a feeling she never could get enough of. She smiled widely and gestured to herself in a congratulatory manner while mouthing “Winners. That was us” rather than attempting to shout over the din of the room. Finn shook his head and smiled broadly. She walked towards him laughing with a gloating look on her face while he shook his finger at her in disagreement. Without thinking, Anna walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. Finn chuckled and reached to brush her hair off her shoulder. His fingers made contact with the bare skin at her collarbone and he felt a spark pass between them. Suddenly Anna remembered her plan to give him space. She swallowed and took a step back. Five minutes in his presence and her plan was already going off the rails. She steeled herself and folded her arms in an effort to create a physical barrier between them. She turned to survey the room. The love and excitement between Jordan and Curtis were palpable. She was glad for their happiness. 

“I think they had fun,” Finn said, his tone light.

“Yeah, I think they did.” 

“How are you getting home?” 

“I rode here with Jordan, but Maxie offered to drop me off.”

“Can I take you home?”

“I'm not sure that's the best idea. We agreed that we should take some space to process Hayden’s request to see you in Rome.” 

“You decided that for the both of us.” She looked at him quickly before turning her head away.

His voice softened. “Come on, let me take you home. Please.”

Anna looked at his eyes brimming with tenderness and she wavered.

“Ok.” she heard herself say.

Finn brought the car to the front of the building and she avoided Jordan’s knowing look as she got it. The car moved soundlessly through the empty streets of Port Charles. Anna was silent, focused on the passing lamps, each a streak of golden light, making the journey seem like a dream. She knew Finn was watching her, but this too felt like a part of the dream. A fitting end to what had turned into a surreal and perplexing day. What a difference 24 hours had made.

I have a wonderful life. Nothing’s missing. I have you, I think.

His words puzzled her. He had had her from the moment he pulled her to him and kissed her. How could he not know that she was his? But then, she knew why, didn’t she. It was because she was too afraid to tell him. Too afraid to let him know that he sits in a place in her heart that is reserved for no one else. A place he has elbowed and pushed his way into even when she had tried so hard to keep him out. 

Anna realized she had grown accustomed to his presence in her life. Why she kept denying the depth of her feelings she couldn’t say, but then today a letter, read aloud and pressed into her hand, made the reason clear. She had been holding her breath, and her heart, waiting for the earth to open up underneath them and for happiness to be snatched away. It always was. Would she ever be able to live and love without needing to look over her shoulder? No, she never would.

She wanted her love to be genuinely received not mistaken for an attempt to keep him or to guilt him into staying. Anna Devane will not beg to keep someone who doesn't want to stay. So she needs to let him go. Let Hayden lay her unfinished business at his feet and then, universe willing, he will return to her with the past behind them. And she would have to run the risk of him not returning. The thought caused an ache in her ribcage that made it hard to breathe, but she pushed the feeling down as she was so practiced at doing.

They had arrived at Anna's home in no time and she was awakened from her contemplation by the quiet that fell over them when the engine was turned off. She moved to open the door. The evening chill made her shiver and only now she noticed how warm the inside of the car was. She turned to look at Finn, but he remained seated, looking back at her, not wanting to exceed her permission. He had kept his word and escorted her home. But as the invasive cold air continued to wrangle with the fleeting warmth, Anna was reluctant to leave.

She felt a flash of panic. What if this was it for them? It could be the last moment before Finn went to reclaim the future he had wanted so desperately only a short time ago. It had been Hayden that he had been longing for when she had first found him alone and brooding in his hotel room. That life was open to him again and Anna knew that she would have to live with the fact that she had been the one to encourage him to revisit it. 

“Can I come in just for a minute. Just so we can talk?” 

She felt she should say no but looking at him made realize how reluctant she was to be alone at this moment.

“Yes,” she answered. 

Finn responded with a kind of half-smile. He got out of the car and was swiftly at her side, offering his hand. Anna hesitated for a second, but then let her hand rest in his as she stepped out onto the pavement. His thumb gently brushed over her skin and he held her hand in his. Even though she had been trying to place distance between them she couldn’t bring herself to pull away.

They walked into the house together. Anna could just feel the warmth of Finn’s hand at the small of her back as he helped usher her inside. He paused by the door for a moment as if trying to make up his mind before he took off his coat and hung it up in the hall closet. He headed towards the kitchen while Anna set down her purse and shed herself of her coat. 

There was a chill in the air. Her house while large and stately did have a tendency to be drafty as well. She walked over to get the fireplace going. She spied the cashmere throw on the back of her sofa and reached to pick it up. She slung it around her shoulders and gathered it under her chin. It was a poor substitute for what she really wanted which was a pair of strong arms and a warm body to lean into. 

Finn returned with her favorite teacup filled with hot water and a packet of chamomile tea on the saucer. She took them and gave a little smile before setting herself on the sofa. He was concerned about her. He always gave her chamomile when he was worried about her health or her well-being. Anna wondered if he even was conscious of it. He sat down next to her and draped his arm across the back. He didn’t touch her but he was close enough that if she leaned back just a little more he could have. He was letting her dictate their proximity. 

Here before her was a man who worried about her heart. Anna had guarded that heart carefully and spent the last three years trying to mend its breaking structure. But her heart had always had a mind of its own, rather ironic, considering her rational nature, and no amount of time could ease its pain, only caused the cracks to deepen. He somehow that has managed to fill the holes, making it strong again. And yet still she can’t tell him that she loves him.

“Will you take Hayden's offer to meet? She's asking you for a second chance, do you think you should hear her out? Know why she left?”

“I’m not going to lie. If I had gotten this letter a year ago I might have been on a flight to Rome in a heartbeat...but now? Anyway, it doesn’t matter what she has to say. There is nothing I need to hear from her.” 

“I'm afraid You're deflecting. Like with your father.”

“My father? What does my father have to do with this?”

“Avoiding rather than confronting your feelings. You'd rather just say you've moved on than examining the situation. You loved her. You didn't want her to go. If she had stayed we would not be here together like this. There would be no us. I can't ignore that Finn and neither should you.” 

“Anna…”, he began but she interrupted

“Your world was rocked today with a letter and mine was too. Finn I don't want to be the one you settled for. You thought she was the love of your life, you wanted to marry her, to raise a child with her..” 

“None of that mattered. She still left. Those were just dreams that I had to set aside.”

“Finn, I've also seen what the memory of love can do. It can turn a human being with all their flaws into a romanticized version of themselves. A sacred memory that becomes more and more removed from reality as time passes. The hurt and pain they caused fades until only the best parts of them remain. All the good times and what-might-have-beens crowd everything else out. I know this from experience.” 

Anna set her teacup down and the clink of china sounded loud in the room. She stood up and moved to the fireplace. Anna leaned her head on the hearth and worked to control her emotions. It wouldn’t do either of them any good to dissolve into a mess of tears even if she was certain it would help relieve this terrible ache in her breast. She would not draw him to her side with pity.

Finn cornered her by the fireplace, she could have pushed past him but his body loomed over hers, firelight casting shadows on his face and his eyes reflected its brilliance. He took her breath away for a moment. Finn slowly reached his hand out and caressed the side of her hip and with the other, he cupped her face and leaned in towards her. He was close, so very very close.

“Anna, I know we both have faced pain in our past, but I want to be with you, now, in the present. Let me. Please.” 

His breath was warm on her cheek and Anna closed her eyes trying to summon her to resolve. The smell of him was as intoxicating as she knew the taste of him to be. She tried to put on the mask of icy indifference but her breath betrayed her. She inhaled and exhaled in a rapid and ragged manner that kept pace with the desire that flamed inside her. Despite her efforts to contain it, the tension seemed to wind tighter and tighter between them. His mouth hovered over hers. She knew if he kissed her she would be lost. Suddenly she summoned all of her strength and slipped past him. 

“And I do want you Finn, but not like this. Not now when you have so much to think about. Please, just listen to me. Like I said before, Jordan and Curtis’s wedding is two days from now. We both have a lot to think over. I think we should. We’ll see each other then and hopefully, things will be more clear for both of us.” Somehow she managed to keep her tone even and calm, not betraying the disarray of her mind. She felt as a single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek and she quickly turned her back to him hoping he did not see the dampness on her cheeks.

Finn’s hands fell to his sides and he placed them in his pockets. He took a deep breath and nodded. He would do as she asked. 

“Alright. I'll see you at the wedding. Goodnight Anna.”

“Goodnight.” She bid him farewell as they walked towards the door. She opened it for him. Finn turned and looked at her with the same heartfelt stare he did before. With a final glance, he was gone. Anna was able to close the door before the tears fell.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Anna insisting that they spend a few days apart in the wake of Hayden's Letter, Finn turns to a friend to talk through his feelings and gain perspective.

The MetroCourt, Port Charles

Finn sat in the dark. He had watched as the shadows in the room had grown longer and longer until there was hardly enough light left to cast them. He was perched on the chair that occupied the corner of his room at the MetroCourt with his head in his hands.

Anna had asked him to consider Hayden’s words and he was doing just that, however, his mind was distracted. His thoughts kept wandering back to her, wondering what she was doing. Was she thinking about him? He felt that she was. He realized this was the longest they had been apart...by choice anyway. They had spent the better part of a year at each other's sides in one way or another. He took a moment to indulge in the memory of kissing her in this hotel room the day after he had declared his feelings for her. They had finally stopped denying that there was a bond between them, one that refused to break.

Deflecting, that's what Anna would say he is doing and he conjured up in his mind the scornful look she would give him if she knew that she was occupying his thoughts rather than Hayden’s request to meet in Rome. But he had made himself relive every memory of Hayden: her illness, her recovery, the way she felt in his arms, the unconventional proposal, her nervous energy that always seemed to fill the room and invigorate him, the last time he saw her. He felt exhausted from the effort and worn out from the flood of tears that he couldn’t keep in check. He looked at his phone. Any moment he expected to see dates and times on his screen. But so far there had been nothing.

To be honest he was no closer to coming to a conclusion on that front that he had been when he first read Hayden’s words. Finn still didn’t know how to process the fact that she had reached out to him after all this time. He looked over at the piece of paper folded on the bedside table next to him.

Finn picked up the letter again. He had left it untouched for the first 24 hours of his exile, but now it was growing dingy from all of his handling as he had read and re-read it so many times that he could recite it verbatim. Sitting next to it was its companion, another letter also creased, tear-stained and worn around the edges. It was the first one Curtis had given him on the day he realized Hayden was truly gone and she was not coming back to him. He knew that one by heart too. Tucked inside it was something more precious, a grainy image of a tiny life, one that was gone too soon.

Before him sat these two correspondences, one that shattered his world into a million pieces and one that was asking for the chance to repair the damage. The words of both rose into his mind and tumbled over themselves till his head felt like it was spinning.

I am setting you free.  
I hope you find someone worthy of your love.  
Forget Hayden Barnes ever existed.  
There was a complication. The baby didn't survive.  
I’m sorry for running away.  
I should have trusted in you. I should have trusted in us.  
We have unfinished business.

He alternated between being moved by her words and angry at them. He had wondered if she regretted her decision. That was one unanswered question that he had and now he knew that she did. That was satisfying somehow. What nagged at him was the fact that her letter held only her own desires and no attention was paid to where he was in his life. Perhaps she assumed his world had stopped and started with her, that he was a dragonfly in amber. That was like her, impulsive, self-focused and leaving context by the wayside. He read her words again.

Rome. The Via Veneto.

Finn had wanted to leave Port Charles behind and travel to some unfamiliar corner of the world, but it had been Anna who he had planned to sit next to while watching the world pass by. Even Detroit would be enchanting with her wit and charm by his side. But they hadn't gone. Her job was demanding and he knew would take her away from him often. A small taunting voice sounded in the back of his head told him that Anna was encouraging him to leave and meet Hayden because he was mistaken about the depths of her feelings for him. He pushed the thought aside.  
Finn stood up and stretched his limbs, sore from remaining in the same position. He walked to the bathroom and regarded himself in the mirror. The face that stared back at him had dark circles under the eyes and hair in disarray. He looked weary and threadbare. And no wonder, he hadn't slept. He didn't sleep well when Anna was away and his insomnia had been exacerbated by all of the thoughts crowding his mind.

Finn felt like he was going mad. He passed his hand over his face. The room felt impossibly small and he felt like he was suffocating within the tight confines of his quarters. He needed an escape from these memories. He grabbed his coat and headed out the door.

General Hospital, Port Charles

“Here are the charts for your next appointments. I'm so glad you decided to come in on your day off. We are all swamped. With Dr. Monroe still on suspension, all of the appointments are backed up for weeks. You are really helping us catch up.”

Elizabeth Webber laid a stack on blue binders on the counter in front of him and Finn reached for the closest one to him. He opened it at quickly looked over the information. He was glad to be looking at something other than hand-written words. He was glad to be in the hospital. The soft beeps of medical equipment and the gentle murmur of patients, doctors, and nurses going about their day were soothing. This was just what he needed.

“No problem. I'm glad to be here.”

“So Mr. Haskins is in Room 110 he's been complaining of dizziness. And Mrs. Rodriguez needs her blood work explained to her. It looks like she is anemic. She also loves to argue her diagnosis with doctors. She likes to internet research her symptoms so be prepared for a lot of print outs. Good luck!”

Elizabeth turned and began to walk down the corridor. He watched her go and from behind he was struck suddenly by the how much she resembled Hayden. Unexpectedly, Finn found himself calling out to her.

“Hey, Elizabeth?” 

She stopped and looked at him questioningly. “Is there something else you need?”

“So, uh, I heard from Hayden. I thought you might want to know. I don't know if you two are in touch.”

Elizabeth tilted her head to the side and looked surprised.  
“No, I haven't heard from her but I didn't really expect to. It's been a long time now since she left town. How is she?”

“Uh, she seems good. She's out there trying to find herself it sounds like.”

“So why is she reaching out to you after all this time?”

“Oh uh, she said she wants to see me. She asked me to meet up with her. She said that she thinks we have some unfinished business”.

“Oh, that would be just like her.”

“Why do you say that?”

Elizabeth smiled ruefully. “Well, Hayden always had a knack for making things about her. Whether she meant to or not. Thinking of what she wants without taking the time to see where you are in your life first. It's probably a hard habit for her to break.” There was no malice in her voice. The two of them had been able to put aside their differences and that was something Elizabeth was grateful for.

“I hadn’t thought about it like that. Maybe you're right, well I just wanted to let you know I heard from her and she seems to be doing ok.”

“Thanks for the update, Finn. It sounds like you have a decision to make. I wish you well on that."

She turned and walked towards the nurse's hub. Before she had gotten more than a few yards away Finn, called to her again. He trotted behind. He needed to know something.  
“Hey! Elizabeth wait. I have a question for you. Do you think we could have made it work? Hayden and me?”

Elizabeth stood in thought for a moment and she seemed to be wrestling with her thoughts as if there was a tug of war happening, pulling her mind this way and that. She walked back and leaned against the hospital wall. She was too preoccupied with looking at her shoes to meet his eye.

“I'll be honest, Finn, that's a tough question. Hayden loved you and I think that she really did want a life with you, but if I'm going, to be honest, I think, no matter what, Hayden was always going to be a flight risk. It just seemed to be in her nature.”  
“But once all her secrets were out she wouldn't have needed to run anymore. Even though we lost the baby, she would have had me. We could have grieved together. I can't help but think about what might have been if she had stayed. Maybe the baby would have been ok and we could have been a family together.”

Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ear and folded her arms in front of her. Finn knew she was trying to figure out how to put her thoughts to him delicately.

“Finn, a baby always creates a bond between people but that doesn't mean that's enough to keep them together. And believe me, I know that better than anyone. Hayden has a difficult past and insecurities that run deep. You have no way of knowing if she could have gotten past all of that even if the baby had survived.”

“I had my own share of problems and she helped me out of my dark places.”

“But that doesn't mean you could save her from her dark places. Sometimes love isn't enough no matter how much we wish it was. There needs to be trust, and commitment there too.”

“I think what drew me to Hayden first was her fire and outspokenness. I thought she really understood herself as a person which was more than I could say for myself at the time. But the more I knew her the more I could see that it was a charade. She was just trying to figure it all out herself. But I loved her for that. I guess she is still trying to find herself. I’d like to think that I’ve finally figured out who I am”.

“Finn, do you still have feelings for Hayden?”

“You see that’s just it. I’ve been asking myself that over and over. And every time the answer that I come up with is that I really wish we could have had that life we planned. The house, a family. I had a lot of dreams for us.”

“I don’t want to...diminish your dreams, but I am a realist. Life has made me that way. Dreams don’t always translate into reality. When I thought I lost Lucky all I could think about is the life I wanted us to live and how heartbroken that I was that we would never have that chance. And then he was back and I thought we could just pick up where we left off. But it was different. Him being with me again didn’t translate to a happily-ever-after for us. And we even share a child together but we still aren’t a fairytale. Do you get the point I’m trying to make?”  
“I do. Anna said something similar. That sometimes our memories can hold on to the good and we forget the bad.” Suddenly, Finn realized what he had been mourning was not the lost past but the lost future. Not what had been but what could have been.

“Well, Anna’s right. Speaking of which, what about the two of you? You have been able to move on and you and Anna look happy together. I don't think I've ever seen you smile this much. Or her either.” 

The thought of Anna’s smile brought one to Finn’s lips. “Anna is probably one of the most courageous people I've ever known. It was difficult to move on after Hayden but she pulled me out into the world whether I thought I was ready or not. I’m sure there was a lot of talk about us around here at the hospital. I hope it didn't seem like rebound after Hayden because that’s not how I see it.”  
“Finn, I don't think anyone could consider Anna Devane a rebound. She's probably as close as a person can come to dating a superhero in real life.”

Finn chuckled “That's fairly accurate actually. She is the one that is encouraging me to talk to Hayden. That’s just the thing...I think that I'm sure of her and what we mean to each other, but what if I'm wrong? Anna doesn’t need anyone, but sometimes I feel like I might need her. It scares me you know, being vulnerable again.”

“Well, It sounds like maybe you are in love, but aren’t ready to admit that yet?”

Finn opened his mouth to react put no words came out.

Elizabeth raised her hands up in defense, “Listen, I just call ‘em as I see ‘em. And to be honest, If you and Anna are in love I like to think I might have played a small role in that.”

Finn looked surprised. “What do you mean?”

“When you were here in the hospital after that drug overdose, Anna practically haunted your room. I could tell that was more than just a professional concern. She was really scared for you. I could see then that there was a connection between you two and I encouraged her to follow her feelings and to take her chance for happiness. Life is too precious to waste time being apart from people we care about.”

“It took a while for her to take your advice”.  
“Much too long! I lost the nurses pool on when you two would get together by a long shot. Brad won." Elizabeth started to laugh and she was happy when Finn started to laugh along with her. 

"Look, I’ve known Anna for a long time now and yes, she is a complicated woman, but she feels strongly and she is fiercely loyal. I have to say I’ve never seen her light up like she does around you and to be honest I haven’t seen you like this before either, not even with Hayden. I know loving her was not always easy and I know she broke your heart. Maybe it's time to let it heal and Anna seems to be helping you do that. And as for Anna, I think you are healing her too.”

Finn took a moment to consider Elizabeth’s the things that she had shared. Then Hayden’s words floated to the surface of his mind.

I know you will find love again and I just hope that woman, whoever she appreciates how truly special you are and how lucky she is to have you.

At that moment a fog seemed to clear from his mind. Finn realized that he had found love again and it was Anna Devane, the woman who found him charming where others found him irascible, who laughed with him, protected him and most importantly the woman who said she trusted him with her life. Elizabeth reached out and placed her hand on Finn’s shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze.

“Finn if you are curious about Hayden and her motives and it will help you put the past behind you then you should go see her, but if you feel like you've closed that chapter maybe don't go looking for answers you don't need, to questions you didn't ask.”

Finn nodded. “Thanks for the talk I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, don’t mention it. We were almost family for a minute there and Robin and I are so close that Anna feels like family too. I was able to be there for her and Emma when they thought they lost Robin. Her happiness matters to me. And so does yours. Now go check on those patients before they come out here and yell at me”.

“Aye, Aye Nurse Webber.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the wedding day of Curtis and Jordan, Anna tries to keep Finn and the choice in front of him from her mind. Jordan offers her own advice and an apology.

All Saints Chapel, Port Charles

“Oh Jordan, it's beautiful!

“Thank you. As soon as I put it on, I knew it was the one.” 

Jordan stood next to Anna and wound her arm around her waist. She smiled as she leaned her head on her shoulder. Anna returned her embrace and sighed as they stood looking at the frothy concoction of ivory satin and tulle that hung on the back of the dressing room door. 

“If only finding the right man was just as easy.” Anna deadpanned, she then broke into laughter that echoed through the stone walls of the church.

“Isn’t that the truth!” Jordan laughed in return.

“I’m glad you wanted to get here early before the rest showed up. We haven’t had much time to spend together lately. I’ve been more of an absent friend of late I'm afraid.” said Anna apologetically.

“Anna, I think we both have had a lot on our plates. Me with a murder investigation and you taking down international drug cartels, I’d say it was a busy year for both of us.”

“That is true. It’s been a very eventful year.”

“But the best friendships are the ones that stay strong even in absence. I couldn’t think of anyone else I would want standing next to me while I marry the man of my dreams.” 

“Awww,” Anna hugged Jordan even tighter, “if I had a drink I would toast to that.”

“We have champagne for later.” 

Anna broke away and walked forward. She reached out and touched the hem of the dress, tracing the edge of it delicately with her finger. The early morning light streamed through the window and illuminated the gown, so it shimmered radiantly, brightening that corner of the room. The sight of it made Anna feel wistful, dredging up memories of warm Italian days, gray Scottish afternoons and a beautiful rose-filled garden under a blue sky. She remained lost in thought, taking a moment to honor the ghosts of her past. 

“You know, it makes me think of my wedding dress, I mean my second dress. It was more like yours, a big proper wedding dress. Not like my first, that one was very simple and given to me. And the less said about my third dress, the better. I mean the dress was lovely, but the hat could have used a rethink. All-in-all that's probably more dresses than one person should want to wear in a lifetime.”

“You must have been young when you first got married.”

“Oh, God yes! Impossibly young. But in the WSB I felt like I had lived a lifetime by the time I was 20. By that age I had a full career, married, divorced became a mother and had to...to retire, I guess is the best way to describe it. By the time I fell in love again and married Duke I felt practically middle-aged even though I was still in my twenties.” 

“Well look at you now. I'd say you've found a way to turn back the clock because you and Finn are more like lovesick teenagers than the wise and jaded grown-ups you like to pretend you are.”

Anna blushed.

“I don't know about that.” 

She stood up and folded her arms as if to ward off the chill in the room. Anna walked over to the boxes of bouquets and flower arrangements that had been delivered from the florist, fiddling with the ribbons that bound them. She was working hard to keep Finn from her mind but was failing spectacularly at it. Anna didn’t know what choices he would make and that was the crux of her dilemma. How could she accept Finn’s affection, revel in his presence when she wasn’t sure of him. 

She hesitated to fully hand him her heart because in the back of her mind she could not forget Hayden Barnes. She was making herself miserable, but not half so miserable as she would be if one day she read hunger for another woman in Finn’s eyes, or regret a chance not taken. Someone was going to suffer over this, one heart would be left out, and if it proved to be hers, then she would hold her head high and bear it although she felt tired and soul-sick if she dwelt on it too much.

Jordan noticed the change in her friend’s energy and looked at her with concern in her dark eyes. 

“Anna, how are you doing, really? Curtis told me about the letter from Hayden.” 

“It was a shock for Finn, yes.”

“And for you to I’m sure.” 

“Yes.”, she admitted. “She wants to meet with him to talk things over, you know. She would like a second chance.” 

There was an edge to Anna’s voice that did not go unnoticed. Jordan watched as Anna paced the room and twisted her hands together in agitation. Jordan though a moment and chose her words carefully, afraid that if she pushed too hard, Anna shut down. Jordan knew she was well-practiced in compartmentalizing her feelings and it wouldn’t take much for her to slam the door of her heart closed.

“Hayden can want that, but her letter can't have changed the way you and Finn feel about each other.” 

“I don't know how he is feeling, to be honest. I encouraged him to take the time to think about his feelings. We agreed to spend a few days apart so he could understand what he wants. If he meets Hayden and can settle the past between them, then I will be satisfied. Until then I will do my best to continue my life as normal.” 

“Oh, Anna. That must be incredibly difficult.” 

“It is, but it's fair. I try to take some small comfort in that. But that’s enough talk about it. I don't want to ruin your day by talking about Finn and me and our problems.”

Anna quickly walked over to a small side table and opened the lid of a glossy white box that sat there. She reached in and picked up the veil that felt like gossamer in her hands from and began to smooth the creases from it.

“We should be focusing on you today,” she said with as much cheer as she could muster. A smile was placed firmly on her face, one that didn’t seem to match her eyes. 

Jordan walked over and took the veil from her and set it aside before reaching to hold both of Anna’s hands in her own. She took a deep breath knowing that what she needed to say next would not be easy even though it was necessary.

“Anna while we are still alone there is something I need to say to you. I should have said it long before now.”

“What is it?” Anna knit her brows in concern.

“I need to tell you I’m sorry.”

“For what?” she asked, taken aback by the serious look in Jordan’s eyes

“Back in January, after Finn left the hospital and went home with you, I stopped by your house, but you weren’t there. I don't know what came over me, but I warned Finn that the life you lead is one of adrenaline and excitement, but that doesn't translate well into everyday life. And I’m pretty sure that your relationship stalled because of me.”

Anna just stared at Jordan. She was speechless. Jordan took the opportunity to continue hoping that she could atone for her mistake.

“I was out of line. You and Finn have managed to build a relationship on mutual respect and have supported each other through difficult times. It was none of my business, and I should have let the two of you work through things without interfering. I'm sorry Anna. I hope you can forgive me. I had no right to project my concerns onto you and your relationship. Anytime you want to go down to the gym I’ll let you kick my ass if you like.”

Anna slowly regained her capacity for speech.

“Jordan, thank you for telling me, but your apology is not necessary. Finn and I were doing just fine messing things up on our own back then, with or without outside help.”

“But you got back on track.”

“Yes, I thought so, but here we are. Trouble seems to follow us wherever we go. Or maybe it just follows me.” That heart-sick ache returned and settled in Anna’s throat, choking her from saying any more. 

“You love him don’t you.”

Anna said nothing but averted her gaze. She was unable to meet Jordan’s eyes, so she instead stared intently out at the perfect fall day framed by the window. Her cheeks flamed with the same color as the red and copper foliage that adorned the trees outside. Jordan looked at her friend, her eyes alight. 

“Oh Anna, I'm so happy for you.” 

Jordan noticed as Anna’s shoulders slumped slightly and she seemed to draw into herself. They stood in silence for a moment before Anna turned and was finally able to meet her friend’s gaze. Jordan could detect a glassiness in her eyes that betrayed the depth of her emotions.

“That might be premature. I don't know what Finn is going to do. I haven't seen him in two days. But really it doesn't matter. This is your wedding day…”

Jordan put her hand up to stop Anna’s words.

“Let me stop you right there. It does matter. Anna Devane is in love, and that is as rare as chicken teeth, as Aunt Stella might say. That deserves to be celebrated.” Her words had the desired effect because Anna raised her hand to her mouth and stifled a laugh.

“Chicken teeth?” 

“Listen, I know that it can be a scary thing to leap without a safety net. But if I didn't take chances, then Curtis and I wouldn't be here today. I don't want you to be so afraid of losing something that you can't enjoy what is right in front of you. You deserve some happiness, Anna. Don’t make up Finn’s mind before he does.” 

“I'm not making up is mind for him.” Anna protested.

“Uh huh. I saw you leave the escape room together. Was it Finn’s idea or yours to spend some time apart?”

“Mine.”

“And what did he want?”

“He wanted to stay with me.”

Jordan looked at Anna pointedly.

“Alright you've made your point,” she said with a toss of her head.

Jordan placed her hands on Anna’s shoulders and shook her gently. She smiled at her until the expression was returned. If she needed to shake some sense into Anna Devane literally, she would.

“It's my wedding day, and all I ask is that you stop hiding from your feelings and enjoy the man that has put a smile on your face for the first time in God knows how long. No keeping your distance, no pretending you don’t want him. Can you do that for me? Hell, can you do that for yourself?

“Ok! Ok! Yes, I will.” Anna exclaimed. Jordan was pleased to see that the hard, dull look had cleared from her eyes. 

“Good. Now help me get ready.”

Anna nodded. She made up her mind to take Jordan’s advice and make the most of this day. She wouldn’t keep him at a distance but would not waste the time they did have. She had no choice in the matter. She ached for him. She wanted his arms around her, his eyes looking into hers. A bittersweet feeling flooded through her veins- she was happy that he will be with her today but sorry that she must hide her feelings a little longer. She loved him, and she's known this for a while now. But, she still can’t tell him- not yet. Anna resolves that she will if he comes back to her.

Her moment of contemplation was broken by the sound of voices in the hallway. She is sure that it’s Maxie and Lulu. Her deduction is based upon by the rapidness of the voices and exasperated tone of the exchange, even if the content of the conversation was too far away to hear. Her instinct was spot on as Hurricane Maxie burst upon the room with Lulu at her heels. 

“Anna! You haven’t even started to get ready!” Maxie mourned at the sight of her. Anna knew better than wait for a scolding, so she grabbed her dress and retreated to the dressing room. She would have to get ready and see what the day would bring, for better or for worse.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Anna are together at the wedding reception. Will Anna still keep Finn at arm's length?

The Haunted Star

Finn couldn't stop looking at her. Anna stood looking out at the dancefloor at Peter and Maxie with a smile on her face. The dim light of the Haunted Star main room bathed her with a bewitching light, casting shadows on her. Her profile, elegant posture and the curve of her neck were accented in the low light, and Finn thought she looked like something out of a Pre-Raphaelite painting, ethereal and remote. 

The sight of her scarlet-clad with flowers in hand, smiling directly at him as if they were the only two in the chapel had made him release a breath he wasn't even conscious he was holding. Seeing her made him recall a quote by Cicero, I shall breathe again when I see you. 

Their eyes had met several times through the ceremony, lingering on each other, small smiles exchanged, and they are both relieved. Relieved that the wall between them was being taken down brick by brick with every glance. They can see each other over it now, but the path was not completely clear, not yet. Finn hoped it would be soon.

Later, Anna had taken his hand and led him to the dance floor ignoring his quips. She knew his methods and tricks to see through his feigned disinterest, and she had grown immune to them. But secretly he is glad. She was taking what she wants from him rather than remaining at a distance. 

Her inquiries after Hayden and the plans to meet were the only things that took him out of the moment. The look of raw compassion that she casts on him both freezes and scalds him at the same time, as does her assertion that she will support him in his decision no matter what he chooses. He told her he’s grateful for saying so, but deep down there is a faint flicker of disappointment. He doesn’t expect her to ask him not to go to Rome, he knows her too well. She will always sacrifice her own happiness for those she cares for. The flicker of doubt is soon extinguished as he realized that her effort to remain neutral is just a sign of her caring and it gave him hope. He decided to let it go for now and not take a minute of his time with her for granted. And then Anna, rose up to receive his kiss and he was further encouraged that final bricks in the barrier were coming loose. 

Anna, for her part, took note of how handsome he looked in his tailored tuxedo. The pressed lines are at odds with his hair, tousled from when he last ran his hands through it. Her fingers itched to do the same. She worked to keep her features even, but she couldn’t help the smile brought to her face by the picture he made in the soft light of the room. 

“Listen I've been thinking about what you said…” 

Anna turned quickly and placed a finger on Finn's lips.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to tell me now.”

She resumed watching the couples on the dancefloor. To Finn, the sight of her smiling and vibrant, was the proverbial breath of fresh air, reviving him from the stupor of the last 48 hours. He just needed to be sure that she was willing to receive the attention that he so wanted to pay to her.

“Alright. Can I kiss you?”

She looked at him with an inscrutable look in her eyes, a soft smile playing about the corners of her mouth.

“Yes.”

Finn bent to press his lips against hers chastely as if testing the waters. She leaned in, yielding ever so slightly. The second kiss was bolder his mouth moving more forcefully over hers. In response, Anna indulged her desire and let her hands tangle in his hair. The guests faded into the background. The third kiss reduces them both to warm liquid desire. The caress locked them in a private bubble, the wedding reduced to nothing more than a haze in the background.

“So, can I take you home?” He whispered into the shell of her ear, and she shivered as his warm breath tickled the sensitive skin of her neck and threatened to melt her down into nothing. 

Anna nodded and extended her hands to him. 

“Yes.” 

The feel of her hand in his soothed tension that he didn’t realize he was holding. It is always intimate, the mingling of their hands and Finn was gratified to see Anna’s eyelids close every so briefly in contentment. He was glad that she feels it too- the comfort of their hands together. Finn realized that one of the things he had missed the most over these last two days was the reassuring pressure of her hand squeezing his. 

“Can I stay the night? He asked, gathering her close in his arms he placed a kiss on her temple. He can feel her nod against his chest, and they sway slightly in each other's arms, an echo of a slow dance. Even though he claimed not to like dancing, he liked the feel of her in his arms. He nuzzled his nose to her forehead smelling the bright citrus smell of her hair. Anna’s fingers reached up to map the lines of his face. Her thumb traced his bottom lip, and the sensation made him grip her tighter, as quick as a reflex. 

“Yes.” 

The word has barely escaped her lips, and he swept her up in his arms and covered her lips hungrily. The kiss was deep and satisfying; his tongue was exploring and tasting her while his hands gently tugged at her hair.

“You want to get out of here?” 

“Now.”

Desire washed over them like a wave, threatening to drown them both. Finn took her hand and fairly ran her out of the room. Anna barely had the presence of mind to grab her clutch. She figured her friends would forgive her for leaving the reception in such haste, in fact, she was sure that if Jordan were still there, she would have high-fived her on the way out. 

Finn whisked her through the corridors of the Haunted Star away from the noise of the reception and the prying eyes of the other guests. As soon as they were in an empty corridor, Finn pressed her against the wall and kissed her with ardor. Anna responded in kind as she gripped his dark hair and her mouth met his. Once he had left her thoroughly breathless, he retook her hand and led her down the gangplank to where his car was parked. Finn took out his keys and pushed the button on his fob to unlock it. He opened the front passenger side door with a flourish and waited for her to enter. 

Anna stood a moment thinking then looked at him with a wicked glint in her eye, She scanned the parking lot and observing no one quickly opened the door to the back seat of the car. She smoothly lifted her skirt and slid in. Anna scooted over the far side and patted the seat next to her. Finn stood mouth agape, his brain almost short-circuited at the realization of what she was intending. 

“Are you coming? It's rude to keep a lady waiting.”

Anna found herself backing up against the door of the car, her eyes heavy-lidded, as she waited in breathless anticipation for him to join her. She did not have to wait long. Soon he was seated beside her, and she was pinned against the car door by his strong arms as he claimed her lips. He drew a moan from her as she responded in kind gripping his shoulders as she tasted him. 

His hands caressed her back, sliding down the silky fabric of her dress. His lips moved to the sensitive side of her neck, lingering at her exposed clavicle. All she could do was grip his jacket in frustration- she needed so much more of him, and she needed it now. She threw her head back in abandon as she revealed in the sensuality of the moment. This physical catharsis was necessary after the emotionally fraught days proceeding. Hayden, Rome, the Via Veneto she cared about none of it, only the feeling of her skin against his. 

Confident fingers dipped beneath the silk of her dress sending an electric current of pleasure straight down her spine to her center. Anna let her hand slip from his hair to caress the side of his face before moving it to his collar where she ruthlessly pulled at his bowtie and stripped it from him. Finn’s hands reached for the tie of her wrap gown and tugged until he had freed her from it. She shrugged it off, and her bra soon followed. Anna gripped his shoulders as his hands made good use of their access to her body.

“Please!” she gasped. 

She was almost mad with desire. Finn shifted to shed himself of his jacket while she worked frantically at his shirt buttons. Her heart pounded, and her adrenaline was so high that it was interfering with her fine-motor skills. Soon the jacket and shirt were both off and joined her dress, flung haphazardly over the front seats. The rest of their clothes soon followed. 

Finn pulled her up till she was astride him, his hands caressing her back down to her smooth thighs. She arched her body toward him as he called her name. Their labored gasps had fogged the windows of the car obscuring the outside as the twilight evening slipped into darkness. She felt his hands gripping her hips forcefully drawing her even closer setting a pace that would soon send them both over the edge. 

The wrongness and rightness of their location only made her passion stronger. Anna lost herself in the feeling of him. She dug her fingers into the flesh of his back as she felt release claim them both. Warmth started in her core and soon radiated through her limbs to her fingertips. Anna felt her body go limp from pleasure, like a marionette with its strings cut. Finn’s eyes were closed as she snuggled her face against his neck and she felt his fingers slowly caressing her back as if to calm her. She felt a surge of tenderness as she leaned against him.

“Finn...I…” Anna began to speak but then stopped. In that moment, cradled in his arms, the urge to tell him that she loved him, that she wanted him to stay with her, and leave the past in the past, was so strong in almost spilled from her lips. She only just checked herself. Not yet, she needed him to be sure. He would have to make that decision outside of the rosy afterglow of passion. 

“I missed you.” She continued. As he held her his head leaned on her shoulder. She smiled at the feel of his hair brushing her neck.

“I missed you too.” Finn wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close, stroking her hair gently, letting this fingertips communicate the affection that he didn’t have the words to say. The stayed like that for a moment, content to hold and be held. 

Too soon they were occupied in collecting and re-donning only the clothing that was necessary to keep them from being arrested for indecent exposure on the drive home. Once halfway decent they clumsily climbed back into the front seats. Finn started the engine and turned towards her.

“Anna, can I still come home with you? I...I don’t want you to think that this is what I wanted. I mean this is definitely what I wanted, but I also wanted to, you know, just be together and talk. Roxy’s more of the silent supportive type, and I just want to be able to have a conversation with actual words.”

She nodded her enthusiastically in affirmation. She had no plans to let Finn leave her side tonight.

Devane Manor 

They sat on opposite sides of the sofa, tea and sparkling water in hand, phones silenced, formalwear discarded for more comfortable attire, and talked over the wedding from each of their perspectives. The more difficult conversations could keep until morning. 

Their combined wit was high tonight, and Anna smiled. She had missed this over the past few days. Their words were parrying and reposting like sabers on a piste, each bout yielding a different victor. Their discourse was always invigorating. Often the more heated of their exchanges were echoed later by their bodies in the privacy of their shared bed- his or hers as the mood took them. But in those bouts, they were both victors.

“It’s late now. You must be tired.” Finn’s thumb traced the lines of her palm.

Anna leaned forward and let her hands wander to the front of his robe.

“Not too tired.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After returning to Port Charles with Liesl Obrecht, Finn & Anna decide to celebrate the milestone of saying "I love you." Anna has a question about Hayden.

MetroCourt, Port Charles 

Finn placed the key card into the slot and opened the door to his room. It was dark, and Finn smiled triumphantly. Somehow he had managed to beat her here. Finn flicked on the light and threw his wallet and keys down on the table. 

“What took you so long?”

Finn nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of her behind him.

“How did you get here before me?”

“Being a former police commissioner has its advantages I know the fastest routes around town and the officers know me and my car, and they kindly look the other way when I'm in the mood to get somewhere quickly. And believe me, I was in the mood.”

“Well, that makes two of us.”

Anna stepped closer to him, and she fingered his necktie. It was blue, a color she loved on him. Quickly, her fingers wrapped around the knot and she pulled him forward to capture his mouth with hers. Her arms were around his neck, and she was kissing him with the force of the passion running through her veins. She broke away to gasp for air.

“Sorry I had intended to take my time with you, but that idea seems to be going out the window.” 

“We can slow it down. Whatever pace you want.”

Finn grew serious for a moment. He took her hands into his own, and Anna looked at him questioningly.

“I’ve been thinking. You asked me what I thought Hayden meant by 'unfinished business.' I think I know.”

Anna looked at him curiously. Finn began to pace back and forth nervously. Anna took a step back waiting for him to be ready to talk about whatever was running through his mind.

“When she was sick she went into a coma. I was trying everything I could to help her, and I needed her to wake up. So, I sat next to her, and I begged her to open her eyes. I told her we had unfinished business. And she opened her eyes. I think, in her letter, Hayden was trying to remind me of that moment. Of how I called her back and she was trying to do the same thing, call me back to her.”

“But you didn’t want to go?”

“Why? I’m happy here with you. There is nowhere I’d rather be.”

“Finn, I haven’t asked, and I hadn't intended to but...what did you say to Hayden to tell her you weren't coming to Rome.” 

“I texted her saying that an urgent matter prevented me from making the trip.” 

“An urgent matter,” Anna repeated.

“It was. I had to get my tickets changed, and I urgently needed to be with you.”

“So that's it then. You just texted.” 

“No, that's not it. I wrote this. I’m going to give it to Curtis to send to her.” 

Finn reached into the interior pocket of his jacket and retrieved a cream-colored envelope. He held it out to her.

“A letter?” Anna asked in surprise.

“It seemed appropriate. Do you want to read it.”

Anna felt unsure, and she didn’t know why. Perhaps it was the thought of reading words he had intended for Hayden to hear made her feel as if she was eavesdropping, but her curiosity was peaked. 

“I don’t have to if you don’t want me too.”

“Anna, I meant it when I said I didn’t want any secrets between us.”

Finn put the letter in her hand. Anna carefully slid the folded piece of paper from its envelope and unfolded it. She could see Finn’s distinctive scrawl covering its surface. Anna sat down on the bed, one leg tucked underneath her and Finn eased himself down next to her. He placed his arm around her waist, his need to stay connected to her overwhelmed him. Anna cleared her throat and began to read aloud. 

“Dear Hayden, I hope this letter finds you well. I will be honest; these are not easy words to write. I’ve thought about what I would want to say to you often, but now that I have the chance I’m not sure where to begin. But now I know I need to put my thoughts into words, such as they are-” 

Anna looked at Finn, and he shrugged. “It’s not Walt Whitman, I’ll admit it.” She nudged him playfully and then looked back down at the page and continued reading.

“Let me start by saying what I think we both understand. We did love each other. Once we thought that what we had together would stand the test of time. But we found ourselves battling our own demons. We thought we could fix what the other was lacking, making each other whole again.”

“And that worked for a little while. We did find a bit of happiness, and I am grateful for that. But I think we both realize that what we had wasn’t sustainable for either of us, even if our baby had survived. I will never regret falling in love with you because you were part of my journey towards becoming who I am today, just as I hope I have played a part in your journey towards finding out who you want to be.”

“I wasn’t able to meet you in Rome as you requested, but I want you to know that I am doing well and I am happy. When you left, you wrote that you hoped that I would find-” 

Anna’s voice broke with emotion at the words on the page in front of her, and she brought her hand to mouth and paused. She worked to compose herself before starting again.

“I would find love again, and I am happy to tell you that I have.” Anna looked at Finn, and he smiled at her and nodded. 

“I had a difficult time after you left, but then I met someone, someone who was there to give me the courage to go out into the world again and made me realize that I am a whole lot braver than I ever thought I could be. With her by my side, I have built my life into something I am proud of.”

Anna reached her hand out towards him, and Finn caught it in both of his. He brought it to his lips and kissed each one of her knuckles slowly. 

“What I hope is that one day you will find the person who stands beside you also. You will always have a place in my memory, and I will cherish what we meant to each other. I wish you the best, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Here are the things I want for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to know how happy you once made me and, even though it pained me the day you left, in the end, I was better for it. I wish you the best. -Finn”

Anna looked up from the page with tears in her eyes. She stood up, refolded the letter and tucked it back into its envelope before setting it down gently on the table in front of her. She could feel Finn standing behind her. She turned and walked into his arms. He enveloped her in his embrace, his arms wrapping all the way around her as tight as he could.

She looked up at him and raised up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I love you, so much,” she whispered against his mouth and kissed him again, slowly and deeply.

Finn broke the kiss and looked straight into her eyes, and she felt as if he was piercing her soul. “I love you,” he said fiercely, and his lips captured hers, and their kiss was long and sweet and tender. They broke apart and just looked at each other. His hand moved to her cheek and caressed the soft skin with his thumb. His eyes lingered on her face as he cataloged the planes of her face as if seeing them for the first time. Anna’s cheeks blazed under his gaze. The way he looked at her made her feel naked, not in the physical sense but as if her very essence was bare and vulnerable. She shivered involuntarily but not with cold. .His hand moved to the back of her head, his fingers carefully brushing through the strands in an almost hypnotic way. Anna felt her skin tingle, starting from her scalp and running down over her limbs. Waves of warmth flowed down her body and settled in a warm pool in her core. She pressed herself forward in search of the heat of his body and their lips met. Finn’s mouth was warm and inviting and brushed hers unrushed and unhurried. His lips moved to her neck and up to her ear.

“I love you.” He breathed into the shell of her ear, and she was lost. His voice was like a spark that set her body humming with electricity. They crashed into each other to sink into a kiss, deep and fierce. Anna brought her hands to his face, pulling him as if she couldn’t bring him close enough to her.

“Anna.” he sighed and let out a soft groan as his hands shifted to trace the curve of her back. He loved her back and how he could feel lean muscle shift under her soft skin. He worked to remove the layers of clothing that prevented him from touching her flesh, while his mouth moved to spot where her neck and shoulder met. Soon her clothes were pooled on the floor, and his hands were free to enjoy all of her. Finn felt at a disadvantage and stopped to help her as Anna worked at his buttons and soon he was just as exposed as she. 

Anna reached to touch his chest, and he captured her hand in his an gently kissed her palm, then her wrist, then her elbow and finally his teeth grazed her shoulder. Goosebumps covered her skin as she drew in a ragged breath. The look in his eyes was different now, it burned into her and made her knees weak. She could see his chest rising and falling as his own breath quickened. Finn smiled and returned to kiss the column of her neck enjoying the sounds of appreciation he was able to draw from her. He loved her, and she loved him. The feeling of joy Finn had was overwhelming. He needed to be with her and tell her with words and his body how much he cherished her. Suddenly he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arm around her waist resting his forehead on her navel, just wanting to hold her. She gasped in surprise, and the ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him. “I know. I know...” She whispered gently. She understood. Neither of them had expected that love would grow, but they were so grateful to have found each other.

Finn ran his hands down her legs and then stood up and picked her up in his arms. In two steps he had reached the bed and laid her down on it. He kissed down her body until he reached the crease of her hip. Anna felt like she was no longer in control of her body. Finn hovered over her and then brought his mouth back up to hers. She reached to pull him closer tangling her hands in his hair. The room dissolved into blankness around her as she closed her eyes and Anna was aware of nothing other than the feel of his mouth on her body.

Finn stopped to smile at her as he took her leg and wrapped it around his waist. He couldn’t leave her wanting anymore. He held her tightly, and his eyes peered into hers, filled with emotion as they rocked together. They were enveloped in an intimacy that Anna wasn’t sure she would ever feel again. Their breath quickened in tandem and Finn whispered muffled words of adoration into neck while she called his name. Pleasure broke over them like a wave and their bodies tensed and relaxed in turn. Finn pressed hurried kisses over her face and neck as she ran her hands down his back languidly. They looked at each other and said “I love you” at the same time and the sound of their laughter filled the room. 

The bed was warm, and Anna and Finn nestled themselves under the comforter. Sometimes Anna wanted to lay her head against Finn’s chest listening to the rhythm of his heart beat in time with his breathing. But most of the time they lay on their sides and just looked at one another. Blue eyes and brown eyes regarding each other. That's why on this night they lay taking in the view they love best. 

For her, it's blue the color of a cloudless day, creased with lines from the smile he doesn't know is on his face. For him it's her smile, so dazzling it brightens up the room with its brilliance. In this position, face to face, hands are intertwined, fingers reached to trace the planes of the face, lips leaned in to touch. Words are spoken.

For the two of them, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And they were finally home.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of Anna's unexpected blindness Finn and Anna both have to face their fears.

General Hospital, Port Charles

Finn stood leafing through the chart that he hadn’t been paying attention to for more than an hour. He stared intently at the door of Anna’s room. His pen tapped rapidly, mirroring the speed of his thoughts. The days' events had played and replayed in his mind. Anna in a wheelchair. Him, running to her side. The feel of her hands gripping his so tight he thought she might draw blood. The sound of fear and panic in her voice as she called his name that had made the blood drain from his face and limbs. Finn had never heard her sound like that before and it had harrowed him to his core. He had worried for her before, he had seen her held at gunpoint, she had been abducted and she had always remained completely in control of her situation. This was different.

Finn stepped away from the counter and began pacing back and forth in front of her door. His eyes were on the floor, tracing every crack and nick in the linoleum surface as if he concentrated hard enough perhaps he could somehow restart the day. His brow was creased with worry, giving him a headache. He reached up to massage his temples hoping to relieve the pressure but placed his hands in his pockets when it did no good.

Finn was a doctor. He had told her once that he had to keep a professional distance from his patients, that if he got too involved or emotional to could affect his objectivity and compromise his patients care. To hell with that now.

The sound of his phone caught his attention. It was a text.

Is grandma ok?

Finn’s heart sank. Emma was worried and he had no answers to give her reassurance. He thought for a minute and responded.

Don’t worry. Griffin and I are taking care of her.

Finn hoped that would be enough to set her mind at ease even if his wasn’t. Emma thought her grandma hung the moon and Finn thought she wasn’t far off in her estimation of Anna’s abilities. Finn heard the creak of a door and his head shot up. He turned his attention back to Anna’s hospital room door and was grateful when he saw it open and Felicia slipped out. Immediately his posture straightened and he walked over to get the latest news. Felicia gave him a tight smile as she approached. 

“How is she doing?” Finn asked concern shadowed his face.

“She’s hanging in there. I brought her some things from home. I was able to get her to relax and she just dropped off to sleep. I think she’s just exhausted. Sleep will do her good.”

“I’m sure you're right.”

“And how are you doing?”

“I’ll be a whole lot better when we find some answers. Griffin sent the CT scan results to Berkeley for Patrick to look over. They both agree that surgery is the best course of action right now. It’s scheduled for the day after tomorrow.”

Felicia nodded. “Mac talked to Robin. She’s making plans so she can come out if she needs to.”

“You might as well tell her to wait and see what the surgery results are. Then we will know how...permanent her condition is. If the damage is severe then Anna is going to need all the support she can get.”

“Well, she has a lot of people in her corner. And most importantly she has you.”

Finn looked down at his hands and tried to avoid her eyes. “You know Anna. She’s fiercely independent, that’s what makes her, well, her. She’s not going to want to ask for help. In fact, I have a feeling she is going to resent it.”

“You’re probably right but if I am right about you, and I think I am, you are up for the challenge. Which is good because she will be a challenge.”

“I love her. I’m here for the long haul.”

Felicia smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m so happy to hear that.” 

Finn cleared his throat. “And Robert?”

“Mac couldn’t get ahold of him. I called Frisco and he said he is on a blackout assignment. He said he would get him the message as soon as he could.”

“You know, I understand that Anna’s job is dangerous by its nature and I’ve accepted that. And I know that her PV has its own set of risks. But I can honestly say that I didn’t see anything like this coming. And I hope I can be what she needs.”

“You will be. You hang in there and call me if you learn anything more.”

“Of course. Thank you for coming and I’ll let you know when we know something.”

Finn watched as Felicia walked towards the elevator and then returned his attention to the metal door that led to the most important person in his life. He loved her and she loved him and their lives were finally in sync and now another blow was dealt them. He remembered Anna speaking of being cursed. Perhaps their happiness had finally drawn the attention of the gods and in their jealousy, they had blinded her and rendered him useless to help. He shook his head at his foolishness, mythological comparisons were hardly helpful at this juncture. 

He spied Nurse Driscoll holding a tray and walking towards Anna’s room. That would not do. Finn shuffled over quickly and placed himself between her and the door. Like a liminal deity, presiding over thresholds, gates, or doorways; he mused, allowing for one last classical indulgence before setting the analogies away. Only Anna would appreciate the reference anyway, it's one of the many things he treasures about her. He’s certain Amy Driscoll would have no frame of reference. 

“I’ll take that.” He said, reaching out for the tray. Amy clutched it closer to herself and motioned for him to remove himself from the doorway and let her pass.

“It's for Ms. Devane and I’m supposed to help her get out of her street clothes.” 

“Ok, great. Um, she’s resting right now and it would probably be better to come back later. I’ll take the tray in and I’ll put hospital gown in there too. I’m sure you have a lot of patients to see, I don’t mind helping out.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble.” She moved closer and he put up his hands to stop her.

Finn decided to change tack and put as much sternness and authority as he could into his voice. “As her doctor, I’m going to have to insist that you let her rest.”

“But you aren’t her doctor. She’s Dr. Monroe’s patient and she’s on my rotation for tonight. And it’s time to take her vitals.” She reached for the door handle but Finn placed himself in the way before she could.

“You’re not going in there and that’s final. If I need to I’ll page Dr. Monroe and get him to back me up.”

“Geez, fine! But you are going to have to be the one to explain to Epiphany why I haven’t signed off her chart.” Amy handed him the tray and threw up her hands in exasperation.

“That is a risk I am willing to take.”

Finn opened the door and walked into Anna’s room. He set the tray on a side table and walked to stand next to the hospital bed that held Anna’s sleeping form. She lay so still. His hand hesitated, hovering inches away from her face before he pulled back. As he watched her sleep his nerves tied themselves into knots and seemed to settle at the base of his skull causing his head to throb with tension. His hand closed around hers, he held on tightly as if he could will her to get better. Not three hours earlier he had been arguing with her about going to Laura’s event and now the light had gone out in her beautiful eyes and she was sightless. 

The guilt washed over him. He should have stayed with her, insisted he go with her to meet Peter. He could have been there, maybe he could have noticed her symptoms sooner. What good was being a doctor if he couldn’t help the ones that he loved? He took a moment to center himself by reviewing her treatment plan in his head. It was easier to focus on something tangible, something he had control over. The holidays had been filled with laughter and joy and now that, for better or worse, the Obrecht situation was behind them and they were not in any direct danger, things he never had expected to worry about again had begun to resurface anew with fresh vigor. But this time it's not the fear of losing her to life-endangering circumstances but losing her to despair. 

He pulled a stool over and watched her sleep from beside her bed. He worked to bolster his feelings as she rested and waited for the looming confrontation that would happen when she awoke, as he knew it would. He watched her chest rise and fall evenly, she had a peaceful expression on her face and it made him smile. He wanted badly to crawl into bed next to her and hold her sleeping form even though he knew how ill-advised that would be. He averted his eyes and smothered those thoughts. Instead, he sat and waited.  
The light in the room began to wane and he didn’t want to disturb her by turning on the lights. He shook his head at his own foolishness. It would not matter if the lights were on or not. Her world was dark. Still, it seemed disrespectful to fill her room with light she could not see. There was no way around it, this would be a sleepless night for him. He was resolved that he would not leave her side. 

The one thing he was secretly grateful for that that the lack of sleep and its telltale dark circles, would not be noticeable to her. He would count these small mercies. Finn hoped he would be able to conceal his emotions from creeping into his voice. He reached to pick up her medical chart, it was only then that he realized his hands were shaking uncontrollably. Finn closed his hands into fists, his fingernails digging into his palms, as he attempted to collect himself. His chest tightened as his breath turned shallow and sounded loud in his ears. An anxiety attack was the last thing he needed so he focused hard to get his breathing under control. His eyes burned as tears rose behind them.

He heard a rustling sound and he looked to see Anna shifting restlessly in the bed. The soft chirping of the hospital instruments seemed to have disturbed her slumber. Her eyes fluttered for a bit before she suddenly started violently awake. Her hands were reaching out frantically in front of her in a panic. Her eyes darted around the room but focused on nothing. Finn caught her hands in his. He cursed himself mentally, he should have known that the first time she awoke would be disorienting. He reached to hold her hands on his own and made soothing sounds to her. 

“Anna, Anna...it’s ok. It’s me, I’m here with you.” The sound of his voice seemed to calm her slightly and she leaned back against the pillows.

“Finn! Turn on the light. I can’t see you.”

Finn fought back the tears that welled at the sound of her distress. He reached and ran his hand against the side of her face and she grasped it tightly. 

“The light is on Anna,” he said gently. 

She stilled for a moment as the events of the day returned to her memory. Finn sat and watched her as she tried to make sense of it all. He could see her eyes shimmer in the low fluorescent light and her empty eyes seemed to look right past him, seeing only a deep, black abyss. She pushed Finn’s hand away and wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn’t want him to touch her, she was afraid that the pieces of her would fall apart fully at the faintest contact. She felt so alone in the darkness but for his sanity, she didn’t want him to see her weak.

“It’s so dark.” She brought her fingers to her eyes and rubbed as if she could clear the haze from them. But it did no good and she let them fall helplessly to her sides.

“I know. We have you set for surgery the day after tomorrow. Hopefully, we will get this straightened out.”

“I just want answers. You know what I am learning through this?”

“Tell me.”

“I think what I am learning is that it’s lonely here in the dark. You are truly alone with only with yourself and, with a past like mine to contemplate...I'm finding out that I'm not very good company.” Her voice broke slightly and Finn’s heart broke at the sound.

“Well then let me be your company instead.” 

Anna shook her head, her eyes were turned towards the sound of Finn’s voice. “You didn’t have to stay with me. You are probably exhausted and you need rest even more than I do.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay by you always.”

“I...I don’t think you should be talking in absolutes right now. You might regret it later.” 

“Anna-” Finn started but Anna raised her hands in front of her defensively.

“I won’t have you stay by me out of pity, do you hear me? I won’t have it!” Her voice rang out in the room. The tension between them was thick with unspoken fears and withheld emotions. He began to make a rebuttal but thought better of it in time to save himself from saying something he couldn’t take back or that she would reject. Finn decided that a distraction was needed for both of them. He stood up and moved over the table that held her tray and wheeled it till it was angled over her lap.

“You must be hungry.” He took a spoon and placed it in her hand. The change in topic startled her into silence and Finn was pleased.

“Here I’ll explain where everything is. Think of the plate like a clock, the mashed potatoes are at two o’clock and the broccoli is at six o’clock. And hold on, I’ll cut up your meat for you to make it easier...” Before the words were out of his mouth he knew it was a mistake. Anna threw the utensil down in frustration.

“I don’t want this. I’m not hungry. I’m not a child that needs to be fed.” A frigid silence followed. Finn didn’t want to cause her to retreat further into herself so they sat opposite each other, each lost in their own cold thoughts. It was like a light in his own heart was extinguished. Her eyes that had lit up at his smile or danced merrily at his deadpan jokes was veiled in the thick black cloak of darkness. It was then that Finn’s composure broke. He felt his own frustration rising and spilling over.

“Anna I get it. You are frustrated and you're scared. And you know what? So am I! I’m a doctor! I’m supposed to be able to remain objective around my patients but right now I am the man who loves you and wants to make you better immediately and I’m failing spectacularly at that right now.” 

The sound of his raised voice made Anna sit up a little straighter and seemed to break through her melancholy for a moment. She then hung her head in apology.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take my frustration out on you. God knows you don’t deserve it.”

“It’s Ok. Losing one of your senses is a new experience for you.”

Anna contemplated his words and suddenly the past was in her mind and she could see it as clearly as if she did have sight. Did you know that I had lost my hearing before?” Finn sat down in the stool and rolled it closer to her. He was glad to hear some of the anger go out of her voice. 

“No. Tell me about it.”

“There was an explosion and when I woke up in the hospital I couldn’t hear from the concussion. I had ruptured both my eardrums. I felt pain in my ears and for days all I could hear was a rushing sound. Everything else sounded like it was coming from far far away. It was so disorienting.”

“So how did you get through it?”

The doctors were able to repair the damage. It was different then. I wasn’t afraid. I was just relieved when I realized I had survived, even though my life was about to go to hell, I just remember feeling so grateful to be alive. Losing my hearing didn’t seem like a high price to pay deal in the grand scheme. But this is different. I haven’t survived a near-death experience, I was just having coffee on a normal unremarkable day and then this happened. Why? WHY!?” She brought her fist down with all her might onto the thin hospital mattress as her anger broke like thunder before a storm. Her emotions roiled like a tornado sweeping away her composure.

The sound of Finn’s voice cut through her frustration. “Hey. I know this situation is a scary one but no matter what the outcome-” Anna felt a hand cover hers and she pulled her hand away quickly.

“If you say that this will make me stronger I will strangle you. Somehow I will find out a way to do it sight or no sight.” 

“Hey, you said that Nietzsche was helping my bedside manner.”

“Well, that is before you tried to use it on me. What good am I going to be to anyone now?”

“Are you kidding? This is coming from the woman who could tell where our kidnappers had taken us with a bag over her head and shoved head first into a van. And you are also the same woman who found Obrecht because of the sound of a few cars and some cannons.”

Finn smiled as he saw Anna’s sightless eyes roll at his comment. He decided to move along to another task that needed to be done.

“I’m sorry to say but you have to get into a hospital gown so you can be readied for tests tomorrow. Now, I can call Nurse Driscoll in to help you or I can be the one to assist. Or I could help you.” Finn held his breath, waiting to see what answer she would give. He feared she would continue to push him away. After what seemed like an eternity, Anna held out her hand to him and he took it gratefully and pressed his lips to her fingers. 

“I don’t want anyone but you here right now,” she said so softly he could barely hear her words. 

Compassion washed over Finn. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, relieved when she didn't pull away but instead gripped him so tight he almost couldn’t breathe. Finn sighed and ran his fingers through her hair smoothing it back from her temple as he gently kissed her along her hairline. He willed her to be calm. Her fingers reached to trace the lines of his face. The tip of her index finger ran down the slope of his cheek. She was reading his face like Braille, the pads of her fingers floating delicately over his skin. They then trailed all over his forehead, cheekbones, down the bridge of his nose and her thumb felt along the curve of his bottom lip. Her fingers were remembering his features, filling the small gaps in the picture of him she had imprinted in her mind. She tried to remember his smile, his eyes and all the other looks with her touch.

When Anna’s fingers reached his eyes he closed them at let her run them over his eyelids and brows. Then she let them brush back the hair from his forehead, she knew that it would have fallen over his right eye as it always did.

Finn’s face softened with compassion for the woman in front of him. He wanted to kiss her but he worried that she would pull away. He took a deep breath before speaking. 

“I think we should get you ready. I have your gown right here.” Anna acknowledged his statement with a nod of her head. 

Finn’s hands moved to the tie of her shirt and pulled the strings until they came loose and he eased it off her shoulders. Anna pulled the straps of her bra down and slid them over her arms. Finn carefully reached around and undid the clasp and drew it from her body. She held her arms out in front and he threaded her arms through the opening of the gown and tied it at the back His hands then moved her the button of her trousers and he undid it quickly and she slipped out of them, sitting down so he could finish pulling them off. She remained perched on the edge of the bed as he carefully folded her things and placed them neatly in the plastic bag that was meant to receive them. A faint smile played around the corner of Anna’s lips as she could see him being so meticulous in her mind’s eye. Now that they were cohabiting again she had to remember to pick her towels up off of the floor and put her shoes in the closet, especially now that they shared the master bedroom, something they had not done the first time. The thought of their living situation in light of her condition sobered her and Finn could change in her demeanor immediately. He needed to keep her talking. To try and draw out her feelings. He decided that a direct approach would be best.

“Do you want to talk about what you are scared of? It might help to get it out and into the open.”

“I...I’m not sure I can.” Anna’s voice sounded small and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. Finn knew he would have to break the ice, even if it meant they both broke through and floundered for a bit. 

“Well, then how about I go first. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to help you and you will end up being another person I let down. I’m afraid I won’t be what you need. I’m afraid that you are going to try and push me away for my own good again. I’m afraid you are going to close off yourself to me. I’m afraid that I’m going to lose you and I love you so much the thought of you not being in my life is excruciating.” 

Finn saw her hand feeling around the bedclothes seeking his. He took it and interlaced his fingers with hers. Anna’s blank eyes stared ahead and she took a deep breath. 

“I’m afraid that I will hold you back from living your life. I’m afraid to need to rely on you and have you resent me for it. I’m afraid that I won’t be Anna Devane anymore, that I won’t know who I am. I’m afraid that I won’t be the woman you fell in love with. I’m afraid of not being able to see the faces of my loved ones. I’m afraid of all the beauty that I will miss out on in the world. I’m afraid I’ll take my anger out on you and I can’t promise that I will go through this situation gracefully.”

“Listen, Anna, not too long ago I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I let you walk away from me. I didn’t fight for you or for us when I should have. I was lucky that it turned out alright in the end. But I’m not going to repeat my mistake. This is new territory for both of us. I think that right now just laying our cards on the table is a good first step. And we will just take each moment and decision as they come and we will do it together. One step at a time ok?”

Anna nodded slowly and angled her head down as if she was trying to avoid his gaze even though she could not see his eyes on her. She could still feel them watching her. She sighed deeply. “At least there is a silver lining for you in all of this.”

“What’s that?” Finn asked in surprise.

“You won’t have to worry about dancing again. I’m in no condition...to lead. I don’t know that I’ll ever really dance again. Not like I used to anyway.” 

With that Anna’s composure crumbled and she placed her face in her hands and her tears began to fall in earnest. Finn’s heart shattered into a million pieces as the implications of her words reverberated through his brain. She thought that the loss of something she held so dear would make him relieved. As if her blindness released him from an unwanted task. Suddenly all of the jokes he had made about not wanting to dance made him feel ashamed and callous. An idea took hold and he reached down and removed his shoes and placed them under the hospital bed. 

Anna inclined her head towards the sound as if she was trying to decipher his movements. She worked to take the reins of her emotions and keep them in check. But she was emotionally exhausted and even her training was not enough to help cover feelings of loss that bubbled inside. She felt Finn tug on her hand in an effort to get her to stand. 

“Come here.” 

“Why? What are we doing?” Anna held her other hand out in front of her to keep balance.

“Do you trust me?” Finn’s voice was low and rough in her ear like sandpaper over silk.

“What...?” She stood up on her feet carefully. Anna felt confused again, but her face contorted in shock at what she heard next. Suddenly, the slow sultry strains of a Cuban guitar floated in the room. The gentle rhythm flowed through her and she stood in stunned silence and what he intended dawned on her.

“I’ve been listening to this on my phone since we got back from Havana. I guess I just wanted to remember our trip. Now, I’m not an expert by any means, but I did have a pretty good teacher.”

She could feel Finn’s arms wrap around her back, sure in its intention. His thumb traced a circle on the bare skin of her back, exposed by a gap in the hospital gown. She felt a hand grasp hers and guide it to rest on his shoulder. She could feel the smooth fabric of his vest under her fingertips. Underneath she could detect the firm muscle stretching under the material of his suit. She could smell his aftershave, clove and sandalwood, remnants of the shower they had taken together that morning. She remembered the feel of her skin against his, it seemed like a lifetime ago.

Anna felt Finn bend his head closer until his cheek rested against hers. The stubble of his goatee was rough against her face, but it was a feeling she welcomed. The feeling of something so familiar grounded her. She inched closer, allowing herself to ease into his embrace. She could feel the heat of him through the layers of wool and cotton that were between them.

She felt the nudge of his dress-sock clad feet against her bare toes and she took the hint and rocked back slightly on her heels so that balls of her feet rested lightly on top of his. They began to move together to the music, the contact allowing her steps to follow his. Muscle memory took hold and even without sight she still nudged him this way and that as they swayed. She would always lead.

“Ok, I’m going to spin you. Are you ready?” She nodded and he turned her slowly keeping his fingers at her hip to steady her. When she faced him again a smile creased her face and the impact of it on his soul was not diminished by the blankness in her eyes. There was a Balm in Gilead and she was it. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her tentatively at first but then he felt her lips part and he pulled her close and kissed her deeply. Anna responded by placing her arms around his neck and savoring the taste of him. They continued to hold and caress each other, swaying to the music. She realized that for somethings sight was not a requirement and enjoying Finn’s company was one of them. Anna decided that come what may, she would take the small blessings where she could find them. And with that thought in mind, she lifted her chin upward to let him kiss her again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A co-habitation story wherein Finn has to convince Anna to accept his help.

Finn and Anna’s Manor

It was after midnight when Finn finally dragged himself through the door and kicked it closed behind him. All he could think about was his desire to take a shower and wash the long hours of General Hospital off his skin and his soul. It had been a hell of a day, but the prospect of crawling into bed next to Anna had kept him going through the hours of patient consultations, prescriptions, scrub-ins, and charts. He imagined pulling her into his arms half asleep and burying his face in her hair and drifting off into oblivion. He was happy to be home. Home. This was their house together now. No deception, no games, just two people choosing to build a life together. Toothbrushes on the counter, shopping lists, arguments over the thermostat, coffee and tea in the morning, dry cleaning, dishes; Finn loved every moment of it. He even loved her overprotective family and how they had welcomed him into their unwieldy clan with open arms.

Stepping into the foyer, Finn was surprised to find the house ablaze with light. He walked into the living room to find Anna sitting on the couch with her hands on her knees staring at something in front of her with extreme concentration. If she heard him behind her, she took no notice. Intrigued Finn walked toward her to decipher what she was doing. As he moved closer, he could see what held her attention. Sitting on the coffee table in front of her was her gun. 

“Anna-?” He began, but she raised a finger to her lips to motion for him to be quiet. Finn stopped and watched as she continued to sit in silence. Finn noticed that every muscle in her body was tense. She looked as tight as a coiled spring.

BEEP! 

The sound of a phone alarm pierced the air, and Anna reached forward and grasped her gun and drew it off the table. Her hands moved like lightning as she smoothly rotated the safety lever on the left side of the slide. She pointed the firearm towards the wall and removed the magazine by pressing the release button behind the trigger. It ejected readily and slid into her palm. She slammed it down onto the table. She pulled back the slide and tilted her head to the side as she looked into the chamber. She held the pistol firmly in one hand and braced the trigger guard with her index finger. With her other hand, she pulled down the front of the spring-loaded trigger guard, pressing it sideways to prevent it from springing back into the frame.

Anna pulled the slide all the way back until it unlocked from the slide rails, lifting it off the end of the frame, then eased the slide all the way forward and off the front end of the gun. Soon it was lying next to the magazine of the table. She extracted a spring from the front end of the barrel. Once the parts of the gun were laid out in front of her, she just as quickly to begin to reassemble the Walther PPK by reversing the steps in meticulous order. She had just taken the magazine in hand and was preparing to slam it into place when several loud beeps emanated from her phone.

“Damn! Damn! Damn!” she cursed loudly. She pushed the clip into place with the palm of her hand and then pounded her fist on the coffee table in frustration.

‘Hi honey, how was your day?” Finn asked amused.

“I almost beat my record. But I was distracted.” She started the process of taking her gun apart once again but with slower motions but no less purposeful. 

“Is it often that you are going to find yourself facing an adversary with your gun in pieces? Wouldn’t it just make more sense to have another gun ready while you cleaned the other?”

“For someone who won't touch one, you sure act like you are an expert.” 

Finn watched as she turned to pick up her gun cleaning kit. The briefest flicker of pain passed over her face as she reached. It had not escaped his attention. 

“Anna, are you ok?” The question was out in one breath.

“I’m fine.” She opened the case and began the process of cleaning her field weapon. Her eyes met his briefly, and she could see that he was skeptical of her truthfulness. She returned to her work but could still feel his eyes on her. 

“It’s nothing more than a muscle spasm in my shoulder” she responded to his unspoken question. “Don’t worry about me.”

“What is it from? Have you been overdoing it at the gym?”

“There is no such thing as overdoing it.” She arched her brow at him.

“Well, you are obviously in pain. I’m a doctor, so I’m going to try to determine the mechanism of injury. It’s one of the annoying consequences being in love with a doctor.”

“Duly noted. I’ll have to remember to find someone in a different profession for the next time I fall in love.” She stopped to hold her shoulder and attempted to stretch it out. She started to massage the side of her neck down towards her elbow.

“Let me have a look.” He took a step towards her.

“That’s not necessary.”

“Something must have happened that you are embarrassed about if you won’t tell me about it or let me look at it. Spill it.”

“Chase is preparing to teach a women’s self-defense course because of the recent attacks. He asked me to help him decide which skills he should go over. Once we sorted that out, he asked if he could practice some of his grappling moves with a more...seasoned opponent.”

“ Is Chase still alive?” Finn realized that his brother probably got more than he bargained for with Anna as a sparring partner.

“Uh, more or less. You might want to check on his ribs tomorrow though. Just as a professional courtesy, if nothing else.”

“I will since I know what it is like to be knocked on my ass by Hurricane Devane. But it looks like he must have got the best of you at some point.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. He wanted to learn some Krav Maga moves that I picked up when I worked with the IDF. He just is more solid than he looks and when I threw him over my shoulder, I felt a twinge. I’m sure it will sort itself out in a few days.”

Anna finished her task and placed her gun in its case and locked it. She knew Finn didn’t like it when she left it laying around, so she had taken to putting it away when it wasn’t needed. And there was no need for him to know about the .357 revolver that she kept concealed under her side of the bed in case of emergencies. A WSB agent could never be too careful.

Anna walked over to the sideboard in the living room and poured herself a glass of scotch. She hoped that the alcohol would dull the pain a bit. She had no intention of admitting that a young, green detective had given her any trouble. Finn was looking at her closely, searching for signs of discomfort, She made sure she showed none. She knew it was late but suddenly the prospect of a hot bath to soothe the pain away seemed like a good idea. She picked up her gun case and made her way upstairs. Finn followed her and watched as she disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

The sound of running water concealed her gasp of pain as she sank into the bathtub. The scalding water seemed to do nothing to touch the pain that was building in her shoulder or ease the knots in her neck. 

Anna finally emerged from the bathroom and expected to see Finn in bed and sleeping. She hoped to slip in beside him and retire for the night and let the Tylenol help the pain subside. But instead, Finn sat on the edge of the bed unbuttoning his shirt. As soon as he saw her, he stood up and slipped the gray fabric from his shoulders and held it out to her. She couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. They both knew that her favorite loungewear was his dress shirts, especially when they held the scent of him on the collar. And Finn never got tired of seeing her clad in his clothing. She took a moment to admire his naked torso and then she did her best to hide her discomfort as her arm moved to slip into the sleeve, but she could feel his eyes on her sensing ever gesture. 

“It still hurts doesn’t it?” He said matter-of-factly 

“I’m fine Finn. I just need some rest, and I’m sure it will sort itself out by morning.”

“Why don't you just admit it and let me help you. Is it a stiff upper lip thing? I actually know quite a bit about pressure points and how to relieve tension. You don’t mind when I put my hands on you any other time. Why is this different?” He looked at her pointedly, and Anna was ashamed when her body betrayed her by blushing. He walked closer and extended his hand towards her. Anna tensed, anticipating his touch but his hand remained hovered above her left shoulder. She knew that her reluctance for him to attend to her injury was nonsensical, but to her this was different. It seemed a sign of weakness which unsettled her.

“I just don’t like to see you in pain, Anna,” Finn said gently, his voice was soothing as if he was trying to keep her from fleeing. “Let me help you.”

She felt the throbbing in her shoulder keeping time with her heartbeat, and that was coupled with the look of love and concern in his clear blue eyes. She could feel the heat radiating from his outstretched hand, and it held the promise of relief. 

“Alright.” She conceded. 

Finn hid his feeling of triumph and instead moved closer. He gently swept her hair from her sore shoulder and shifted it to the other side. His finger reached to unfastened the top three buttons of the shirt and pulled it down to expose her shoulder. Anna couldn’t help the goosebumps that covered her bare skin. She could feel his broad palm covering the base of her neck, using warm, gentle pressure. She released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. His thumbs began kneading her muscles, finding the pressure point. She gasped and then sighed deeply when he found it. She suddenly couldn't remember why she was so reluctant for him to help her. Unfortunately, old habits die hard.

“Go ahead and take deep breaths in and out. In and out…” The roughness of Finn’s voice was almost hypnotic, and his fingers continued to tease the tension from her back. Anna sighed and rolled her head to the side. His fingers found a particularly sensitive set of nerves, and she groaned in appreciation. She could hear the rate of Finn’s breathing increase at the sound she made. She smiled and closed her eyes so she could focus on the sensation. A warmth was coursing through her bloodstream, and she wished his hands would continue moving over the rest of her body. She felt her entire body soften under his touch, melting like snow under his warm hands. He hands finally stopped and rested on her shoulders. The pain was gone, but her desire for his touch was greater than ever.

“I can write a prescription for some muscle relaxants if you want.”

“No, thank you. I think you are just what the doctor ordered.” She sounded tranquil and felt at peace.

Finn’s arms encircled her waist, and she didn’t object as he brought her closer. She turned in his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. They lay down facing each other. The room was quiet, and the restorative magic of Finn’s hands had made Anna feel as if she was somewhere suspended between dreaming and waking. The only thing keeping her tethered to earth was Finn’s smile as he looked at her. She snuggled closer and kissed just underneath his jaw, then wound her fingers tight in his hair and pulled him to her lips. It felt so good; he felt so good. She pulled back to look at him again.

“I promise to be better at this. At letting you take care of me. It’s not my first impulse to ask for help.”

“Or your second, or your third.” Finn chuckled softly. She swatted at his shoulder playfully, and he caught her hand in his and interlaced their fingers together “But don’t worry I won’t give up.”

“Good.” She squeezed his hand and then traced the lines of his palm gently.

“I have tomorrow off. What do you say to our just staying in bed all day and only emerging to forage for food.” Finn moved closer to her and drew her to him, so her head rested on his chest.

“Even better, why don’t we just order in and then we never need to leave the house, and then you won’t have to endure my cooking.”

“I would never have made you cook. I know better.”

“That sounds like the perfect day to me.” 

Warmth and contentment flowed through her and Anna, washing away all of her cares and concerns. Finn sensed as she relaxed in his arms and breathing became steady and even. He kissed her hairline and whispered “I love you.” and was happy to see the sides of her mouth curl up before she drifted off to sleep, her mind and body at ease. For the first time in a long time, the path in front of them was clear, and Finn couldn’t wait to see what the future held for them. Things could only go up from here. Finn closed his eyes and let rest find him. It was good to be home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna and Finn have to keep an eye on Britt Westbourne.

Devane Manor

“Nice house. Not very feng shui though. You can really feel the negative shi chi in the room. The house feels like...attacking energy and repressed emotions.” The former doctor, and prisoner, Britt Westbourne placed her hands on the wall and closed her eyes for a moment.

“Ugh, stop touching things and making everything sticky. I’m going to have to go wipe down the car already.” Finn squirted a generous amount of hand sanitizer into his palm and rubbed his hands together vigorously.

“Well if you two had done a better job making sure I wasn’t assaulted by Lulu I wouldn’t be like this. Hopefully, you are a better doctor than a bodyguard.” Britt continued to walk around, picking things up and setting them down as she chose. A muscle worked in Finn’s jaw and Anna reached to rub his arm soothingly.

“Britt, why don’t you go upstairs and get yourself cleaned up. The second room on the right will be yours for the night. There are towels and everything you need in the shower.”

“Can I at least have a snack first? I’m starving.”

Finn looked at her in horror. “How is that even possible? I didn’t think any one person could consume that much meat in one sitting as it is.”

Ding Dong!

Britt’s eyes lit up at the sound of the doorbell and she fairly skipped over to the front door.

“Yay! Awesome! Just in time.” She reached for the door handle and hauled it open

Anna called after her, following closely on her heels. “No one knows you are here. How can you possibly have a visitor?”

Standing at the door was a bearded man in a trucker hat. He was holding a bucket that Anna recognized as being from a local fried chicken restaurant and a six-pack. Britt held her hands out and jumped up and down with glee.

“Here, give me those. Knowing you, Agent Stiff Upper Lip, I figured there would only be fancy wine and champagne here and all I want is good, old fashioned all-American beer.”

“You don’t even have a phone. How could you have possibly have had the ability to order anything?” Finn asked doubtfully.

“With this.” Britt reached into her back pocket and triumphantly pulled out a cell phone. She tossed it at Finn who barely was able to catch it in time. He looked at it and then back to her in shock.

“Hey! This is mine and now it's sticky too. Ugh! How?”

“In prison, you learn how to pocket things at the right moment and conceal them. That’s why being in the laundry was the best place. I could control the flow of contraband, phones especially. Being a doctor I’m really good with my hands. I can show you sometime.” 

The delivery boy waved his hand to get the attention of the room. “Um, this is great and all but can someone pay for this stuff. I have another delivery to make and you’re holding me up.” He held out his hand. “That will be $34.00 even.”

Britt gestured towards Finn. “He's got it.”

“I’ve got it?” He said incredulously.

“I’ve been in prison. I don’t have a credit card or cash. How am I supposed to pay him? And he’s here now so stop being cheap. You’re a doctor, not an intern. Now pay the man and tip him well too.”

“Fine.” Finn pulled his wallet from his pocket and counted out the bills before handing into the delivery man and closing the door behind him. Anna stepped forward and gestured towards the second floor. “Britt go upstairs. There are towels in the bathroom. Go get settled then.”

“Fine, but I’m taking these with me.” The bucket of chicken was cradled tenderly under one arm and the six-pack of beer securely held in her other hand.

“Whatever, just go.” Anna waved her on her way. Her shoulders slumped in exasperation and soon a Britt left the room.

“And remind me again why we are babysitting a criminal instead on going to Provence?” Finn looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“You know why. She’s a little rough around the edges but she’s going to get me what I want. Believe me, if I could put her somewhere else I would. But I trust her as far as I can throw her so keeping her close by is best until we can get her to General Hospital and start phase two. You are ready for your part, yeah?”

“Yes, I’ve already placed the order for the tests tomorrow. And I think that I am owed a little bit of gratitude for laying aside my Hippocratic oath for this scheme.”

“Oh come on. Britt signed the WSB’s waiver and so did you when you agreed to be my backup. Besides all this is for the greater good. Your oath is to do no harm. You're not harming her...well not permanently.”

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or concerned by how excited you are at the prospect of me infecting her with a virus.

“I’m not excited...ok maybe I’m a little excited. I’m just glad I have her here where I can keep an eye on her. Now that she’s getting settled why don’t you head back to the MetroCourt to get some sleep? God knows I haven’t been letting you get any since I came home. I’ll handle her from here.”

“You want me to leave? No way!”

“I’ve got it under control.”

“And what if she- I don’t know- decides to slit your throat in the middle of the night?”

“Ok, one that's a little dramatic and two how would you help in that situation exactly?”

“I don’t know. I could stitch you up or provide first aid in some way- the point is I’m not going anywhere. Besides you do owe me for taking me to prison instead of a romantic getaway.”

Anna walked over and took Finn’s hand in her own and smiled apologetically. She gave him a look that went right under his skin and made him feel as if she could see right inside his soul.

“I’m sorry if being with me is not always conventional. I’m sure it’s frustrating.” Finn ran his hand down the side of her face and tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. Eyes he had missed for the past three weeks more than he could say.

“I like being with you precisely because you are unconventional.”

Finn decided to take a chance and pulled her to him. He kissed her deeply and he felt Anna respond in kind. He decided to take another chance. As they say, you have to play to win.

“She’s probably going to be in the shower for a while. We could head upstairs…”

“Finn…”

“What if we’re quick but I make it worth your while.”

She sighed and shook her head. He thought he had lost but thrilled when she took his hand and led him swiftly up the stairs to her bedroom. They were alone and Anna’s heart thudded, a rush of heat running through her as she felt his hands pull at blouse, untucking it from her waistband. His hands found her bare skin and roamed up her sides. Her hand clasped the back of his neck and brought their lips together. Finn pulled back only to turn his attention to her collarbone, one of his favorite parts of her. The feeling made her smile and she wrapped her arms around him as she enjoyed the sensation.

She cared about him, missed him, wanted to be with him; these were all varying ways of saying a word that her heart was yearning to say but her mind usually held in check. But now, here in the middle of a mission, Anna was overwhelmed by the urge to say it. This probably was not the right time, but then again maybe there was no right time. Maybe this moment was as right as it needed to be. Just him and her laying their feelings bare after a separation. She felt certain that Finn felt it too, that he felt this pull between him that was more than just butterflies. This was respect and trust and admiration and...love. While she had been gone she couldn’t keep the thought of telling him once and for all that she loved him out of her mind. She pulled back slightly so she could look at his beautiful eyes and they looked back quizzically into hers.

“Finn?”

“Yes?” He was curious. Something was on her mind but he didn’t know what.

“I have something I want to say to you.”

“Anything.”

“It’s a good thing, but It’s difficult to say. I’m not sure how to begin or what I’m even saying...”

Finn smiled and held her tight. “How about you start at the beginning.”

She flushed and looked down, unable to meet his eyes. She finally took a deep breath and plunged ahead, hoping that she hadn’t misjudged his feelings for her but knowing that she needed to get it out or she might burst.

“Alright. I thought about us a lot when I was away and there is something that I felt that I needed to say to you when I got back and here it goes. Finn I-”

Her declaration was interrupted by the sound of a large crashing noise emanating from the bathroom to the left of them. They grew still and quiet, listening. Anna motioned for Finn to back away and she instinctively reached behind her back feeling for her gun only to remember that she had left it in her safe during their trip to Pentonville. Her brain began to move into overdrive as the adrenaline kicked in. Maybe Liesl had somehow gotten wind of their plan and had one of her own in place. Without hesitation, Anna kicked the door open.

She was greeted by a column of steam pouring from the open door and it took a moment for it to dissipate enough for her to see. Once she could focus her blood began to boil. Britt was seated in her bathtub engulfed in a heap of bubbles that spilled onto the tile floor. Water was sopping over the sides as Britt shimmied to and fro in the water. She appeared to be listening to music through the earbuds she was wearing and ones that Anna recognized as her own. Cradled in her arm was the bucket of fried chicken and she was alternating between eating and washing each bite down with a swig of beer. Empty bottles were strewn here and there like flotsam and jetsam, adding to the chaos of the scene. Once Anna had a moment to absorb the shock she walked over and pulled the earbud from Britt’s ear sharply.

“Hey! What gives!” Britt was startled enough to drop her fried chicken bucket. it disappeared into the soapy abyss, its contents set adrift.

“What the hell are you doing?” Anna put her face close to Britt’s so she could not avoid her gaze which flashed with anger. “This is my bathroom. I told you what room you are in.”

“But that one didn’t have a bath and I’ve had enough of showers in Pentonville. If you want my help I’m taking a bath.”

“You already signed the WSB agreement so negotiations are over. Hurry up and get out!”

“Geez fine. I’ll be out in a minute.” She tilted her head and looked past Anna at Finn standing helplessly back in the bedroom. “But hey Doc feel free to come in and take a closer look if you want.”

“No thanks. I’m good.” Finn blushed and turned around quickly.

“I’m sure you are. Nice work by the way Anna. Looks like you’ve got your groove back after Duke.”

“We are done talking. Just hurry up and get out!” Anna stalked out of the room with Finn trailing behind her until she reached the living room. The string of profanity that streamed out under her breath was impressive and he hadn’t realized that Anna Devane had such an extensive vocabulary of curse words and in so many different languages. Once they returned to the first floor of her home she paced for a few moments before Anna sat on the couch with her head in her hands. Finn eyed her cautiously. He looked over at her in an attempt to gauge her level of rage. From the look on he face, he felt like she was hovering somewhere between icy cold and volcanic.

“Breathe.” he encouraged

“I am breathing.”

“There is a difference between breathing and seething.”

She leaned back and closed her eyes, taking a few centering breaths. “I’m fine. I’m calm.”

“Ok. Good.” Finn took a seat next to her but thought better of trying to touch her at that moment. He wasn’t that stupid.

They sat in silence until the sound of a door closing and footsteps on the staircase gave notice of Britt’s imminent arrival. They could hear her before they could see her and Anna ran her hand over he face in an attempt to retain the sense of calm she had managed to find.

“Ok, that bedroom you have me in makes me feel seasick. It has to be a cruel and unusual punishment to be surrounded by so much pink. Of course, Emma would grow into the embodiment of girly cliches.”

As she came into view Anna’s eye narrowed and all thoughts of remaining calm were out the window. Britt’s hair was damp from the bath and was running a brush through her hair and she had clothed herself in Anna’s favorite Isabel Marant blouse, the one that was a gift to herself because even her comfortable secret agent salary could not support such a purchase as often as she would like. At the sight of her Anna balled her fists tightly then she stood up and pointed directly towards the staircase.

“Go change now!” Anna’s voice held all of the strength and authority that she possessed and Britt stopped in her tracks immediately at the full sound of Agent Devane. She looked down at her attire and stood up a little straighter at the tone.

“Into what? My clothes smell like a bar thanks to Lulu.”

“I set out a pair of pajamas for you. Wear those.”

“But it's not even that late!.”

“It is for you. You are not going anywhere or having any visitors.”

“Can’t I invite a few people over?”

“No, absolutely not.”

“Uhhhh! I hate you!”

“You can go to your room for the rest of the evening unless you start to behave better. Now put that shirt back in my closet where you found it. Immediately!” Anna thundered.

Finn’s eyes opened like saucers and he gaped openly at the scene in front of him. Somehow this woman, that most would consider petite, could fill any space with a presence so large and commanding that it could make even the most hardened person cower. Britt was no match and without another word, she stomped her way back up the stairs. Finn flinched at the sound of the door slamming shut. He turned and looked at Anna in awe.

“Wow.”

“She is infuriating. I was having flashbacks to going at it with Robin. God knows what Britt Westbourne was like as a teenager and how she made it out alive.”

“Well, your...resolve was impressive. Are you worried that she might try to slip out? ”

“That’s it!” Anna picked up her cell phone and began dialing, “I’m not going to take any chances of her sneaking out in the night so I’m going to arrange for perimeter surveillance until we can get her to the hospital.” She left the room to make arrangements while Finn meditated on witnessing Anna Devane taking charge. It was always...stimulating to say least. Soon she re-entered the room.

“They will be sending a team over in two hours.”

“So what do we do in the meantime?”

“We sit up and watch.” Anna sat down on the couch and crossed her legs. Her foot tapped repeatedly on the underside of the coffee table in agitation

“I’ll go make a pot of coffee. Tea for you?” Taking in her energy for a moment Finn thought that herbal tea would probably be best even though he knew she would roll her eyes at him.

Anna finally looked up and smiled wanly at him. “That’s ok. You don’t have to serve me you know. I can get it myself.”

“But I want to.” Finn took a chance that her equilibrium had returned and punctuated his sentence with a kiss on her lips and a smile. Anna smiled back and settled deeper into the couch. Finn couldn’t help but claim her lips again, then he left the room and soon returned with two cups and saucers. He passed one to Anna and seated himself next to her.

“I’m glad Roxy’s not here. There's no telling what she would do to her.”

“Roxy’s probably missing you. I’m sure she had your undivided attention while I was gone.” Anna stirred her tea absentmindedly and then stopped to tuck a stray strand behind her ear. Finn’s breath caught in his throat for a moment at the sight of her. A feeling of relief that she was back and safe washed over him. Finn set his cup down gently and turned towards her.

“I know I said it already but I’m glad your home. This was our first, I guess you could say, planned separation. At the end of it, I liked finding you in my room a whole lot better than Robert telling me you’ve been abducted.”

“And I liked having you to come home to.”

“Anytime.”

It was still after all this time miraculous to Finn that they had come together in this way. He had wanted to be with her for so long, but even after he finally made his successful romantic overture he never anticipated anything as they had become. At some point, he felt that they had become a true team. Finn gathered Anna into his arms and she nestled her head on his shoulder. He caressed the length of her arm and felt her shiver and he smiled. He was glad that the heat between them was based on far more than just desire. As glorious as that was, Finn knew they enjoyed each other minds and wit as much as their bodies. He took to softly stroking her hair as he enjoyed the feel of her. They stayed this way until the clock chimed out eleven times. As it sounded through the room they sat together in silence, both cherishing each other’s touch.

“Do you think it’s safe to say that Britt’s headed to bed, and dare we hope, asleep?”

“Well, she hasn’t made any noise for quite a while. And I haven’t gotten a call telling me she’s crawling out the window so I’ll take that as a positive sign that maybe we can try to head to bed ourselves.”

Finn stood up and held his hands to help her to her feet. He pursed his lips as he had a habit of doing when he was trying not to smile but Anna craved the look of his upturned lips so she smiled and laughed knowing that she would be able to draw it out of him that way. The sweet sound of her laughter left Finn happy and buoyant. Anna picked up her cup and saucer in one hand and placed the other in his. It was Finn’s turn to lead her upstairs.

Once the door was closed and locked behind them, Finn opened a drawer in her bureau that she had set aside for his things and quickly changed into his usual nighttime ensemble of t-shirt and sweats. He hung his suit carefully in his part of the closet and watched amused as Anna peeked into the bathroom and quickly shut the door. She leaned her back against it with a beleaguered look on her face.

“I think I’m going to have to have to call in HAZMAT if I ever want it to be the same again.” 

Finn smiled and took the cup she still held from her hands and walked to his side of the bed. He set it on the nightstand before pulling back the comforter on the bed and slipping underneath. He fluffed the pillow and placed it under his head and then opened his arms in an inviting gesture.

Anna’s body responded instinctively. She was inwardly pleased with his playfulness and appreciated how the shirt he wore delineated the muscles of his chest and arms. She couldn’t help but be riveted by his physicality and the mental image of him had left her distracted during more than one intelligence briefing. She smiled and followed his lead by changing into her nighttime attire, taking note of his eyes on her while she changed. Then she crossed the room quickly, crawled across the bed and into his warm embrace. She sighed contentedly and was happy that he had decided to stay and she had let him stay.

“This is better.” Finn’s voice was low and wicked and his arms enveloped her further clearly indicating his intentions.

“Mmmmm...it is.” Her lips found his as his hand lingered at her hip playing with the waistband of her pajamas. Anna’s breath hitched at the sensation of his fingers on her skin. She felt the pulse of arousal hum through her body. Decisively, she reached down to his waist, tugged at the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head until he was free of it. His hands moved up to cup her face and he kissed her deeply until she gasped against his mouth. Anna slid her hands down Finn’s back, pulling him closer. He felt so good and she was glad to be home. His hands moved to the buttons of her pajama top and his lips trailed slowly down her neck. Anna arched her back at the sensation.

Tap Tap Tap

Finn and Anna froze at the sound of tapping on the bedroom door. She pushed his hands away and sat up quickly. Anna tried to regulate the rate of her breathing to a normal level before responding.

“Yes? What is it?”

A muffled response came from the other side of the door. “It’s cold in my room.”

Anna rolled her eyes and Finn shook his head and ran his hands through hair.

“There are blankets in the closet!” She hollered back.

They listened for a moment and heard nothing but silence in answer. After a few moments, Anna lay back down. Finn leaned over her and brushed his body against hers.

“Where were we?” Anna’s breath quickened. Finn’s voice was rough and seemed to roll through her body like an earthquake through sand sending shivers along her skin and adding to her desire. Anna’s hands were in his hair and she shifted her body underneath his. Finn’s arms were around her and he kissed her long and deep. His fingers moved to the buttons of her top stopping their journey only to caress each inch of flesh exposed by the task. His lips kissed down her sternum and over the ridge of her ribcage, across her belly and continued their journey south. He ran his thumbs along the line where her hips and thighs met and leaned down to kiss her hip bone.

“Mmmm,” she responded, stretching her arms above her head in anticipation of what she knew was coming next.

Knock Knock Knock

Finn’s hands stilled and he broke away from her. Anna sat up and drew her knees up to her chest as she rubbed her temples in vexation.

“For crying out loud, what now?” Anna called out in aggravation. Finn reached over to rub her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. Finn felt that keeping Anna calm would be best for her and definitely best for Britt if she was to survive the night.

“There’s a weird noise. It's keeping me up.”

“It’s just the radiator. There are earplugs in the nightstand. Now go to sleep!”

Anna flopped back down on the bed and held her breath, listening for any more noise or movement. They lay in the dark for what seemed like an eternity until she was sure that they were not going to receive any more nighttime interruptions. Despite the darkness, in the room, Finn could feel her finally relax. The interruptions had just sharpened his need for her. He leaned in to take her mouth in a deep searching kiss as he pressed against her. Anna yielded immediately. She wanted him, she needed him. She moaned as his hands skimmed over her body, setting sparks on her skin.

“Finn,” she panted his name as tension built within her. Anna kissed him back her legs curling up so her hips could meet his.

“God...Anna.” Finn’s hands tightened on her hips. He was done waiting.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

They both jumped in surprise as the headboard thumped against the wall from the force of the blows on the other side of it and the sound of fine china cracking as it hit the floor announced that the nightstand had experienced the impact as well.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

“These walls are THIN! I can HEAR YOU! These earplugs aren’t ENOUGH, YA KNOW!”

“That’s it. I’m going to kill her!” Anna threw the blankets aside and started to get up. Finn grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!. I really don’t want you going to prison for murder.”

“It would be a crime of passion. After what I have endured today, no jury would convict me.”

“Not a chance I’m willing to take. What happened to you sucking it up and dealing with her for your son’s sake? You still want to find Obrecht, right?”

“You just don’t want to be named an accomplice.”

“True. That would put a damper on my medical career.” Finn coaxed her back into his arms. “Hey, come here.” She lay her head on his chest and sighed in resignation.

“See? Isn’t that nice? It’s fine. We can just lay here and hold one another.”Finn buried his nose into her hair, breathing in deep the scent of her shampoo combined with her perfume. She stilled when he pressed a kiss to her temple, but then when her fingers traced his chest they felt soft and warm against his skin. His arms tightened around her as if he was worried she would vanish.

“I guess it will have to do.” She said lazily. Anna let out a small huff that adequately expressed her irritation at having to wait and Finn appreciated it greatly. He couldn’t get enough of being wanted by her. He kissed her temple again in silent apology for the delay. He felt the weight of her head settle against his chest as she relaxed against him. Finn squeezed her again, thanking her for her restraint.

“Anyway Mad Doctor Jr. is headed to GH tomorrow and I promise I will make it up to you.”

“Make it up to me how exactly?” She lifted her head to look him in the eye. Her eyebrow arched in skeptically.

“Oh I’m going to let that be a surprise,” Finn leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. “ But I promise you can be as loud as you want.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faison's death does nothing to relieve Anna's nightmares and she wrestles with her decision to push Finn away for his protection.

Devane Manor

Anna awoke in a panic, her heart racing. The remnants of her nightmare flashed as she struggled to get her bearings. She was engulfed in the feeling of overwhelming dread. A cold sweat covered her body making her skin gleam in the faint violet light that strayed into the room through the tall windows, the setting sun was ceding its throne to the cold moon. The shadows filled the room like fantasms, ghosts of the past haunting her present. As her senses began to adjust to the darkness she realized she was lying on her couch in her living room. The pain in her neck, and the hardbound book facedown on the floor, it's pages splayed out, told her that she had fallen asleep while reading again. Nowadays it seemed to be the only way to coax her mind into quieting long enough for sleep to come but now- the nightmares were back and this cycle was just beginning again. 

Even with Cesar Faison dead she still couldn’t escape his reign of terror. In Bern, Robert had said she needed to take time to rest and to heal. The advice was well meant but how could she forget him if even in sleep he still tormented her. It always began the same. The acrid smell of a cigarillo in the air. Faison pointing a gun at Finn. Faison screaming that she was his destiny. Finn pleading for her to run. The deafening sound of the gun. The sight of Finn’s blue eyes, cold and lifeless, as she tried desperately to stop the flood of red hot blood flowing from his chest. Faison telling her that another obstacle between them had been removed but his voice was drowned out by the keening sound of her own weeping.

Anna didn’t fear death, she had been conditioned not to. It was only through her loved ones that she was vulnerable. The nightmares just reinforced the truth of this. Finn refused to understand this truth. His words echoed in her memory.

You're denying what you feel. You can’t tell me that is what you want.

How could she even begin to explain to him that this had nothing to do with what she wanted. Rather than understanding the danger she posed to him, he had wanted to run towards her, to jump in with both feet. But he was just a moth to a flame, not understanding that all that she could offer to him was the means of his own destruction.

You’re complicated and you lead a dangerous life and that's not fair to the people you care about.

No, it wasn’t fair, this life. And, there was no way out. Those choices were stripped from her ages ago when she was too young to understand the implications of her career path. She had once told Robert that the price to personal happiness that the WSB commanded was too high. And she had been right, the cost was too high, but what she didn’t realize at the time was that it was a debt that could never be paid.

Faison’s death really changed little. If it wasn’t him that was a threat there would always be another. Adversaries both named and unnamed. She would always be a danger to those she loved. Anna had been heartbroken when Robin, Patrick, and Emma moved to California but in the back of her mind, she felt a small sense of relief that they would not so easily be targeted by any enemies that came to Port Charles looking for leverage against her.

The darkness grew and Anna had no idea of how long she had been sitting with her thoughts. Suddenly she knew what she needed to do. Anna grabbed her coat and headed out the door.

The Port Charles Harbor

Anna found herself on standing on the pier as she used to in the old days. Staring at the water, remembering. Anna took a moment to check her surroundings. She was alone, the dock was deserted so she let the tears fall. The cracks in her armor began to deepen. She felt frail as if she would shatter at the lightest touch. No amount of time could ease the pain. For a small sliver of time, she thought that there had been someone who could restore her heart. It had begun to beat with renewed strength, on the verge of opening, eager for companionship but also more susceptible to loss. Her distracted thoughts made her unaware that she was being observed.

Finn’s mind contemplated the woman standing in front of him. From a distance, she looked composed, as if nothing out of the ordinary was troubling her. But Finn knew better and as he walked closer he could see the dark shadows under her eyes betray her weariness. She was attempting to hold on to her air of self-possession but he can see the facade crumbling ever so slightly. He was close enough to see a twitch at the corner of her eye that matched the tiredness on her face. Her eyes darted to and fro as she looked out into the dark water. Finn felt a sharp pang in his heart. Their eyes met but Anna turned away quickly. Finn thought about turning around but instead, he approached slowly. If only he could make her understand that they were capable of handling the world together.

Anna’s thoughts were interrupted by a familiar warmth standing behind her. She felt his hand rest on her shoulder, a gesture that took her by surprise but she did not startle. The steadiness of his body pressed against her back. She inhaled sharply at the unexpected contact but her soul-weariness overwhelmed her and before her mind could rationalize what was happening she leaned back against him. Immediately Finn’s arms were around her holding her firmly.

“Anna. I just want to help.” Finn’s voice was soft but with a roughness that made her heart beat faster than before. The striking gentleness in his tone took her by surprise but he didn’t press her further. She didn’t respond but turned and looked up, his face filled with unfeigned concern. What she wanted to see was his eyes, bright and alive. The comfort of his gaze on her began to calm the uproar of emotion in her heart. She took a moment to commit him to memory. Tall, handsome, alive. Her arms went around him and she held on for dear life. Anna allowed herself to linger over memories of comfortable evenings and laughter, remembrances rose-colored and warm. She thought of their never-to-be future. She had the urge to apologize. She was sorry for being reckless with his life but she also wanted to plead for him to understand she didn’t mean to care. Their eyes did not leave each other for a long moment. On impulse, she reached to brush the hair back from his face. The warmth of his body radiated through the layers of wool and cotton. She imagined embracing him in another time, under different circumstances. She swallowed her feelings and attempted to smother those thoughts. She didn’t want him to let go yet, but she was ashamed of her weakness.

Finn watched as the lines of her face deepened, and the echoes of grief, old and new were apparent. Her gaze became more sorrowful and then stern. She didn’t speak a word but her eyes spoke volumes. She was engaged in a battle with her feelings for him. He remembered when she first made an impression on him. Her hard stare was not like the look of impish glee that had sparkled in her eyes as she blackmailed him into her life, instead, it was sad and worried. He couldn’t bear it. His own eyes dropped overpowered with emotion, unable to look at her. Finn felt a sharp stab in his chest that had nothing to do with physical pain. What he felt was anger, an emotion that he very rarely let himself feel. He was angry at the situation, at the life that prevented Anna from following her heart. If she could, he was certain that she would choose him, choose “us.” As his thoughts returned to the present moment, he could see her make a conscious effort to push the sadness away. He wished he could take her sorrow away even if for a moment. Suddenly, she pulled away.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“Anna-”

“No. It’s my fault. It won’t happen again.” Before he could respond Anna turned on her heel and walked quickly away. Finn knew there was no use following. As she receded into the distance, Finn reached into his pocket and drew something out. He looked at the piece of cold pressed metal in his hand. It was the key to her house. He had kept it. He didn’t know why but it always found its way with him wherever he went. His thumb rubbed over the bright steel which had grown more brilliant over the past month as his fingers ran over it like a worry stone. He had thought it wasn’t necessary but once he had lost it and it was when he was in the middle of tearing his MetroCourt room apart that it occurred to him that it held more significance than he wanted to admit. Losing it was losing her. She had sent him away but he wasn’t ready for the finality of that decision. So her key stayed with him. He turned and walked away hoping that maybe somewhere in time he and Anna Devane could have their chance. But for the life of him, he didn’t know if that would ever be possible.

Devane Manor

Anna climbed the stairs to her bedroom feeling bone weary and heart-sick. She left a trail of garments in her wake as she walked straight to her bedroom. She reached into her dresser drawer and drew out a dark blue men’s dress shirt. She smoothed her hands over the fabric and lifted it to her face and let the soft linen touch her cheek then she pulled it on. She took a moment to fold up the cuffs. A smile came to her face as she remembered the sight of Finn rolling up his sleeves just to unroll them a moment later. He always did that and she would never dream of pointing that out to him. She loved the picture he made engaged in habitual motion. She was sure he could point out her own habits as well.

Once she was dressed in his clothes the dam broke. The tears pooled in her eyes and one blink sent them on their way, cascading down her cheek and into the collar of the shirt. She swallowed a sob as the tears fell unchecked. Anna crawled into bed and pulled the blankets over her head. She could only hope that Finn’s touch, the one that she could still feel burning on her skin would be a talisman against the monsters that haunted her dreams. Fortunately, luck was on her side and she fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna and Finn are desperate for alone time but find a barrier in the form of Robert Scorpio.

Anna and Finn’s Manor

The room was silent except for the faint sound of Robert and Anna’s rapid-fire exchange happening in the kitchen. He strained to listen for a moment and he smiled to himself. It sounded as if whatever they were discussing was less quarrelsome than Sonny Corinthos. He’d never really seen anything quite like Anna Devane and Robert Scorpio. Two people, who in one moment could almost share the same brain and then fight like cats and dogs the next. Finn knew better than to get into the middle of them but he couldn’t deny they were entertaining to watch. It was clear there was a deep loyalty and understanding between them that only a lifetime of shared experiences, both heartwarming and heartbreaking, could produce. And, Finn could appreciate the subtle territorial nature that Robert displayed where she was concerned. Robert Scorpio would suffer no fool when it came to Anna Devane’s happiness. Finn was certain he could reassure Robert that he was up to the challenge of loving a woman as layered as Anna. Somehow loving this complicated woman was the most uncomplicated thing in the world. Her bravery was astounding and he drew strength from it. If she could face this situation with resolve, then he would rise to the occasion also. He took a moment to indulge in the memory of their last kiss, the feel of her hand on his face and the softness of her hair. The sound of heels on tile and an exasperated sigh announced her return to the room. Finn watched as Anna walked back into the room and perched herself on the back of the sofa and crossed her legs. Like always, she had his full attention.

Finn tried to redirect his thoughts by picking up a book and leafing through the dusty pages, but all he could focus on was the long line of her neck. Anna tilted her head to the side while looking at the stack of books piled on the table next to the chair Finn was settled into. She leaned forward to take a closer look at the titles etched into the spines of the thick medical textbooks. As she did Finn couldn’t help but notice how the angle, combined with the low cut of her blouse, gave him a clear view of her. Finn swallowed and struggled to ignore the soft curve of her breast tucked into her black, bra but he was failing. Finn did his best to prevent images of her from pouring into his mind but this was a game he was not going to win.

“Ahem.” Finn’s attention was captured by the sound of Anna clearing her throat. He dragged his eyes away from her decolletage and looked up into her eyes. She had caught him staring so blatantly at her and she arched her brown warningly at him. But, the smile on her lips let him know the attention was not unwanted.

Anna stood up and walked towards the window, looking out at the violet sky as it slowly turned navy. Soon, the stars would be out. She could still feel him watching her. She smiled at the warm feeling spreading from her heart through her limbs, yet Anna felt guilty in a way, letting her emotional state get in the way of an investigation. She knew she needed to focus on the task at hand. Finn’s concern for her state of mind always left her feeling buoyant but the sensation of his lips on hers and his hand on the back of her head had woken up her whole body. She knew from the way he was looking at her he felt it too. She turned back around and when their eyes met Anna inhaled slowly as the air grew heavy with the desire that blossomed between them.

Finn’s eyes were bright and she could read hunger and want flickering in his clear blue irises. She knew her’s were reflecting the same feelings. To say the last few days had been bewildering, was an understatement. Between the hospital stay, her sojourn with Peter at the police station, Robert’s return, and Kevin’s strange behavior, they hardly had a moment to themselves. Sneaking by with only a clasp of hands here and there or a quick peck on the lips to keep physical contact. Their need for each other had been held in check. But now the dam was breaking from the weight of one lingering kiss and it threatened to carry them away.

Anna walked back and resumed her position on the edge of the couch. She crossed her legs and they gazed at each other. Impulsively Finn reached out and ran his finger up the smooth skin of her calf to the sensitive area behind her knee. His hand made its way just under the edge of her skirt and her breath hitched sharply.

“Good work finding Cabot’s name. Now we are getting somewhere. It looks like you aren’t useless after all.”

The sound of a loud gruff voice from the kitchen sent them scurrying apart. Robert entered the room but didn’t seem to notice their flustered appearance. Anna turned away and brought her hand to the base of her neck then smoothed her skirt nervously. Finn ran his fingers through his hair and picked up the nearest tome and began to leaf through it quickly.

“Thanks…I guess,” Finn answered.

Robert clapped his hands together and rubbed them vigorously. “Alright well let’s get back to it. We found one Arthur Cabot reference and there are bound to be others.” Robert reached for the book at the top of the pile, it was a mottled green color and it was unclear if that was by design or time itself had left its mark on cover.

They all sat in silence, books in hand, the only sound was that of pages turning. Finn found himself looking back at Anna. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and reached to massage the back of her neck and rolled her head from side to side as if trying to relieve the tension in her muscles. His fingers itched to knead the weariness from her. He looked back at the page, but the printed words wouldn’t come into focus. Finn snapped his book shut. To hell with it. He couldn’t concentrate on anything at this point. All Finn knew is that he needed to be alone with the woman he loved as soon as possible. But how he would actually accomplish this at the moment, was beyond him. He looked at his watch and got an idea.

“You know what...uh...it's getting late and I have an early day at GH tomorrow so maybe we should all just call it a night and we can work on this tomorrow with fresh eyes.”

Finn stood up and placed his book down on the pile. Anna looked at him out of the corner of her eye and then resumed looking at the page in front of her. Finn could tell she was holding her breath. Robert raised his eyebrows and nodded his head in agreement. Finn felt relief at his response.

“Sure, no problem. You can turn in and Anna and I can work on it ourselves. I’ll go put on a pot of coffee, grab another scone and we’ll settle in for the evening. We can work through the night, just like the old days. Right, Annie?” Robert reached over and slapped Anna on the thigh and she started in surprise. He got swatted hard on the shoulder in response.

“Uh...oh...well.” Anna looked at Finn, her eyes begging him to help her out of a long night of research. She knew what they both wanted. Finn looked at her helplessly, not knowing what to say or do to give Robert the hint.

“Ok then...I guess I’ll just say goodnight then.” Finn turned and began to walk towards the stairs, he was trying desperately to come up with a plan. He got as far as halfway up the staircase when suddenly an idea dawned on him. He snapped his fingers, turned around and walked back into the room.

“Oh, wait...you know what? I forgot something. Anna, have you looked at the time?”

Anna tilted her head in confusion. She didn’t know where his question was leading.

“Um...yes...it’s getting late.”

“That’s right it’s way past time for your treatment.” She noticed Finn looking at her hard as if trying to communicate something to her. She shrugged ever so slightly at him to telegraph that she had no idea what he was trying to accomplish. “My treatment…,” she repeated.

“What treatment?” Robert asked.

Finn walked over to his medical bag and took out a small bottle and an eye dropper.

“Anna is still under the optic surgeon’s treatment protocol for her vitreous hemorrhage. Uh...since the neovascularization from the proliferative retinopathy was the cause of her blindness, a laser panretinal photocoagulation was performed. And it’s still possible for the residual hemorrhage to cause regression of neovascularization.” Anna blinked in shock, then smiled at him, thoroughly impressed. She nodded as if she understood any of what he had just said.

Finn nodded back at her and continued, “She has to have these eye drops administered to treat the after-effects of her surgery.”

Anna looked at Robert and shrugged in apology. Then she looked at Finn with admiration. Finn’s genius as a doctor was one of his most alluring, and to be honest, arousing qualities.

“Oh. Well, fine then, go ahead so we can get back to work.” Robert returned to leafing through the large book in his hands.

“Well, that's just it. The drops have to be in for at least eight hours and they have to be administered...while lying down.” Anna’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but Finn continued. “And, they dilate the pupils so she needs to be in complete darkness.”

Anna stood up and crossed her arms. She put a hint of exasperation in her voice and matched it with the look on her face. “I mean I’m sure I could put it off for one night. Robert’s right we have a lot to get through. And Finn you know I hate having things put in my eyes.”

“And compromise your recovery? Robert, you aren’t going to let her be that cavalier with her health are you? Back me up here.”

“He’s right Anna. We’re trying to get to the bottom of your blindness. You won’t be any good to us if everything goes dark again.”

“Oh, thank you for the encouragement,” she said dryly.

Robert shot her a look and then returned his attention to Finn. “Listen, I’ll be back first thing in the morning and we can finish our research. And, hey! You take good care of her and don’t let her give you any grief. Hold her down if you have to.”

Anna strangled a cough at his response and she couldn’t help but notice when Finn flushed all the way to his ears at Robert’s comment. She smiled slyly. “Oh don’t worry. I promise to cooperate fully,” she said innocently.

Robert stood up and walked to the foyer and donned his jacket. Finn followed and opened the door for him. Robert started to leave and then gestured for Finn to lean in a little closer.

“Careful. She’s got that look in her eye. I know it well. Try not to get injured.” Robert patted a speechless Finn on the shoulder.

“Goodnight!” He said loudly, waved towards Anna and walked out of the house.

Finn hurried to close the door and turned the deadbolt.

He turned to see Anna standing in the middle of the living room. She looked at him with an intensity that made his blood run hot, then cold through his body. Suddenly, they were both at each other like a shot. Finn set her on the edge of the couch and let his hand feel the shapely legs that were under her red skirt while the other felt the taut skin of her back. Anna pulled at the tie at her waist, undoing the fastenings of her blouse until she could shrug out of it. She felt Finn feel for the zipper of her skirt and tug it down swiftly. Soon, she was divested of any articles of clothing that were a barrier to his exploration of her body.

She arched towards him and moved his hands, guiding them to all of the areas of her body that ached for his attention. Her teeth grazed his bottom lip and he groaned, pulling her closer. His lips were on her neck and he gently returned the favor by running his teeth over her smooth skin. He was careful to soothe any redness his attentions left behind with a soft kiss. Anna brought her hand to the back of his neck, she pulled back and pinned him with her eyes. Something wicked gleamed in their depths and Finn felt his whole body flush from the way she looked at him.

“You don’t need to worry.” She smiled and pulled on his tie to bring him closer.

“What do you mean?” Excitement ran through him mixed with curiosity.

“I’m saying there is no need to be gentle tonight. In fact, I’d rather you’d not.” She lifted herself up to her tiptoes and nibbled at the underside of his jaw.

Finn’s world seemed to turn sideways as his brain took a moment to comprehend what she was insinuating. Finn swept her into his arms, hot sparks igniting as he kissed her. They were both breathless, each in a hurry to devour the other. Anna reached for the top button of his vest but when it would not part under her fingers quick enough she grabbed a handful of fabric with each hand and pulled with all her strength. Buttons shot in every direction. His shirt was her next victim.

They would never make it upstairs, instead, Anna pulled Finn to the couch. His lips lingered on her skin and she gasped at the pressure of his teeth on her shoulder. She knew it would leave a mark. The thought excited her and reduced her to warm liquid that pooled in her center. All restraint was forgotten. Fingers pressed, nails raked, and voices urged for more until their desire was extinguished in each other.

Anna woke up to the light streaming into their bedroom window. She felt warm and snug and reached her hand over to the other side of the bed but found it empty. She opened one eye and looked at the vacant spot where Finn should have been. Her disappointment cleared when she saw the unmade bed and tangle of crumpled sheets. She smiled at the memory of their evening of passion. They had been overcome by basic, unapologetic lust and it had been exactly what Anna needed to clear her mind. She took a moment to stretch limbs and found her muscles felt sore. She reached for her robe and slung it on. As she walked by the bureau mirror she stopped short. Her hair was unruly, her skin flushed and there were two marks that she could count, one on her shoulder and one on her clavicle. She would have to leave off wearing anything low cut in favor of something that would cover the traces of last night’s exploits. She remembered the blue shirt she purchased, still hanging in her closet. Its high neckline will be just the thing to hide the fact that Finn more than honored her request to not be gentle. She smiled at her reflection and hurried her way downstairs.

Robed, shirtless and his hair disheveled, Finn busied himself making coffee and pouring hot water into Anna’s favorite teapot. He turned to hand her a cup as he heard her pad into the kitchen. The sight of her made him halt. Her satin robe hung off her shoulder and he could see the marks he left on her, the rosy splotch standing out against her pale skin. She looked at him, satisfied and undone. He smiled widely at her and looked at her adoringly. In turn, she ducked her eyes and smiled sheepishly.

Finn placed the cup on the counter and walked towards her, reaching out to touch her tousled hair, making her blush. Anna ran her hands over his shoulders, gently caressing the scratches she left on his skin last night. Finn’s arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him, his skin was warm. His eyes continued to gaze into hers, flickering with all of the emotions she brought to the surface. Right now, this Anna Devane was different than the poised WSB agent that the world was accustomed to, she was unpolished and wild and he knew how to make her tremble. His thumb stroked her cheek and he placed a kiss on her lips taking a moment to take a snapshot of her in his mind's eye. She sighed softly and leaned against him wrapping her arms around his waist. Finn rested his forehead against hers and Anna smiled at the feel of his hair falling softly against her face.

“Last night was incredible.” Anna grinned into the side of his neck breathing in the smell of him.

“Thank you. You weren’t so bad yourself.”

“We have a lot of work ahead of us today. We have to meet Robert at the MetroCourt and we have our leads to follow up on.”

“Ah, well, while you were lazing about in bed, I already did that. I’m waiting to hear back from my contact.”

“We should go get ready.” Anna planted a kiss on his lips. She leaned back and turned away but gasped in surprise when she felt Finn’s hands on her waist as he swiftly lifted her up and placed her on the kitchen counter.

“Not so fast. I haven’t said good morning yet.” Finn ran his hands down her smooth legs as he stood between her parted knees. His mouth was on hers, fingers tangled in her hair while Anna pulled at the sash of his robe.

“Well, let’s make it a good morning,” she breathed huskily as he trailed his lips down her neck. Her voice was daring and she loved feeling so unconstrained with him.

“Deal,” he replied.“


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is in the ER when Jordan is brought in with life-threatening injuries. Anna rushes to her friend's side. The implications of Dr. Cabot's experiment rattle them both.

General Hospital, Port Charles

It was just a coincidence that Finn was even in the ER at that moment. He had been called down to look a patient who had just returned from the Amazon with a suspicious rash that turned out to be your garden variety psoriasis and now he stood in thought as he drummed his fingers on the counter in monotony. He looked at the clock and was relieved to see that he had only one more hour until the end of his shift. Anna had left at his insistence. He knew she needed three times the amount of sleep that she had been getting recently but the night was so quiet he was regretting his decision. He wouldn’t have minded a quiet evening in the hospital if she had been there to keep him company. He thinks of the pile of paperwork that is waiting for his attention in his office but he stubbornly dismisses it from his mind. It can wait a little longer.

Suddenly the quiet was shattered by the sound of gurneys being rolled down the hallways of the hospital and the shouts of paramedics as they worked on the occupants. Finn stepped down and ran towards the ER receiving doors.

“What have we got!” He shouted to be heard above the noise and confusion. A pair of frazzled-looking EMTs were pushing a gurney containing a patient whose face was so blood-soaked it completed obscured their features. The EMT at the head of the gurney worked to wipe the gore away from the victim and keep the airway as clear as possible.

“We have a female, forties, she was hit by a car in a parking garage. Injuries are consistent with impact trauma. Pressure’s down to 80 and dropping fast. Her abdomen is swelling, so internal bleeding is a given.”

As they started to move past, Finn happened to finally catch a full view of the victim. As he came alongside he was in shock at what he found. The victim was Jordan Ashford. Finn started. Blood was everywhere, soaking the blanket that had been placed over her and seeping on to the gurney. He only missed a beat before, Finn’s instincts kicked in and he was able to recover. He nodded and pointed down the hallway.

“We need to intubate immediately. We need four units of O positive and put the blood bank on notice. Take her to Trauma 2.”, Finn stepped aside so she could be wheeled to her destination and made motions to follow but before he could take a step the doors to the ambulance bay burst open and two more paramedics came in pushing a gurney with what looked like a second casualty. Finn was once again greeted by a familiar face. Drew Cain 

“Patient is a male mid-forties. He was the driver of the vehicle that collided with the patient who just arrived. He is unconscious but stable. He sustained contusions to his ribs and we suspect fractures. We were able to speak to him before he passed out. He suffered from a loss of vision right before the accident.” Finn perked up at the mention of vision loss. It was happening again.

“Alright, trauma 3 and call me some backup. I can’t do this all on my own. Page Dr. Monroe and where the hell is Dr. Jones?”

Like flipping a switch, the General Hospital ER went from quiet to chaos in a matter of minutes. Nurses scrambled, paramedics scurried, the backup was paged and the room buzzed with shouts and commands. Gloved and gowned Finn entered Jordan’s trauma room and sized up the situation as quickly as he could. 

“Alright what have we got?”

“We started an IV, normal saline, got a portable chest and an EKG.”

The monitors began beeping alarmingly fast. In a split second, the monitor screeched out a long, sustained tone.

“Dammit, she’s in v-fib.”

Finn reached for the paddles. “Charge to one-fifty. Don’t touch the patient! Clear!” Jordan's limp body jumped as the electric current coursed through her.

“Still in v-fib.”

“Charge again...clear!”

“No change, Doctor.”

“Again! Clear!”

“An amp of epi, ten milligrams of dopamine IV push. Keep working people!”

Twenty minutes, three more amps of epi, a chest tube, and a lot of frustration and sweat later the monitor started to show the fruit of their labor. The regular beeping was reassuring. Finn felt like he could finally breathe, but rather than feeling relief Finn felt his anxiety rise.

“Go ahead and get her upstairs.” Finn barely registered the sound of gurney rails being snapped into place. He watched as if from a distance as Jordan was wheeled out of the room and he followed a few paces behind until he saw the elevator doors close. Finn leaned against the wall exhausted and the pieces began to slowly fall into place. Jordan Ashford was hit by a car driven by Drew Cain, who was stricken with blindness. Finn balled his fists and turned to pound his frustration onto the door of Trauma 2. This was proof positive that Anna had been right. There were other victims of Dr. Cabot’s insidious research and now Jordan was collateral damage. The implications of this washed through his body like an icy wave and for a moment Finn thought he might be sick. It hadn’t occurred to him until this moment how lucky they were that Anna had not been behind the wheel or some other precarious situation then her blindness had struck. She could have been wheeled into GH bleeding and broken, or worse dead.

This thought brought the image of her last will and testament to his mind unbidden. He remembered how his heart sank at the sight of it. That piece of paper had solidified in his mind that Anna was the woman he wanted to be with, for as long or as short a time as they had. He was done waiting and being polite in his feelings. And now he had her. Or perhaps it was the other way around, she had him. In any case, they were together and in love and happy. But as he thought of Jordan laid out on the operating table fighting for her life, the idea that one day it could be Anna chilled him to his soul. And then another thought occurred to him like a bolt out of the blue. Here he was a doctor and he had never asked her what her wishes were. Did she have a DNR? Had she set conditions for her removal from life support? How could he ensure her wishes were respected if he didn’t know what they were. Did she want to be cremated or buried? He wasn’t even sure where she kept those documents. This realization made him feel ashamed. He shook his head and pushed his feelings aside. He had another patient to attend to and set on his way to find where Drew had landed.

Anna and Finn’s Manor

The sound of heavy raindrops pelting on the window panes. The room was dark and cold. A dream was playing out in her subconscious. She awoke and sprang completely upright, her heart racing, her breathing rapid and her head pounding. She was alone and felt so very alone. She took control of her own breathing, slowing it down but her head continued to throb. She reached over to her nightstand and reached for a bottle of aspirin, her hands trembled causing her to struggle with the childproof lid. Her hand slipped and sent the small white pills flying in every direction but she had no energy to attend to the mess. Instead, she felt around on the mattress until she found two and downed them quickly chasing them with the half-full glass of water still sat on the nightstand from the previous night. She hoped the dull pain in her head would clear soon. The weariness washed over her again and she lay back on her pillow. She turned her head and looked at the empty space next to her. Finn was still at the hospital. She reached out to feel the blankets and sheets, they were cool to the touch telling her that he hadn’t slept there at all last night. She exhaled a breath she was holding. She missed him. She wished that he was there to hold her. She had become accustomed to the feel of him beside her.

A buzzing sound got her attention. The vibration from her phone was causing it to dance across the mahogany tabletop next to her. She reached for it and answered before she even registered the name of the caller. “Hello,” she said sleepily, pinching the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure behind her eyes.

“Anna? It’s Chase.”

Anna sat up at the sound of his voice. Her years of experience as a police chief and commissioner alerted her that something was wrong just by the tone of his voice. Her heart sank into her stomach.

“What’s happened?”

“It’s Jordan, Anna. Commissioner Ashford was in an accident. She was hit by a car and she is in really bad shape. She’s been brought to GH. I felt like you should know.”

“Thank you. I’ll be right there.”

Anna didn’t wait for the formality of goodbyes and disconnected the call and in a flash, she was out of bed and rushed to get into her clothes and out of the door.

 

General Hospital

Anna waited for the automated doors that led to the ER to open, cursing how slowly the glass doors moved apart and she slipped through them as soon as she reasonably could. She walked briskly towards the admitting desk her footfalls heavy on the tiled floor. Anna scanned the crowded hospital waiting room looking for familiar faces. Unexpectedly she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find herself looking into sympathetic eyes. It was Epiphany. Anna had never been so relieved to see a familiar face.

“You heard about Jordan.”

“Yes, where is she?”

“All I know is that she’s in surgery.”

“Is Finn with her?”

“I’m not sure. It’s been a whirlwind today. Give me a moment and let me see what I can find out.” She paused a moment to put her hand on Anna’s shoulder and Anna felt comfort flowing through her and was thankful for it. “ Anna, she’s a fighter.”

“I know. Thank you.” Anna wiped away the tears that flowed unchecked from her eyes. It was then, out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of him. Finn walked through the double doors of the OR. He looked tired. She broke away from Epiphany and her hurried steps soon turned into a jog and she raced to meet him.

“Finn!”

The familiar sound of Anna’s voice caused him to breathe a sigh of relief and his eyes shifted to and fro till he found her. His heart was pounding as he maneuvered through the crowd to reach her. He saw her striding towards him her hands outstretched, ready to take his into hers.

“Is she alright...?” Anna’s voice trailed off as he looked at her. Her eyes searched his clear blue eyes for reassurance.

Finn tried to stay composed, attempted to keep his worry at bay but he was suddenly overwhelmed with relief that she was still alive and well. That she was still with him. Anna must have seen the distress on his face and misinterpreted his meaning. Her face turned white and her she brought her hand to cover her mouth. Quickly Finn took her other hand in his and sought to dispel her fear.

“It’s ok. She came through the surgery. She’s not completely out of the woods but she is stable right now.”

Anna closed her eyes and took in a deep breath and nodded her thanks. Finn couldn’t stop himself. He scooped her into his arms and hugged her fiercely, his face was nestled in the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her. He felt her arms embrace him tightly and she brought a hand to cradle the back of his head and he could feel the warmth of her lips on his cheek. She seemed to know what was going through his mind. 

“I’m ok, Finn. I’m just fine.” she soothed him with her words and raked her fingers through his hair for comfort. “I’m still here.”

“But it could have been you.” He whispered low in her ear. He could feel her loosen herself from his embrace just enough for her to look into his eyes. He was so grateful that they were bright and their gaze was healing.

“But it wasn’t. And I had your brilliance on my side. And you cured me.” Anna caressed his cheek with the back of her hand and Finn caught it and pressed his lips to her palm. He then leaned in to kiss her forehead letting his lips linger before he released her.

“You were right Anna, about the other patients. Drew was struck blind, that’s why he hit Jordan. It was an accident. I need to head to the lab. I’m going to need to prepare to treat Drew and neutralize the virus.” 

“Can I see Jordan?”

“She should be in her room in ICU now. I’m sure Curtis will be with her but he could probably use some support right now too.” Finn looked over Anna’s shoulder and she turned her gaze behind to see Nurse Driscoll approaching them swiftly.

“Dr. Finn you are needed in the ER to consult on a case.”

“Why?”

“Jason Morgan has been admitted. He was injured in a fall but he seems to be suffering from the same condition as the other patients you have tended to lately.”

Finn and Anna's eyes met. Finn felt her hands tighten over his.

“I’m on my way. Thank you.” 

“I have to go.” Finn stepped back but still held Anna’s hand in his. He felt like he was being swept out with the tide and she was his only anchor to shore.

“I love you!” She tried to convey with her eyes as well as her words what was in her heart.

“I love you too!” He answered. It was with those words spoken that their hands broke and Finn was headed down the corridor as fast as he could go. Anna watched until he disappeared and then turned and walked towards the elevators to make her way to the ICU where her friend was waiting for her.

A quick stop at the nurse's station helped her get her bearings and soon Anna looked through the window of Jordan’s recovery room. She couldn’t bring herself to enter and intrude on Curtis’ privacy. She could see him, his shoulders slumped forward as he held his wife's hand. His wife. They had been happy for so brief a time and the sight of him overcome with grief transported Anna to another time and place when she had sat vigil beside Duke and Robert and most recently Finn. She knew that he was bargaining with God, begging her to stay with him, just as she had done too many times to count. He must have felt her eyes on him because he stood up and opened the door for her to enter.

“Come in. I’m glad you came. Maybe you can get through to her. I need to call TJ. He’s on his way here and I want to tell him her room number.”

Anna held out her arms and Curtis accepted her hug.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely, “Please keep her company while I’m gone. Let her know that I won’t be long and I’m coming back.”

“I will. And take care of yourself. Get a cup of coffee or something to eat. I’m here now.”

As Anna walked deeper into the small ICU room she was struck by the familiarity of the setting, of the placement of the monitors and the ever-present sound of beeping medical equipment. How many times had she waited in a room like this? How many more times would she wait in the future? The large intubation tube was placed over Jordan’s mouth and taped to her cheek to keep it in place. It obscured her face but her features looked peaceful as her chest rose and fell in time with the life support machine. Anna steadied herself before walking over and placing her hand over Jordan’s, it felt cool to the touch so she picked it up and tried her best to rub warmth into it. She brought it to her cheek and Anna wanted to impress her presence upon her, to siphon some of her strength and give it to her friend who continued to lie so still, her only movement artificial and machine made.

“This isn’t the end for you. Do you hear me? This isn’t the end.”

She reached to roll a stool closer to the bedside and sat down. She was resolved to act as sentinel until Curtis returned. She felt a tear drift down her cheek but she wiped it away determinedly. Jordan would have no patience for her going soft and Anna didn’t either. She couldn’t help but think about the interactions they had had lately, frustration over Obrecht, the arrest of Griffin for a crime that he could not possibly have the heart to commit, Peter’s questioning. It felt as if they had spent more time being adversaries than allies. But none of that seemed to matter now.

“I know we seem to always be at odds lately but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

Anna notices as a sliver of light streaked across the floor which signaled the opening and closing of the door. Without looking, Anna thought that Curtis must have returned. However, when she finally turned around she was surprised at who was standing in the doorway.

“Robert? What are you doing here?”

“The good doctor called me. He thought I should know about Jason Morgan and Drew Cain.”

“I’m sorry. I should have thought to call you.”

“Your mind was occupied.”

She nodded and turned back to look at Jordan’s still form lying in the hospital bed

“It only takes a moment for a person’s life to completely change. I think you and I know that better than most.” She mused, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

Robert Scorpio was a strong man and the years had only managed to make him as tough as rawhide. But there was still something that could still touch his heart and that was the sight of one particular woman, especially when that woman was in distress. Robert moved to stand beside Anna and put his arm around her shoulder. Anna turned into him and he wrapped his arms around her as her tears fell. He held her tightly and was gratified to feel her arms reach around and reciprocate.

“It’s ok, luv. Let it all out.”

“Robert, I need to know what this is all about. Why this happened to me. What it all means.”

“Anna, we will get to the bottom of this. I promise you.”

“You are always here when I need you.”

“And I always will be. I will protect my family, always. And that includes your doctor. You’ve done worse you know. Ow-” Robert chuckled softly as Anna swatted him on the arm.

“Don’t ruin this.” her words were muffled against his chest.

“Alright. I won’t,” he promised.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is called to help Alexis but can Anna will be there for him?

Finn and Anna’s Manor

The room was draped in shadow when Finn awoke. He blinked for a moment as his eyes adjusted to the dimness of twilight. He could tell the sun had just set, but that the fading light soon it would turn into complete darkness in their bedroom. The events of the day came back to him; he had finished a shift at GH early and come home to find Anna waiting to welcome him. He had taken her hand and led her up the stairs and then shut the world out. They had then drifted off to sleep feeling exhausted and sated. As he replayed the memory of their lovemaking in his mind, what drew his gaze was the sight of pale skin as it illuminated the space next to him. Anna was lying on her side, turned away from him and he listened to the sound of her softly breathing. The bed sheets were tucked under her arm but fell away so that the lines of her back and shoulders were exposed. Finn smiled; it was a sight he could never get enough of. He lay looking for a moment debating on whether or not he could place a kiss on that tempting spot at the nape of her neck without waking her. He realized he had hesitated too long when she began to stir and become awake to the world. Finn decided to make the most of the moment and leaned in to lay his lips on her shoulder before whispering a good evening into her ear. It must have tickled because she laughed gently and turned herself towards him with her 1,000-watt smile. 

“Good evening.” She said drowsily and stretched herself causing the bedclothes to shift around her. Finn's eyes fixated on the smallest hint of coral peeking from under the edge of the sheet. He took a deep breath to control the reaction his body automatically had to hers. That would have to wait for another time, or he would never get out of the house. He turned to look into her warm brown eyes which were brimming with mirth, and she grinned. 

“It is a good evening. But go back to sleep. It’s not time for you to wake up yet. I’m heading into the hospital. I’m going to use the night rotation to get caught up. I have patient files to update, and oddly enough they seem to multiply the longer I ignore them.”

“Alright…I love you. I’ll see you later, yeah?” She lifted her chin and Finn knew what she wanted, and he wasted no time in obliging her with a kiss and wrapped his arms around her for good measure. 

“Definitely. I love you too.”

When he released her eyes were already fluttering closed as sleep reclaimed her. Finn was glad. She needed more rest than she was getting lately. He knew that her worry about her memories was taking its toll and why shouldn’t it. He still harbored a small hope that it wasn’t as it seemed, that the procedure while promising, did not lead to anything more innocuous than perhaps the memory of owning a cat instead of a dog as a child. The idea of anything more damaging was not a thought he could entertain, at least not without more proof. The researcher in him did not and could not speculate without more data. It was hard for him to admit that to her when all Anna wanted was reassurance that her personhood had not been compromised. He was resolved to help her find answers, but he wasn’t able to give her certainty where there was none. The mystery would stay just that, a mystery, until they could be in touch with the people who could shed light on the subject. Finn would have to pin his and her hopes on Dr. Maddox to make sense of it all. 

Finn stayed one more minute relish in the sight of her sleeping peacefully. With a last soft stroke of her hair and his heart full to bursting with love for this complicated, sensual, brilliant woman he turned away from the bed. Unable to pass them by, he took a moment to pick up the clothes that he had flung around the room as he had undressed her earlier in the day. He stopped to fold them neatly and set them on the top of their dresser while reaching for his robe. Like her, he was dressed in only his skin. He recalled the conversation more than a year ago now where they had finally found common ground, confessing that they both had a habit of sleeping as God made them, naked and exposed, and it made him smile. That was still true but, more often than not lately, they began clothed just for the sheer pleasure of undressing each other. 

Finn grabbed his suit, jacket, and his phone and retreated to the bathroom to dress so he wouldn’t disturb her further. He looked at the display and saw two missed calls, a voicemail and a text from a familiar number. 

I need a sponsor. 

Finn looked at the screen, and without hesitation, he hit the call button.

“Hey, I got your message. I’m on my way.”

The Davis Home

“Thanks for coming. Goodnight.” Alexis said with sincerity

“Good night Alexis. If you need me…” Finn raised his hand to his ear to pantomime a phone call and smiled.

She nodded in agreement. “Got it.”

Finn took his literal bag of tricks in hand then he walked out of the door towards his car. Now that Alexis was bolstered it was time to head to General Hospital as he had initially intended. Finn felt good about guiding Alexis through a difficult time in her journey to maintain her sobriety. Their discussion had been illuminating, not just due to her unburdening herself of her concerns and emotion but also the realizations he had about his own. Finn had known deep down that it had been his mistake alone when he had embarked on a relationship with Alexis when his heart was still yearning for Anna, an irony he understood all too well. However, after hearing Alexis speak about Julian, he realized that she had been in no way ready for a relationship either. He had just been a distraction, an obstacle keeping her from understanding what truly drove her addiction. Now as merely a friend, he was much more capable of being helpful to her.  
Finn passed a hand over his face as a wave of exhaustion washed over him. Sponsorship was satisfying, and it was always rewarding to help someone through dark times. It could also reinforce the message of sobriety in his own life but, if he was honest with himself, now he felt physically and emotionally drained from the exchange. 

Seeing Alexis in such a precarious state and pulling her back from the precipice had brought his own addiction history to the fore and all of the painful memories that went along with it; Reiko’s death, his illness, Hayden, the baby, the loss, abandonment all swirling like a vortex in his mind. Finn knew that And now Anna, a woman he finally permitted himself to love was facing a situation that could be ultimately devastating and, considering the nature of the clandestine, most likely dangerous. His life had never been of much consequence, but hers? It said everything. He couldn’t imagine how he would get through another loss, not on his own. That was the problem with fears and phobias; sometimes you never know you have one until you experience it. The threat of losing the people he cared about began to loom large in his psyche. Suddenly his addiction wounds felt painfully fresh. The nebulous what-ifs set his mind racing. He knew it was no use mulling over inconsequential possibilities that he had no power to change and how quickly this vicious cycle could become incapacitating

Finn’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, and the road swam before him as fought to keep the tears that threatened to fall at bay. The realization that he would always be engaged in a battle to fight his own addiction until the day he will be laid in the ground made him feel suddenly exhausted and just as quickly the panic began to rise. The rational part of his brain, the part that had so calmly guided Alexis out of her dark place was worn out and ineffective, and it was the irrational side that was attempting the takeover. He could feel the self-loathing grow thick in his throat as if the memories of his past were trying to choke him. Loneliness, sadness, frustration, and anger all seemed to pool together and settle in his chest, and he felt the weight of it all. It was hard to breathe. Mental tension was provoking muscle tension, and he suddenly felt claustrophobic in his vehicle. 

Finn knew what was happening. He was on the edge of an anxiety attack, something he hadn’t experienced in...he couldn’t even guess how long. He tried to breathe in and out, attempting to regain his equilibrium. He placed his fingers to his neck to verify the physical symptoms, his pulse was racing, his skin felt flushed, and his breathing was increasing. His mind felt restless

“Get a grip. Everything is fine.” 

He was thankful for the lateness of the hour as he abruptly stopped the car in the middle of the street and gripped the wheel so tight his knuckles were white from the effort. Finn looked in the rearview mirror and saw nothing but an empty road behind and his face illuminated by the glow of the street lights. He dropped his head back. He could blame exhaustion, he could blame stress from the puzzle that he and Anna were trying to solve, or he could come to terms with the fact that his recovery was always under threat from both externally and internally and he must be ever vigilant and never take his sobriety for granted.

His mind made up Finn wrenched the steering wheel to the left and turned the car around. He would not be walking the halls of General Hospital tonight. He needed to go home. He needed to go back to the patterns and routines he had established to keep these episodes at bay. 

He was barely aware of his journey as he relied on habit to drive back. He pulled up to the stately house that was now his as well as hers and walked up the dim walkway to the front steps. Finn’s hands trembled as he tried to get the key in the door. He finally used one hand to steady the other and was just able to get the key into the lock. The warmth of the house felt stifling so he stripped off his coat quickly and laid it on the side table and threw his keys on top.  
He looked to the left and froze with astonishment, his jaw dropping open.

What he saw was Anna, seated on the couch, a glass of red wine in one hand and a large hardbound book in the other. Her reading glasses were perched adorably on the end of her nose and nestled on her shoulder was a very happy-looking bearded dragon. Finn stood stock still for what seemed like an eternity as the beauty of the scene in front of him settled over him, soothing his soul like a balm. He watched as she took a sip from her glass and then craned her neck slightly to have a look at the reptile on her shoulder and smiled at it fondly. At that moment she caught sight of him standing in the doorway. She took a moment to free her hands of their contents and rose to greet him cheerfully, steadying Roxy as she moved from the couch.

“Oh hi! I didn’t think I’d see you again tonight. Slow night at the hospital? Or are you still avoiding paperwork?” She teased him gently.

“No. I never made it to the hospital. I needed to help a friend through a rough patch.”

“Who?” She asked curiously

“Alexis.” Finn looked as Anna to gauge her reaction, but her features didn’t change except for an almost imperceptible rise of her eyebrow showing surprise. 

“Is she ok? “

“Yeah. She just needed a sponsor.”

Anna’s expression remained even, but understanding was in her eyes “ It's good you can be there for her.” 

“Yeah, she just needed some encouragement. But I’m home now, and I see that my two favorite ladies are spending time together.”

“Yeah...after you left, I had a dream. I can’t remember it other than it was unsettling. And then I couldn’t sleep anymore. And, I felt lonely so, I don’t know, I thought Roxy might be able to help.”

“She’s good company and a great listener.”

“I noticed. I can see what her appeal is.” Anna smiled, but her expression dimmed as her eyes searched his face.

“Are you ok?” She asked softly, “You look like you might need her more than me.” 

Anna carefully lifted the creature from her shoulder and placed her on gently down on Finn’s. Her eyes scanned him; he knew she was using her skill at cold reading faces to assess him. He knew the spy in her made could never be turned off; she always was evaluating those she was around. He was sure he looked like he felt, tired and wan.

“I’m...going to be ok.” 

Anna looked at him and the unreadable look that filled his eyes. She laid her hand on the side of his face. For one moment she thought he was going to pull away, that he would retreat from her and wrap himself in sarcasm and self-deprecation as he used to do. It made sense. She, more than anyone, understood the impulse to back away, regroup, dismiss the unwanted feelings and never speak of them again. But if their being together had taught her anything it was that all the dark places needed to be opened and their contents laid bare, no matter how painful so that the sunlight could chase away the lingering shadows. 

“Maybe, we should put Roxy back in her terrarium for the night, and we can spend some time together? We could talk about how you are feeling if you want to?” 

One of the reasons he loved her is that she never tried to pull information from him or comfort him with false platitudes but, instead, waited for him to be ready to share. Finn brought his hand to cover hers and smiled down at her upturned face. He lowered his head and kissed her lightly on the lips. He felt her fingers lace through his hair, anchoring him to her. The feeling grounded him, kept him from feeling as if he was being caught in the riptide of emotions that had threatened to pull him under earlier. Maybe it was time to weave her into all of his patterns and routines.

“Yeah. Let’s try that.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is thinking about commitment. Will he act on it?

General Hospital, Port Charles

Anna turned away and took a few steps away from Finn but he wasn’t ready to let her go, and on impulse, he took hold of her wrist and pulled her back to him. He saw surprise flash in her eyes and heard the quick intake of her breath before their lips met. Her lips on his felt good. It was nice to take a moment and indulge in the taste and feel of her. 

“What was that for?” She asked with tenderness in her eyes as if she was surprised at his need for her. 

“Does there have to be a reason?”

“No.” A soft laugh escaped her lips as she smiled at him. Finn smiled back, and his eyes looked at her warmly. He put his hand to the side of her face and kissed her again, unable to resist the nearness of her.

“Finn, what’s gotten into you?:

“What? I didn’t whisk you into a supply closet.”

“True and as much as I would like to continue this, I can’t right now.” She ran her hand down his arm, and Finn felt sparks as it descended.

“Where are you headed?” He asked. Maybe he could convince her to take a brief moment for themselves.

“Oh. I have a phlebotomy appointment. I’m going to head there now. But It won’t take long.”

“Ok, I’ll be in my office maybe come kiss me goodbye before you leave.”

“I would love to, but I’m afraid we will have to put this on hold for when I come home tonight. I promised Felicia that we would go out and talk and we are supposed to meet at Kelly’s. I want to check in with her since the whole Ryan Chamberlin revelation. She could use a friend right now. And if anyone can sympathize with her situation, it would be me.” 

“I guess I will have to be patient then.”

Her eyes shined at him, and Anna pressed another kiss quickly to his lips. Finn resisted the urge to pull her to him and kiss her until she was breathless. Now wasn’t the time, he knew that- so he left her to go and watched as she walked down the corridor. Anna paused to beam at him and lift her hand to wave before turning left and disappearing from view. 

Finn walked the mostly empty halls of GH towards his office. What he needed most were some peace and quiet and a moment to think uninterrupted. He needed to find respite in the eye of the hurricane that always seemed to be swirling around him. 

First, it was the mystery of Anna’s blindness, then the revelation that she had been abducted and drugged and her memory violated. And to add insult to injury, the betrayal was orchestrated the unholy terror that was Alex Devane, her own sister, a woman who told him in no uncertain terms that he would never be enough for Anna. What was most disconcerting to Finn was that those words were spoken with such authority from a face that was an identical copy of the one he adored. Try as he might to remind himself that she was a known liar and manipulator, her words still gnawed at him. Alex probably hadn’t anticipated that her words would rouse something inside Finn that he had tried to keep under control for so long. Hope. Hope for a future with Anna Devane. 

Alex’s words had struck like a bolt out of the blue, and suddenly Finn was transported back to a night, not that far back he realized when he had been held a gunpoint, and he had watched an evil man trying to take possession of Anna while he was powerless to help her.

I saw a glimpse of my future, a future that didn’t have her in it. I didn’t like what I saw.

In his recovery meetings, Finn had been told to live life one day at a time. The phrase was not just simple encouragement or a platitude to repeat to himself; it held a more significant meaning. It represented his commitment to sobriety and the importance of it in his life. It was a mantra that he had come to apply to his relationship with Anna as well. The danger that her job inevitably brought meant that he was not willing to take even one day for granted. To love Anna Devane “one day at a time” was to focus on the present moment, and not have to worry about his or her past or the unknown future. A future that could be cut short by any number of tragedies. He was a worrier by nature, and he found it easier to keep those worries at bay when he focused on the here and now. 

What Finn appreciated most was that Anna never believed that his addiction was a sign of weakness or a character flaw. They each brought baggage to the relationship. Hell, Anna brought a whole luggage car with her. In different ways, life had left each of them drained and damaged – emotionally and physically, and shame and guilt haunted them both. Finn couldn’t help but shake his head ruefully, what a pair they were. And yet somehow they just...worked. Day by day they were building, and living, a happy, satisfying life. Finn as a recovering addict didn’t expect perfection in his partner; he knew that it didn’t exist. But what had come as a wonderful surprise was that Anna seemed perfect for him. And he had told her so. He just hoped she believed him. At one time Finn had felt unsure about their future and anxious for the unknown. But now, at this moment, he felt prepared for the future and able to handle the past.

With that thought in mind, Finn picked up his coat and headed towards the elevators.

Wyndham's Department Store, Port Charles

Finn reached the shining glass doors and placed his hand on the gleaming brass handles and pulled them open. He had no idea how he had ended up at Wyndham's. He had been headed home, but instinct had made him make a left instead of a right, and now he found himself in the brightly lit store. An upbeat instrumental version of Pour Some Sugar on Me was playing and only a few feet in front of him was what seemed like acres of glass display cases, shining almost as brightly as the gems and metals they contained. Finn pulled at his collar, he suddenly felt conspicuous and looked around in wary apprehension in case any familiar faces happened to be curious as to why he would be headed towards the jewelry counter. He breathed a sigh of relief to see nothing but strange faces. Well, save one. 

Finn’s eyes locked on a petite, gray-haired woman. She had the same short, no-nonsense haircut that he remembered and was clad in a pink sweatshirt adorned with an Easter basket and bunny. It was Carol. He had hoped she might have retired since the last time he bought a gift for Anna, but luck was not on his side. Finn debated whether he should turn around and come back later but his courage was at the sticking place, and he felt like it was the moment and he would be deterred by nothing. Not even 5 ft 2 inches of sarcasm and disdain. 

Finn took a few hesitant steps forward and stared down into the nearest display case at the variety of sparkling multi-faceted stones in front of him. He tried to remember back to when he had bought Reiko her ring. Something about the four C’s...what were they? Color? Color was one of them, and...cost? Was that one? That shouldn’t be what he focused on. Finn caught his reflection in the glass and saw that he was flushed. Finn stood up and took a few steadying breaths. What mattered the most was symbolism and commitment, right? That’s what he would focus on.

Finn drummed his fingers on the display case, then drew back and began to pace back and forth in front of the jewelry counter. He ran his hands through his hair in agitation. He knew what he wanted to do so why was this too hard?

“You need help?” A three-pack-a-day voice asked.

“Uh, sure,” Finn said with a sigh of relief. Everything was starting to look the same to Finn, and he certainly didn’t want to end up buying the first thing he saw. 

“Hey, I remember you. You were in here a couple of Christmases ago. You bought a silver bracelet for a special-girl-who-wasn’t-special for you. How did that go? Did you man up and tell her how you felt?”

“I would say that the term “man-up” is a little sexist, but yes I did...eventually. And we are very happy; thank you for asking.”

You bought her a silver cuff bracelet, right? Did she like it?”

Finn thought back to the their ill-fated New Years Eve, when he had been drugged and she had been abducted and tied to Valentin Cassadine for the evening. Finn thought with pride about her using his gift to free herself and come to his rescue. 

“Yeah, it ended up being a real lifesaver, actually.” Finn smiled. Who needed a knight in shining armor when he had Anna Devane in a shining cuff bracelet? 

“So what are you here for today? Did you screw up and you need to say sorry?”

“No. As a matter of fact I...I wanted to have a look at, um, engagement rings.”

“Well now, you’re a fast mover aren’t you?”

“Are you going to assist me or should I find someone else?”

“Fine. Let’s get down to business. Your girl- what is she like? That can help make a decision.”  
Finn opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. How would one even begin to describe Anna Devane? How could you summarize in a few sentences the most enchanting, strong, complicated woman he had ever met? Carol eyed him, picking up on his inarticulation and seemed to take pity on him. 

“Is this girl of yours traditional? If so I would start with the diamond solitaires. You only have to pick out the size and shape. Easy-peasy.”

“Traditional?” Finn couldn’t help but chuckle at the word. “No, I’d say she is the polar opposite of traditional.”

“Ok well over here we have your wedding sets, an engagement ring with a matching band. Does anything here catch your eye?

Finn bent forward and peered into the glass cabinet. He studied them for a moment but couldn’t imagine any of them on Anna’s finger.

“I...I don’t know if a diamond is right for her.” He said slowly.

“Ah, now we are getting somewhere. How about gemstones?”

“Maybe. Can I see some?”

“Over this way.” She walked a few paces over to another display case, and Finn was faced with a riot of color. Red, green, blue, yellow and pink sparkles danced in front of him, and he felt disoriented by the number of choices.

“Each stone has a meaning. Did you know that? Some people care about that sort of thing.” 

“I guess I never really thought about it before.” Finn pondered the notion for a moment. He decided he liked the idea of Anna’s ring being symbolic. 

Carol pointed to the rings in the case. “Emerald symbolizes hope and the future, renewal, and growth.” 

Finn shook his head slowly. Carol moved on to another.

“Ruby is for passion and prosperity. It’s supposed to stir the blood.” Finn looked at the smooth scarlet surface. Anna certainly had the power to set his pulse racing. Maybe this is the one? 

While he stood in thought, Finn’s eye was drawn to ring with a large center stone flanked by diamonds. The gem was dark, and at first glance, he couldn’t exactly make out its color, it looked almost black, but when he looked closer, he saw that it was a deep blue and a rich light seemed to glow from within the heart of the stone. He loved Anna in blue; it always set off the paleness of her skin. This ring would do the same.

Carol noticed that it had captured his attention and she drew it from the case and placed it in front of him. 

“That’s a black sapphire. It is supposed to symbolize the wisdom of one’s own intuition. It‘s also a grounding stone for protection, strength, but also of kindness and wise judgment. Black sapphire is a calming stone which means they are supposed to keep you calm in chaotic situations. It’s recommended to wear black sapphires for stressful or demanding careers, especially those dealing with death or human tragedy.”

Finn looked up and gaped at her for a moment. He felt like he was having his fortune read. Carol just looked at him and shrugged.

“What? I’m just telling you what I know, that’s all. It’s probably a lot of hocus pocus, but that’s what they say. I’ve never really decided if I take stock in it or not.” Finn looked back at the ring on the counter and touched it reverently with his finger. 

“It looks like Anna.” He said softly, mostly to himself. He imagined slipping it onto her finger, her eyes shining and her smile radiant. He indulged in picturing in his mind's eye her saying yes and throwing her arms around his neck while he held her firmly and swung her around in his arms. Then he would wrap his arms around her and kiss her, and they would look at the ring and laugh joyfully together.

“If I could make a suggestion…”

Finn snapped out of his daydream as Carol’s gravelly voice intruded on his revery. “Can I stop you?” He said dryly.

She gave him a withering look and Finn ducked his head and cleared his throat. “Sorry, Go ahead.” He apologized and motioned for her to continue.

“I would suggest you put that ring on layaway. You can pay half down now and then pick it up in 14 days when you pay the balance.”

Finn looked at her confused. “What? Why? I’m completely capable of paying for it now.”

“Oh sure. I know that. That’s beside the point. Think of it as, I don’t know- a waiting period.”

“Why would I need to wait to buy an engagement ring?”

“I think everyone should have a cooling off period.”

“A cooling off period?”

“Listen, I can tell you love this girl. You probably feel for her in a way you have never felt before yadda yadda yadda. But this is a big deal. You are here and hyped up in the emotions of finding a ring. Imagining how she will look when you give it to her. Don’t get me wrong, son, it’s heady stuff, but you need a cool head when you make a purchase like this.”

“Hey, my head it cool. I’m completely cool! I’ve never been cooler!”

“You know the term “pull the trigger”? What do you think you are doing when you propose? You’re altering the course of your life and hers.” 

“I’m buying a ring, not a gun. I hate guns. I’d never touch a gun.” 

“Kid. You are deciding for the rest of your life.”

“I know what I’m doing. And I’m not a kid. I’ll take it.”

“Alright, alright. I won’t argue with you any further. I get a commission whether you are really ready to give your girl that ring or not. How do you want to pay.”

“Uh, with my Wyndham’s card, I guess. I save 15% right?” 

“Only 10% on fine jewelry.”

“Whatever. Fine.” Finn paid for his purchase and picked up the black box. He turned it over in his hands, and it felt good. He slipped it into his pocket. He would have to find a good place to stash it so Anna wouldn’t discover it too soon. Sometimes her uncanny senses could get in the way of a surprise. And this was one surprise Finn didn’t want spoiled. He thought of Robert’s attempt at a pep talk, at least that's what Finn liked to think of it as. 

“Tell her you love her. Tell her that her past doesn’t matter. Tell her whatever stupid platitude pops into your head.”

That was his plan. Finn was buoyant; he was ready to let Anna know that he loved her and intended to keep loving her. He was choosing her and saying it was as much for him as it was for her. Finn exited the store, happy and finally sure about the future.


End file.
